Watching BBC Sherlock
by Fan Gals
Summary: Formerly called Memories of Sherlock. After a mysterious phone call offers information about Sherlock, everyone sits down to watch the adventures of the deceased detective. Watching the series fic. T for minor language in the episodes.
1. Chapter 1

**Another story already? Gosh, well, consider it an apology in advance for if I don't update enough. Post Riechenbach story. Enjoy!**

**I wish I owned Sherlock. I also wished for a Hogwarts letter and a dragon. I have unrealistic wishes.**

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John hobbled into New Scotland Yard, leaning heavily on his cane. He hadn't been there since Sherlock's...passing. It held too many painful memories.

Before long, John found himself in Lestrade's office, surrounded by some very familiar people. Sally and Anderson stood on either side of Lestrade. The DI had managed to keep his job because Mycroft had pulled a few strings. The two officers next to him on the other hand made John's blood boil.

A few out of place people were also there. Molly and Mrs. Hudson stood to the side, quietly talking and Mycroft stood front and center, his assistant, Anthea, typing furiously on her blackberry next to him.

Mycroft gave John a disarming Holmes smile. John internally flinched. Sherlock...

"Ah, Dr. Watson. So glad you could join us. We can begin now." Mycroft nodded to the woman next to him and she stepped forward. Holding up her blackberry, she said,"Mr. Holmes received a message not to long ago. I'll play it for you now."

Mycroft's assistant pressed a button on her phone and a recorded phone conversation filled the room. A girl's voice emitted from the device,"Hello, Mr. Holmes! It has come to my attention that there is a certain ignorance surrounding the passing of a detective. Sherlock was indeed a great man, and I hope to clear a few things up for you. A friend of mine has offered me a list of names of those who are to be included in the proceedings."

The voice was replaced by the rustling of paper and the girl cleared her throat. "Here we are, I need you to gather DI Lestrade, Sgt. Donovan, Mr. Anderson, Dr. Watson, Mrs. Hudson, Ms. Hooper and yourself. Go to New Scotland Yard. I will send a car for you all. You won't be harmed, so don't worry. I'll meet you at an old movie theater. Bye!"

On that note, the call ended, leaving everyone in shock. Mrs. Hudson seemed to recover first,"Shall we see if the car is here yet, loves?" Mycroft cleared his throat and nodded,"Yes, let's."

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The group stood stunned on the steps of New Scotland Yard. A large black limo had pulled up and a woman with long auburn hair stood waiting by the open door. "Ah, you all are ready to go, then?" The woman waved her hand at the opened door of the limo.

Everyone glanced at one another, then climbed into the limousine. All except Anthea, who left with a nod from Mycroft. The woman climbed in after and the group began their trip to meet the mystery girl.

The auburn haired woman gave them a smile,"My name is Kate by the way. Ask me if you have any questions."

Molly timidly asked,"Who called us here?"

Kate shook her head,"Now that's one question I can't answer. She'll introduce herself when we get there."

For the rest of the trip, everyone was silent.

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**To be continued...**

**I'm so evil. Sorry if it's bad. I'm writing this pretty late at night and I'm really tired. The actual episode watching starts in chapter 2. Until then my readers!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey there my people! Phil the squirrel here with an update. Remember that I own nothing except for me in this story. All bold words other than the author's notes are owned by the owners of Sherlock. Enjoy!**

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The car pulled up next to a beautiful cinema. Everyone's eyes widened, including Mycroft, as Kate lifted her head from her reading and said,"We're here. Everybody out!"

The group filed out of the limo and into the building. Kate gave them a little wave from the open window as the car drove away.

Two women stood in the lobby. One had on stilettos and a knee length white dress. Her dark brown hair was curled into a delicate updo and her flawless face wore a mischievous smile. Irene Adler.

John and Mycroft froze, shocked. John gulped,"Irene? You're not dead?"

She raised a delicate eyebrow,"Yes, why?" Irene placed a hand over her heart,"Should I be?"

The other woman stepped forward and placed a hand on Irene's arm,"No need to tease them. They're in shock." The woman's voice matched the voice from the message perfectly. The woman wore jean shorts and a hoodie that concealed her face from the group.

"Now for the introductions. Sorry for the mysterious circumstances, but I didn't know how else to contact you," she shuffled her feet awkwardly. "I know who you all are, so I'll just introduce myself. It is pointless to use my real name, so you may call me Phil."

Anderson made a sound of protest at the back of his throat. She dismissed his discomfort with a wave of a hand,"Oh, please. I didn't get that from you. Please follow me."

Phil led them all to a small room with a large television landing on the wall. Couches filled the space in front of it. Phil gestured to the couches and said,"Sit in this order: Mrs. Hudson, John, Lestrade, Molly, Sally and Anderson. Mycroft gets the armchair and Irene, you get the armchair in the back. I don't trust you anywhere else."

The girl moved in front of the TV. "We'll be watching a show about you called Sherlock. But before we start, I need to tell you one thing about Sherlock." She turned her head slightly towards Mycroft before saying,"Sherlock is alive."

Simultaneously, everyone but Mycroft yelled,"What!?"

"Bu-but, how?" Sally stuttered.

"The show will explain everything. Trust me." She walked out of the room and yelled over her shoulder,"I'll start the movie!"

With that, the lights dimmed and all eyes turned to the screen.

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**Actual movie watching in the next chapter. I'm getting my script from Ariane DeVere aka Callie Sullivan. Happy Easter to those who celebrate it! Good day to those who don't!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Actual watching the movie now. To answer your question, I am starting with The Great Game to introduce Moriarty to those who haven't met him in the group. Enjoy!**

**I got t****he excerpts from the episode from Ariane DeVere aka Callie Sullivan. Thanks to her for putting the action and genius of BBC Sherlock to words. All of the bold between author's notes is from her transcript.**

**I own nothing!**

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**_Opening_ titles.**

**_221B BAKER STREET. Two gunshots ring_**_** out**.**T**_**_he camera pans across the living room and shows Sherlock lying slumped in his armchair with his head resting on the low back of the chair. He closes his eyes briefly, then opens them and gazes up towards the ceiling. Downstairs, the front door opens. Sherlock turns his head to look towards the sofa, and we now see that he is sprawled low in the chair with his legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. He is wearing sleepwear and a blue silk dressing gown and his feet are bare. Above the sofa, a smiley face has been spray-painted on the wallpaper using a can of the yellow paint which was so frequently used in the "Blind Banker" case. _**

"Um, do I want to know why there's a smiley face on the wall?" Sally asked carefully. From the projection room behind them, Phil called out,"Probably not."

**_The can is standing on the coffee table in front of the sofa. As the downstairs door closes Sherlock sighs, turns his head to the front again and then raises his left hand which is holding a pistol. He points the pistol towards the smiley face and – without even looking in that direction – fires two shots at it. _**

"Oi! What does the Freak have against smiley faces?!" Anderson yelped as the bullets hit their target.

Mycroft and John scowled. Irene raised a delicate eyebrow at Anderson in a casual threat as Phil called out,"Anderson, I'll make a bet with you."

Anderson looked mildly surprised as he yelled back,"Oh yeah? And what's that?"

"I will bet you five dollars that your opinion of Sherlock will change by the time we finish here."

Anderson considered it for a moment, then called out,"Deal!"

The episode resumed.

**_A close-up reveals that there are already two bullet holes in the wall where the two eyes had been sprayed, and the two new bullets have impacted the curve of the smile. Sherlock turns his head to look at the face and fires a third shot which either misses the smile or was deliberately aimed to form a 'nose' for the face. _**

"Since when is Sherlock such a good shot?" Lestrade demanded. John was quietly smirking from his seat as Mycroft rolled his eyes.

"Detective Inspector, this is why require my brother's assistance on so many cases. You see yet you do not observe. My brother is trained in many forms of self defense, including hand-to-hand combat."

Everyone stared at the on screen Sherlock in shock. Lestrade glanced back at Mycroft, who he swore was muttering something about goldfish.

**_As he fires a fourth time, John comes running up the stairs with his fingers in his ears. He stops on the landing, lowers his hands and yells at his flatmate._**

**JOHN: What the ****_hell_**** are you doing?**

"John got angry?" Lestrade asked, only partly sarcastic. It was hard to imagine John getting mad at anyone.

Mycroft raised an eyebrow and pointed out,"It's Sherlock. What do you expect?"

**SHERLOCK ****_(sulkily)_****: Bored.  
JOHN ****_(more quietly, squinting at him in disbelief)_****: What?  
SHERLOCK ****_(loudly)_****: Bored!  
****_(He springs up out of the chair. John immediately recoils and covers his ears with his hands.)_****  
JOHN: No ...  
****_(Sherlock switches the pistol to his right hand and turns towards the smiley face, firing at it again. He then swings his arm around his back, twists slightly to his right and fires at the wall from behind his back.)_****  
SHERLOCK ****_(angrily)_****: Bored! Bored!  
****_(As he brings his arm back around, John hurries into the room and Sherlock continues to glare at the smiley face but allows John to snatch the pistol from his hand. John quickly slides the clip out of the gun as Sherlock walks towards the sofa.)_****  
SHERLOCK ****_(sulkily)_****: Don't know what's got into the criminal classes. Good job I'm not one of them.  
****_(John locks the pistol away in a small safe on the dining table, and then straightens up.)_****  
JOHN: So you take it out on the wall.  
SHERLOCK ****_(running his fingers along the painted smile)_****: Ah, the wall had it coming.  
****_(He turns sideways and dramatically flops down onto the sofa on his back, his head landing on a cushion at one end and his feet digging into the arm of the sofa at the end nearest the windows.)_****  
JOHN ****_(taking his coat off)_****: What about that Russian case?  
****_(Sherlock pushes with his feet to shove himself further along the sofa and into a slightly more upright position, and then starts kneading the arm of the sofa with his toes.)_****  
SHERLOCK: Belarus. Open and shut domestic murder. Not worth my time.  
JOHN ****_(sarcastically)_****: Ah, shame(!)  
****_(He walks into the kitchen and throws his arms up in despair at the mess on the table which greets him. He heads towards the fridge.)_****  
JOHN: Anything in? I'm starving.  
****_(He opens the fridge door.)_****  
JOHN: Oh, f...**

"John Watson!" Mrs. Hudson admonished him, scandalized. "Language, young man!"

John looked terrified,"I didn't curse!"

"No, but you almost did!"

The others watched the two, partially with amusement, partially with fear. An angry Mrs. Hudson was a scary Mrs. Hudson!

**_(He immediately slams it shut again, unable to believe what he just saw inside. He slumps against the door for a moment, his head lowered, then he straightens up and opens the door again. On the shelf inside is a man's head, cut off at the neck, the face looking towards the door. He stares at it for a couple of seconds, then quietly closes the door again.)_**

Sally paled along with many of the other occupants of the room. "Is that a head?"

Lestrade's eyes were wide,"Who in their right mind would give Sherlock a severed head?"

Only Mycroft and John noticed Molly shift uncomfortably from between Lestrade and Sally.

Mrs. Hudson leaned over to John and muttered,"He never learns."

John grinned at her,"He wouldn't be Sherlock if he did."

The two chuckled and turned back towards the TV.

**JOHN: It's a head.  
****_(He turns and calls out.)_****  
JOHN: A severed head!  
SHERLOCK: Just tea for me, thanks.  
JOHN ****_(walking back into the living room)_****: No, there's a head in the fridge.  
SHERLOCK ****_(calmly)_****: Yes.  
JOHN: A bloody head!  
SHERLOCK ****_(stroppily)_****: Well, where ****_else_**** was I supposed to put it?  
****_(He looks round at John.)_****  
SHERLOCK: You don't mind, do you?  
****_(John holds out his hands despairingly and looks back towards the fridge.)_****  
SHERLOCK: I got it from Bart's morgue.**

All eyes turned to Molly. The mousy girl sheepishly smack into her armchair.

**_(John buries his head in one hand.)_****  
SHERLOCK: I'm measuring the coagulation of saliva after death.  
****_(He waves his hand vaguely in the direction of a nearby laptop.)_****  
SHERLOCK: I see you've written up the taxi driver case.  
JOHN ****_(throwing one last glance at the fridge)_****: Uh, yes.  
****_(He walks over to Sherlock's armchair and sits down.)_****  
SHERLOCK: "A Study in Pink." Nice(!)**

"Did Sherlock just give a compliment? The world is ending!" Anderson gasped in mock horror. The others gave light chuckles.

**JOHN: Well, you know, pink lady, pink case, pink phone – there ****_was_**** a lot of pink. Did you like it?  
****_(Even as John has been speaking, Sherlock has picked up a magazine from the coffee table and he now flips it open and addresses his answer to the pages.)_****  
SHERLOCK: Erm, no.**

"And, it's back to normal again," Anderson muttered as he slouched into the couch.

**JOHN: Why not? I thought you'd be flattered.  
SHERLOCK ****_(lowering the magazine and glaring at him)_****: Flattered? ****_(He raises his index fingers and narrates a section of the blog.)_**** "Sherlock sees through everything and everyone in seconds. What's incredible, though, is how spectacularly ignorant he is about some things."**

Mrs. Hudson gaped at John,"You really put that?"

John shrugged.

Mrs. Hudson gave him an impish grin,"Good of you, John. He needed to hear it."

**JOHN: Now hang on a minute. I didn't mean that in a ...  
SHERLOCK ****_(interrupting)_****: Oh, you meant "spectacularly ignorant" in a ****_nice_**** way(!) Look, it doesn't matter to me who's Prime Minister ...  
JOHN ****_(quietly)_****: I know ...  
SHERLOCK: ... or who's sleeping with who ...  
JOHN ****_(softly)_****: Whether the Earth goes round the Sun ...  
SHERLOCK: Not that again. It's not ****_important_****.  
JOHN: Not impor...  
****_(He shifts his position in the chair to face Sherlock.)_****  
JOHN: It's primary school stuff. ****_How_**** can you not know that?  
SHERLOCK ****_(pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes)_****: Well, if I ever did, I've deleted it.  
JOHN: "Deleted it"?  
SHERLOCK ****_(swinging his legs around to the floor and sitting up to face John)_****: Listen.  
****_(He points to his head with one finger.)_****  
SHERLOCK: This is my hard drive, and it only makes sense to put things in there that are useful ... ****_really_**** useful.  
****_(He grimaces.)_****  
SHERLOCK: Ordinary people fill their heads with all kinds of rubbish, and that makes it hard to get at the stuff that matters. Do you see?  
****_(John looks at him for a moment, trying to bite his lip but then can't contain himself.)_****  
JOHN: But it's the ****_solar system!  
(Sherlock briefly buries his head in his hands.)_****  
SHERLOCK: Oh, hell! What does that ****_matter_****?!  
****_(He looks at John in frustration.)_****  
SHERLOCK: So we go round the Sun! If we went round the Moon, or round and round the garden like a teddy bear, it wouldn't make any difference. All that matters to me is the work. Without that, my brain rots.**

"'Around the garden like a teddy bear?' Where does the man get this stuff from?" Lestrade smirked, amused. They all looked at Mycroft. He looked away,"My brother was always a bit, um, eccentric."

Molly bit back a laugh. She hadn't spoken the whole time for fear of missing some of the action on screen. But she knew that Mycroft was being delicate when he described his brother.

**_(He ruffles his hair with both hands, then glares at John.)_****  
SHERLOCK: Put ****_that_**** in your blog. Or better still, stop inflicting your opinions on the world.  
****_(Petulantly shoving the magazine across the coffee table, he lies down on the sofa again, turning over with his back to John and pulling his dressing gown around him while curling up into a ball. John looks away and purses his lips. The front door downstairs opens and closes. John stands up and walks towards the living room door.)_****  
SHERLOCK ****_(looking over his shoulder)_****: Where are you going?  
JOHN ****_(tightly, putting his jacket on)_****: Out. I need some air.  
****_(He heads for the stairs, which Mrs Hudson is just coming up.)_****  
JOHN: 'Scuse me, Mrs ...  
MRS HUDSON: Oh, sorry, love!  
JOHN: Sorry.  
****_(Angrily, Sherlock turns his face away again, pulling the cushion under his head nearer to the back of the sofa and curling up even tighter. Mrs Hudson chuckles at John as he passes her but then turns and looks at him in concern as he hurries down the stairs. She comes to the living room door and knocks.)_****  
MRS HUDSON: Ooh-ooh!  
****_(Sherlock stretches his legs out straight and turns his head enough to acknowledge her existence, but then looks away again. Mrs Hudson carries a couple of shopping bags into the kitchen.) _****  
MRS HUDSON: Have you two had a little domestic?**

"Mrs. Hudson?" John asked. Said woman looked at her tenant,"Yes, dear?" The man nodded,"Why do you keep insisting that Sherlock and I are a couple?"

Everyone, other than Molly, Irene and Mycroft, looked at him as if he had lost his mind. Sally looked confused,"You mean you aren't?!"

John looked around at the faces that stared at him, then slowly released an exasperated breathe,"No, we aren't. Now please watch the movie."

**_(Flailing to get himself upright, Sherlock stands up off the sofa and takes the shortest route to his destination, walking over the coffee table and going to the left-hand window just as the downstairs door opens and closes.)_****  
MRS HUDSON: Ooh, it's a bit nippy out there. He should have wrapped himself up a bit more.  
****_(Sherlock watches John as he crosses the street and heads in the general direction of away.)_****  
SHERLOCK: Look at that, Mrs Hudson. ****_(He scans the street.)_**** Quiet, calm, peaceful. ****_(He grimaces and drags in a long breath.)_**** Isn't it ****_hateful_****?**

"Well, he's a little bundle of sunshine, isn't he?" Irene muttered as she gazed at Sherlock.

No one heard the comment.

**_(Mrs Hudson has unloaded some items from her shopping bags and now brandishes a receipt at Sherlock before putting it down on the kitchen table.)_****  
MRS HUDSON: Oh, I'm sure something'll turn up, Sherlock. A nice murder – that'll cheer you up.  
****_(She chuckles slightly as she carries her bags towards the living room door.)_****  
SHERLOCK ****_(wistfully)_****: Can't come too soon.  
MRS HUDSON ****_(stopping when she spots the damaged wall)_****: Hey. What've you done to my bloody wall?!**

John grinned mischievously at his landlady,"You were saying, Mrs. Hudson?"

The others laughed as the woman's cheeks turned a light pink.

**_(Sherlock quirks a smile and turns around to admire his handiwork.)_****  
MRS HUDSON ****_(angrily)_****: I'm putting this on your rent, young man!  
**_**(She storms off down the stairs. Sherlock – who has magically relocated without moving and is now in the middle of the room standing just in front of the dining table – grins over-dramatically at the bullet-riddled smiley face, then sighs and turns his head to the front just as a massive explosion goes off in the street behind him. The windows blow in and the blast hurls him forward and to the floor. **_

Those watching the movie instinctively jumped at the explosion and gasped as Sherlock went down. Molly felt particularly worried about the detective. It wasn't like him to be caught off guard like that.

_**As the scene fades to black, he groans ...)**_

The lights turned back on and everyone turned to see Phil standing in the doorway. She shrugged, probably apologetic, and said,"Sorry, guys. That's all for now. We'll continue watching in a minute."

The others gave little protests before grumbling as Phil raised her finger. She said cheerfully," A friend of mine is going to help me out when we start watching again. Until then," she cupped her mouth and yelled,"please review, my readers!"

Only Mycroft, the only one to have figured out what was going on, didn't give the girl a strange look.

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**I feel so accomplished right now, you have no idea. I had no idea how long these things took to write! So, reviews please? I love you guys. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the random uploads. These watching/reading fanfictions take forever to write. Here's the next scene. And as promised, I brought some special quests!**

**I own nothing.**

**Enjoy!**

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The lights turned back on as their captor, 'Phil' entered the room followed by two other girls.

Standing together by the door, they were almost identical. The two newcomers wore jackets with hoods that made their features indistinguishable, one in red, one in blue.

"Okay, everyone," Phil began. "These are the special guests I told you about. She's Park," Phil gestured to the girl in the blue coat.

"And this is Paul," she gestured to the girl with red coat.

The two both grinned and held up peace signs.

"S'up!"

"Hi!"

The movie watchers exchanged glances before waving back and offering their greetings.

Phil seemed satisfied, "These two will stay in here with you guys while I run the movie. Park is here to keep you from hurting each other if it comes to that. She knows what to watch out for. Paul is here to prevent Park from passing out when she begins to fangirl."

"To what?"

Phil coughed, "Oh, uh, nothing. Also-"

The door opened yet again to reveal Mary Morstan, who walked over to John with a smile. She sat between her boyfriend and Lestrade. The others stared at Mary, whom they had never met before.

"You got kidnapped too?" John joked as he draped an arm over Mary's shoulders.

"Ugh, it was horrible. The hostess is terrible!" Mary replied wittily.

"Hey!" Phil called out in an offended tone. She missed her two companions' laughter from the door way.

"So, she knows what's happening. Get ready to watch some more!" Phil dashed out of the room, leaving Paul and Park to sit down by the door. The lights dimmed and the movie resumed from where it left off.

**_After a taxi ride during which, bizarrely, Sherlock has briefly changed into a white shirt [and your transcriber smacks the editors], the boys arrive at New Scotland Yard and are following Detective Inspector Lestrade across the general office towards his office._**

**LESTRADE: You like the funny cases, don't you? The surprising ones.**

**SHERLOCK: Obviously.**

**LESTRADE: You'll love _this_. That explosion ...**

**SHERLOCK _(briefly exchanging glares with Detective Sergeant Donovan as he walks past her desk)_: Gas leak, yes?**

"You two really don't like each other, do you?" Molly commented, noticing the exchange of glares.

Sally raised an eyebrow that provided Molly with an answer.

**LESTRADE: No.**

**SHERLOCK: No?**

**LESTRADE: No. Made to _look_ like one.**

**JOHN: What?**

**_(By now they're in Lestrade's office and Sherlock stops and stares down at a white envelope lying on the desk.)_**

**LESTRADE: Hardly anything left of the place except a strong box – a _very_ strong box – and inside it was this.**

**_(He points to what Sherlock's looking at.)_**

**SHERLOCK: You haven't opened it?**

**LESTRADE: It's addressed to you, isn't it?**

**_(Sherlock reaches towards the envelope.)_**

**LESTRADE: We've X-rayed it. It's not booby-trapped.**

**SHERLOCK _(hesitating slightly)_: How reassuring(!)**

Paul leaned over to Park, "Did Sherlock just hesitate?"

Park smirked from under her hood, "It shocked me too."

**_(He picks up the envelope and takes it across the room to another table which has an anglepoise lamp on it. Holding the envelope close to the bulb he examines both sides carefully. On the front in elegant handwriting are the words "Sherlock Holmes – by hand.")_**

**SHERLOCK: Nice stationery. Bohemian.**

**LESTRADE: What?**

**SHERLOCK: From the Czech Republic. No fingerprints?**

**LESTRADE: No.**

**SHERLOCK _(looking closely at the writing)_: She used a fountain pen. A Parker Duofold – iridium nib.**

**JOHN: "She"?**

**SHERLOCK: Obviously.**

Paul glanced up at those watching, "Is that his favorite word or something? He's said it twice in under five minutes."

John gave a little chuckle, "You have no idea."

**JOHN _(struggling not to sigh)_: Obviously(!)**

**_(Sherlock picks up a letter opener from the desk and carefully slits the envelope open. He looks inside and his mouth opens a little in surprise as he reaches in and takes out a pink iPhone.)_**

**JOHN _(shocked)_: But that's – that's the phone, the pink phone.**

**LESTRADE: What, from the Study in Pink?**

**SHERLOCK: Well, obviously it's not the same phone but it's supposed to look like ...**

**_(He stops when he realises what Lestrade just said. He turns to face him. Sally has come into the room to put some files down on a desk near the door.)_**

**SHERLOCK: The Study in Pink? You read his blog?**

Park sniggered, "John-1, Sherlock-0"

John gave a quiet cheer as Mary joked with a sigh, "I'm dating a-two year-old."

**LESTRADE: Course I read his blog! We _all_ do. D'you _really_ not know that the Earth goes round the Sun?**

Mary smacked John lightly on the arm, "You really had to put that on there?"

John sheepishly shrugged as Sally grinned, "Thanks for that."

**_(Sally sniggers loudly. Sherlock, who is taking off his gloves, glares at her as John purses his lips in embarrassment. Sally leaves the room and Sherlock turns his concentration back to the phone.)_**

**SHERLOCK: It isn't the same phone. This one's brand new.**

**_(He's looking at the connection sockets, none of which have scratches around them.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Someone's gone to a lot of trouble to make it _look_ like the same phone, which means your blog has a far wider readership.**

**_(He throws an accusatory look at John, who does his best to ignore it. Sherlock switches the phone on and immediately gets a voice alert.)_**

**VOICE ALERT: You have one new message.**

**_(The message plays but there is no voice – just the unmistakeable sound of the Greenwich Time Signal. However, while the "Greenwich pips" – as they're more generally called – consist of five short pips and one longer tone, this recording has only four short pips and the longer one. Strangely, nobody ever comments on this.)_**

**JOHN: Is that it?**

**SHERLOCK: No. That's _not_ it.**

**_(A photograph has also been uploaded to the phone. He opens it and Lestrade comes across to look over his shoulder. The picture is of an unfurnished room with a fireplace on one wall. The wallpaper is peeling and there's a tall mirror propped up in one corner. A smaller mirror – the type which is usually hung up above a fireplace – is standing on the mantelpiece.)_**

"Oh dear!" Mrs. Hudson exclaimed. "That's how he knew to check the basement? He found a picture of it on some bomber's phone!"

Molly stood and moved over to the landlady, "Calm down Mrs. Hudson. Moriarty's dead now."

Mrs. Hudson nodded at the pathologist. From the back, Paul called out, "He's dead? But you said-"

"Shh!"

The viewers looked back at the two visible members of the trio. Park and Phil had shushed Paul over something that very much sounded like 'Moriarty is alive!'.

Phil popped hear head into the room, calling out with a nervous chuckle, "She hasn't watched the series. She just knows what we tell her."

Noticing that she was getting alarmed looks, Phil clarified, "There was an unresolved cliffhanger at the end of season 3. Well, enough of that. Keep watching!"

**LESTRADE: What the hell are we supposed to make of that? An estate agent's photo and the bloody Greenwich pips!**

**SHERLOCK _(gazing thoughtfully into the distance)_: It's a warning.**

**JOHN: A warning?**

**SHERLOCK: Some secret societies used to send dried melon seeds, orange pips, things like that. Five pips. They're warning us it's gonna happen again.**

Mrs. Hudson made another noise in the back of her throat that sounded a bit like a dying pelican. Molly squeezed the hand of the distressed landlady.

**_(He briefly looks down at the photo again, then brandishes the phone at the others as he starts to leave the office.)_**

**SHERLOCK: And I've seen this place before.**

**JOHN _(following him)_: H-hang on. _What's_ gonna happen again?**

**SHERLOCK _(turning back and raising his hands dramatically)_: _Boom!_**

Irene smirked and glanced over at Mycroft, sending a silent message.

_He's such a Drama Queen._

**_(He heads off with John behind him. Lestrade grabs his coat and hurries after them.)_**

**BAKER STREET. A taxi pulls up outside 221 and Sherlock, John and Lestrade get out. Sherlock unlocks the front door and leads the way inside, bypassing the stairs and heading along the corridor towards Mrs Hudson's front door. Just as he reaches it he stops and turns to the left where there is another door which must lead to a basement flat. Numbers and letters stuck on the door read, "221c". Sherlock turns his head and calls out loudly towards his landlady's front door.**

**SHERLOCK: _Mrs Hudson!_**

**Shortly afterwards, Mrs Hudson opens the front door of 221A and hands Sherlock a set of keys. He has been examining the padlock attached to the other door and now takes the keys and begins to unlock it.**

**MRS HUDSON: You had a look, didn't you, Sherlock, when you first came to see about your flat.  
SHERLOCK _(looking closely at the door's keyhole)_: The door's been opened recently.**

**MRS HUDSON: No, can't be. That's the only key.**

**_(Pulling the padlock off, Sherlock selects another key and puts it into the keyhole.)_**

**MRS HUDSON: I can't get anyone interested in this flat. It's the damp, I expect. That's the curse of basements.**

**_(Sherlock turns the key and pulls the door open. He immediately goes inside and John and Lestrade follow, taking little or no notice of Mrs H as she continues rambling on.)_**

**MRS HUDSON: I had a place once when I was first married. Black mould all up the walls ...**

**_(She trails to a halt as Lestrade closes the door behind him. She turns and heads back into her own flat.)_**

Molly and Mary looked shocked by their behavior.

"John," Mary scolded.

Molly waved her hand at the screen, "From Sherlock, I'd expect the rudeness. But you too?"

John cowered a little, "Sorry."

Lestrade covered up his guilt with logic. Crossing his arms, he pointed out, "Sorry, but we were a little busy chasing down a _bomber!_"

Paul warned, "You're digging yourself into a hole!"

Molly and Mary called out, perfectly in sync, "Apologize!"

Lestrade sank into the cusions of the couch, "Sorry."

**MRS HUDSON _(exasperated)_: Oh! Men!**

**_Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Sherlock slowly pushes open the door to the living room and walks inside, followed by the other two. The room looks exactly as it did in the photograph on the phone with one exception: there is a pair of trainers placed neatly in the middle of the floor, their toes pointed towards the door. John stops and looks at them before stating the bleedin' obvious._**

**JOHN: Shoes.**

"No, duh, Sher-" Paul was cut off by Park's hand, which clamped itself over her mouth.

**_(Sherlock starts to walk towards them but John holds out a cautionary hand towards him.)_**

**JOHN: He's a bomber, remember.**

**_(Sherlock stops for a moment, then continues slowly towards the trainers. He crouches down, then puts his hands on the floor and leans forward. Lowering his body down he moves closer to the shoes and, just as his nose is almost touching them, a phone rings. Sherlock jumps, closes his eyes momentarily and then stands up, pulls off his glove and takes the pink iPhone from his coat pocket and looks at the caller I.D. It reads, _"NUMBER BLOCKED"_. He pauses for a second, then answers the phone.)_**

**SHERLOCK _(softly)_: Hello?**

**_(A female voice draws in a shaky breath before speaking tearfully.)_**

**WOMAN's VOICE: H-hello ... sexy.**

"I'm torn between laughing and cursing right now," Sally commented.

When the others gave her a strange look, she clarified, "'Sexy'? Plus, we know that she's fine in the end." They had turned back to the screen when they heard a large bang. The viewers glanced towards the doorway.

Paul had smacked her head against the wall in exasperation. She turned to look at them and said miserably, "Spoiler Alert!"

Park was stiffling her laughter.

From the projection booth, Phil was cracking up.

**_(John and Lestrade exchange a puzzled look as the woman sobs.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Who's this?**

**WOMAN's VOICE _(tearfully)_: I've ... sent you ... a little puzzle ... just to say hi.**

**SHERLOCK: Who's talking? Why are you crying?**

**WOMAN's VOICE _(shakily and full of tears)_: I-I'm not ... crying ... I'm typing ...**

**_(We now see that the woman on the other end of the line is sitting in the driver's seat of a car holding a phone to her ear with one shaking hand and holding a pager in the other hand. Her face is covered with tears and she looks terrified as she reads from the pager.)_**

"Oh, Go-" Molly cupped her hands over her mouth in horror. Sally looked about as far from laughter as possible and the others looked queasy. They were seeing what had really been at stake during the the 'game'.

**WOMAN: ... and this ... stupid ... b**** ... is reading it out.**

"That poor woman..." Irene mumbled. Despite her life being constantly on the line, she knew all too well that not everyone could live that way.

**_(She sobs again. Sherlock gazes into the distance thoughtfully.)_**

**SHERLOCK _(softly)_: The curtain rises.**

**JOHN: What?**

**SHERLOCK: Nothing.**

**JOHN: No, what did you mean?**

**SHERLOCK _(half turning his head towards him)_: I've been expecting this for some time.**

"Than why does he do it?" Sally asked quietly. "I know he loves the thrill, but he's too selfish to-"

"On the contrary, Sergeant," Mycroft interrupted. The others turned to look at him, but the British Government didn't elaborate.

**WOMAN: Twelve hours to solve ... my puzzle, Sherlock ...**

**_(We now see that the car is in a car park. People are going about their everyday business, unaware that a large explosive device is strapped to the woman's chest. A red laser point travels over the device and her neck, suggesting that a sniper is aiming at her from some distance away.)_**

Molly and Mrs. Hudson, unused to hostage situations, looked a little sick.

**WOMAN: ... or I'm going ... to be ... so naughty.**

**_(The phone goes dead and the woman looks down at the bomb and the laser light, and sobs in despair.)_**

"I think that's a good stopping point for now."

Phil had joined her friends by the door.

* * *

**It's Mary! I felt like she had a right to view the life of her boyfriend's best friend.**

**Sorry again for the late update. I'm lazy and busy. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm not dead! I've come bearing another chapter.**

**I own nothing.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"I'm gonna sit with you guys during this part, " Phil marched over to where Molly sat next to Mrs. Hudson and sat on the floor at the pathologist's feet. Glancing up at Molly, Phil hesitantly asked, "You don't mind if I sit here, do you?"

Molly shook her head and Phil turned to face the screen, "I just don't like seeing people antagonize Molly. She doesn't deserve to be embarrassed."

Before anyone could respond, Phil fished a remote out of her pocket and resumed to movie.

**_Later, he is sitting at a bench looking into a microscope while, beside him, a computer screen shows that a scanner of some sort is running tests. John is wandering up and down on the other side of the bench._**

**JOHN: So, who d'you suppose it was?**

**_(A phone trills a text alert.)_**

**SHERLOCK(absently,_ not reacting to the alert)_: Hmm?**

**JOHN: The woman on the phone - The crying woman.**

**Sherlock: ****Oh, she doesn't matter. She's a hostage. No leads there.**

"He really doesn't have a heart," Anderson muttered.

Phil sighed from her place on the floor, "In some lines of work, it's easier to pretend you don't care about anyone who might get hurt. It doesn't do any good for the hostage if their savior is too distracted to help them."

Lestrade glanced at the teenager curiously, "What do you mean?"

Phil turned around and looked up at the DI, "Think about it. If you're super worried about not being able to help the hostage, you can't focus your whole energy into saving them. A difficult puzzle needs absolute focus."

Phil turned around once again, leaving the others to ponder her words of wisdom. From the doorway, Paul leaned over to Park and whispered, "Dang, who knew Phil could be so deep?"

Park shrugged, "You know she's always been the smart one. Maybe she was reading some Hamlet earlier."

Paul grinned, "Or watching the X-files."

**JOHN(exasperated): For God's sake, I wasn't thinking about leads. **

**SHERLOCK: You're not going to be much use to her.**

"See?" Phil smirked. Park stood and walked over to where Phil sat. Sitting on the floor next to her friend, Park patted Phil's arm, "Yes, yes, you're so very smart. Now please shush."

**_(He glances across to the scanner as it continues throwing up "NO MATCH" results, then looks back into the microscope.)_**

**JOHN: Are-are they _trying_ to trace it, trace the call? **

**SHERLOCK: The bomber's too smart for that.**

"Of course they are," Paul murmured.

"Unless you have a real comment or a question, please shut your cake-hole," Park smiled obsequiously.

Mrs. Hudson eyed the three strange girls, "Why did you tell Phil to quiet down more politely than you told Paul to?"

Park grabbed onto Phil's arm, ignoring her protest, and exclaimed in a falsely scandalized tone, "Phil is too sweet and innocent to have such fowl language spoken to her!"

Paul groaned, "Oh brother!"

**_(The same phone as before trills another text alert.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Pass me my phone.**

**_(John looks around the room.)_**

**JOHN: Where is it? **

**SHERLOCK: Jacket.**

"Gay," Sally coughed into her fist as John rolled his eyes at his former flatmate.

"No, he's just lazy."

**_(John straightens up slowly, his entire body going rigid in disbelief and his eyes broadcasting the message "I am going to kill him." Turning to his right, he marches stiffly around the table, slams one hand onto Sherlock's shoulder and roughly pulls his jacket open with the other as he starts to rummage in his inside pocket.)_**

**SHERLOCK _(angrily, still not looking up)_: _Careful._**

"You're the one who asked me to get your phone!" John exclaimed indignantly.

Mary patted his arm soothingly, "There, there. Just remember that you're talking to a Telly."

John pouted, "I know that..."

**_(John just about holds onto his temper and pulls the phone out and looks at it.)_**

**JOHN: Text from your brother. **

**SHERLOCK: Delete it.**

**JOHN: Delete it?**

**SHERLOCK: Missile plans are out of the country now. Nothing we can do about it. **

**_(John looks at the message again, which reads:_**

**RE: BRUCE-PARTINGTON PLANS **  
**Any progress on Andrew **  
**West's death? **  
**Mycroft **

**JOHN: Well, Mycroft thinks there is. He's texted you eight times. Must be important. ****_(Sherlock raises his head in exasperation.)_ **

**SHERLOCK: Then why didn't he cancel his dental appointment? **

**JOHN _(sighing tiredly)_: His what? **

**SHERLOCK: Mycroft never texts if he can talk. Look, Andrew West stole the missile plans, tried to sell them, got his head smashed in for his pains. End of story. The only mystery is this: why is my brother so determined to bore me when somebody else is being so delightfully interesting? **

**_(He looks back into the microscope again.)_ **

**JOHN _(switching the phone off)_: Try and remember there's a woman here who might die. **

**SHERLOCK: What for? **

**_(He looks up at John.)_ **

**SHERLOCK: This hospital's full of people dying, Doctor. Why don't you go and cry by _their_bedside and see what good it does them? **

**_(John looks away in disbelief. Unmoved, Sherlock looks back into the microscope but just then the computer beeps a result.)_ **

**SHERLOCK _(delighted)_: Ah! **

**_(He looks across to the screen which is flashing "SEARCH COMPLETE." At the same moment Molly Hooper comes in the door.)_ **

**MOLLY: Any luck?**

Molly frowned at her onscreen self, feeling insecure and silly. Her crush on Sherlock was obvious.

**SHERLOCK _(triumphantly)_: Oh, yes!**

**_(As Molly comes over to look at the screen, a man in his thirties, wearing slacks and a T-shirt, comes in the door and then stops apologetically.)_ **

**JIM: Oh, sorry. I didn't ... **

**MOLLY: Jim! Hi! **

**_(Jim makes as if to leave the room but Molly stops him.)_ **

**MOLLY: Come in! Come in! **

**_(Sherlock looks over at her briefly, running his eyes down her body and apparently making an instant deduction, then looks back into the microscope. Molly makes introductions as Jim closes the door and walks over to her.)_ **

**MOLLY: Jim, this is Sherlock Holmes. **

**JIM: Ah! **

**_(John turns towards them, and Molly looks at him blankly.)_ **

**MOLLY _(apologetically)_: And, uh ... sorry. **

**JOHN: John Watson. Hi. **

**JIM: Hi. **

**_(His eyes are locked on Sherlock's back as he gazes at him admiringly. He speaks in a casual London accent.)_ **

Molly covered up her embarrassment well, casually remarking, "Well, the gay facade is pretty obvious from this point of view."

**JIM: So _you're_ Sherlock Holmes. Molly's told me all about you. You on one of your cases? **  
**_(He walks closer to Sherlock, forcing John to step out of his way.)_ **

**MOLLY: Jim works in I.T. upstairs. That's how we met. Office romance. **

**_(She and Jim giggle. Sherlock glances briefly round at Jim before returning to look into the 'scope.)_ **

**SHERLOCK: Gay.**

"No, just a physco killer," Paul said casually.

Molly let out a little whimper and Phil patted the pathologist's knee.

**_(Molly's smile fades.)_ **

**MOLLY: Sorry, what? **

**_(Sherlock raises his head as he realises what he's just done.)_ **

**SHERLOCK: Nothing. _(He smiles round falsely at Jim.)_ Um, hey. **

**JIM _(smiling admiringly at him)_: Hey. **

**_(Lowering his hand, he knocks a metal dish off the edge of the table and scrambles to pick it up.)_ **

**JIM _(giggling nervously)_: Sorry! Sorry! **

**_(John turns away, face-palming, while Sherlock looks irritated. Jim puts the dish back on the table and then scratches his arm as he wanders back towards Molly.)_ **

"Nice face-palm, Dr. Watson," Paul smiled.

**JIM: Well, I'd better be off. I'll see you at The Fox, 'bout six-ish? **

**MOLLY: Yeah! **

**_(He stops beside her, putting a hand on her back, and looks back towards Sherlock.)_ **

**JIM: 'Bye. **

**MOLLY _(softly)_: 'Bye. **

**JIM _(to Sherlock)_: It was nice to meet you. **

**_(Sherlock doesn't respond, continuing to look into his microscope while Jim gazes wistfully at him. John breaks the embarrassing silence.)_**

**JOHN: You too. **

**_(Jim blinks at him, looking awkward, then turns and leaves the room. Molly waits until the door closes then turns to Sherlock.)_ **

**MOLLY: What d'you mean, gay? We're together.**

The same thought ran through everyone's heads. Poor Molly.

**SHERLOCK _(looking across to her)_: And domestic bliss must suit you, Molly. You've put on three pounds since I last saw you.**

Everyone the room looked shocked.

"Never ever insult a woman's size!" Lestrade cried.

Phil leaned over to Park and muttered, conveniently loud enough for Molly to hear, "You know, I wonder why Sherlock insists on ruining Molly's relationships?"

Park caught on immediately and nodded, "Do I detect a crush on our dear pathologist?"

Molly felt her face heat up.

**MOLLY: Two and a half.**

**SHERLOCK: Nuh, three. **

**JOHN: Sherlock ... **

**MOLLY _(angrily)_: He's _not_ gay. Why d'you have to spoil ...?**

"Maybe that's the point," Paul called out. She was still sitting by the doorway and her eyes shifted between the TV and the book that rested in her lap.

The room was silent as everyone digested the information. Sherlock and Molly...

Their eyes were diverted to the front where Park and Paul were hanging onto each other, giggling furiously.

"What?" Molly nervously demanded.

The two shared a look, then turned around and proclaimed in perfect harmony, "I ship Sherlolly!"

Molly did a very convincing impersonation of a tomato and buried her face in her hands.

** He's _not_.**

**SHERLOCK _(snorting)_: With that level of personal grooming? **

**JOHN: Because he puts a bit of product in his hair? _I_ put product in my hair. **

**SHERLOCK: You _wash_ your hair. There's a difference. No-no – tinted eyelashes; clear signs of taurine cream around the frown lines; those tired clubber's eyes. Then there's his underwear. **

**MOLLY: His _underwear_?**

Everyone watching had the same reaction.

**SHERLOCK: Visible above the waistline – _very_ visible; very particular brand. **

**_(He reaches for the metal dish.)_ **

**SHERLOCK: That, plus the _extremely_ suggestive fact that he just left his number under this dish here ... _(he shows her the card that Jim left under the dish)_ ... and I'd say you'd better break it off now and save yourself the pain. **

**_(Molly stares at him for a moment, then turns and runs out of the room. Sherlock looks startled by her reaction.)_ **

"Wait, he wasn't just doing that to be mean?" Anderson asked.

No one had an answer for him.

**JOHN: Charming. Well done. **

**SHERLOCK: Just saving her time. Isn't that kinder?**

"He honestly thought that was kinder?" Sally gaped.

Park nodded at her, "Some people can't understand or anticipate the effects of their actions. Or reactions of others for that matter."

Phil suddenly found her lap very interesting.

**JOHN: "Kinder"? No, no, Sherlock. _That_ wasn't kind. **

**_(Looking fed up with the conversation, Sherlock puts down Jim's card and then reaches over and moves one of the trainers on the desk closer to John.)_ **

**SHERLOCK: Go on, then.**

**JOHN: Mmm? **

**SHERLOCK: You know what I do. Off you go. **

**_(He sits back and folds his arms expectantly. John makes incoherent negative noises and looks at his watch.)_ **

**JOHN: No. **

**SHERLOCK: Go on. **

**JOHN: I'm not gonna stand here so you can humiliate me while I try and disseminate ... **

**SHERLOCK _(interrupting)_: An outside eye, a second opinion. It's very useful to me. **

**JOHN: Yeah, right(!) **

**SHERLOCK: _Really. _**

**JOHN: Fine. **

**_(Clearing his throat, he picks up the shoe and looks at it and its partner lying on the table.)_ **

**JOHN: I dunno – they're just a pair of shoes. _(He immediately corrects himself.)_ Trainers.**

**SHERLOCK: Good. **

**_(He looks away and picks up his phone as John continues looking at the trainers.)_ **

**JOHN: Umm ... they're in good nick. I'd say they were pretty new ... except the sole has been well-worn, so the owner must have had them for a while. **

**_(Sherlock, who had started to look frustrated when John said they were new, breathes out a silent sigh of relief that his friend isn't that stupid.)_ **

**JOHN: Uh, they're very eighties – probably one of those retro designs. **

**SHERLOCK: You're on _sparkling_ form. What else? **

**JOHN: Well, they're quite big, so a man's. **

**SHERLOCK: But ...**

**JOHN _(looking at the insides of both shoes and the blue smudges at the sides)_: But there's traces of a name inside in felt-tip. Adults don't write their names inside their shoes, so these belonged to a kid. **

**SHERLOCK _(looking at him proudly)_: Excellent. What else? **

**JOHN: Uh ... _(he looks again at the shoe he's holding, then puts it down)_ ... that's it. **

**SHERLOCK: That's it? **

**_(John nods.)_ **

**JOHN: How did I do? **

**SHERLOCK: Well, John; _really_ well. **

**_(He pauses momentarily.)_ **

**SHERLOCK: I mean, you missed almost everything of importance, but, um, you know ... **  
**_(He lifts his hand and slowly rotates his wrist to turn his palm up, his expression full of sarcasm. With a look of frustration, John picks up the trainer and gives it to him. Sherlock looks at it closely as he goes into deduction mode.)_ **

**SHERLOCK: The owner loved these. Scrubbed them clean, whitened them where they got discoloured. Changed the laces three ... no, _four_ times.**

"And he knows this, how?" Anderson aimed a dead-pan stare at the screen.

**_(John puts his hands on the desk and lowers his head in despair.)_ **

"Aww, don't worry John. Not everyone can be a super-genius. Well, except for Phil over there," Paul grinned at her two companions.

Phil crossed her arms and slouched as everyone turned to stare at the so-called super-genius, "One time I get highest GPA and you won't leave it alone. You weren't even there when I got the award!"

"No, because I told her," Park sheepishly waved at the other teen.

Phil looked shocked, "Traitor!"

The others watched in amusement.

**SHERLOCK: Even so, there are traces of his flaky skin where his fingers have come into contact with them, so he suffered from eczema. Shoes are well-worn, more so on the inside, which means the owner had weak arches. British-made, twenty years old. **

**JOHN _(straightening up)_: Twenty years? **

**SHERLOCK: They're not retro – they're original. **

**_(He shows John an image on his phone.)_ **

**SHERLOCK: Limited edition: two blue stripes, nineteen eighty-nine. **

**JOHN: But there's still mud on them. They look _new._**

**SHERLOCK _(looking at the trainer thoughtfully)_: Someone's kept them that way. Quite a bit of mud caked on the soles. Analysis shows it's from Sussex, with London mud overlaying it. **

**JOHN: How do you know? **

**SHERLOCK _(nodding towards the computer screen)_: Pollen. Clear as a map reference to me. **

**_(Two dots are flashing on a map of Britain, one around the borders of East and West Sussex and the other to the south-east of London.)_ **

**SHERLOCK: South of the river, too. So, the kid who owned these trainers came to London from Sussex twenty years ago and left them behind. **

**JOHN: So what happened to him? **

**SHERLOCK: Something bad. **

**_(He looks up at John.)_ **

**SHERLOCK: He _loved_ those shoes, remember. He'd never leave them filthy. Wouldn't leave them go unless he had to. So: a child with big feet gets ... **

**_(He trails off, staring ahead of himself.)_ **

**SHERLOCK _(softly)_: Oh.**

"Drama Queen," John muttered.

**_(John looks across the lab, trying to see what his friend is looking at.)_ **

**JOHN: What? **

**SHERLOCK _(softly)_: Carl Powers. **

**JOHN: Sorry, who? **

**SHERLOCK _(still staring into the distance)_: Carl Powers, John.**

"This is sounding more and more like a rom-com," Lestrade nodded solemnly at the screen.

**JOHN: What is it? **

**SHERLOCK: It's where I began.**

"And CLIFFHANGER!" Phil yelled as she paused the film. The guests covered their ears and winced at the girl's loud voice.

"Dam it Phil!" Paul pouted at her friend.

Park and Phil turned to look at Paul and grinned triumphantly, "We knew that you'll like this show!"

Paul blushed lightly, "It was just getting to the good part."

Park leaned over and nudged Phil, "We'll make a Holmie out of her soon!"

* * *

**And scene! Sorry for the late update, but I'm working on a theatre production. Fiddler on the Roof y'all!**

**As for the smart comment, I'm not complimenting myself. We have labeled ourselves as the smart one, the clumsy one and the random one. But overall, we're nerds.**

**Also, the philosophical comment is totally OOC of me. I'd be more likely to throw popcorn at Anderson and tell him to shush. **

**Note to Paul should she read this: Sorry for the hating. I'll have Park apologize to you later.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm back from drama camp! Yes, I was at a drama camp. Sue me.**

**Anyway, here's another chapter for y'all.**

**I own nothing.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Phil stood up, stretching her arms as she did so, "Well, now that _that's_ over, I'm heading back to the booth."

She casually strolled out the door, leaving Park and Paul to sit in their original spots by the door. The paused film resumed.

_**Later, the boys are in the back of a taxi.**_

**SHERLOCK: Nineteen eighty-nine a young kid - champion swimmer - came up from Brighton for a school sports tournament; drowned in the pool. Tragic accident.**

"All things considered, it was probably a murder," Lestrade commented wearily.

**_(He shows John the front page of a newspaper on his phone.)_**

**SHERLOCK: You wouldn't remember it. Why should you?**

**JOHN: But _you_ remember.**

**SHERLOCK: Yes.**

**JOHN: Something fishy about it?**

"Obviously," Park drawled in a perfect imitation of Sherlock. The others stifled laughter.

**SHERLOCK: Nobody thought so – nobody except me. I was only a kid myself. I read about it in the papers.**

**JOHN: Started young, didn't you?**

Everyone turned to look at Mycroft, possible searching for comfirmation. The British Government simply raised an eyebrow, causing the others to look away.

**SHERLOCK: The boy, Carl Powers, had some kind of fit in the water, but by the time they got him out it was too late. But there was something wrong; something I couldn't get out of my head.**

**JOHN: What?**

**SHERLOCK: His shoes.**

"Naturally, he doesn't elaborate," Irene muttered as she crossed her arms and drew her legs back into her chair.

**JOHN: What about them?**

**SHERLOCK: They weren't there. I made a fuss; I tried to get the police interested, but nobody seemed to think it was important. He'd left all the rest of his clothes in his locker, but there was no sign of his shoes ...**

**_(He leans down and picks up a bag containing the trainers.)_**

**SHERLOCK: ... until now.**

"And he found this suspicious, how exactly?" Sally's eyebrows drew together on her forehead.

_**SIX HOURS TO GO. As Sherlock sits in the back of the taxi holding the pink phone and lost in thought, the woman who rang him earlier sits in her car crying in despair.**_

The room went completely silent at the ominous reminder of what was at stake.

**221B. Sherlock has shut himself in the kitchen and is sitting at the table with the trainers nearby – still in the bag – while he looks through photographs and printouts of newspaper reports of Carl Powers' death from 1989. In the living room, on the other side of the closed doors, John is pacing back and forth. He stops and slides open one of the doors.**

**JOHN: Can I help?**

**_(Sherlock doesn't react to him at all.)_**

"That is how almost everyone is reacted to when they try to interrupt our reading," Paul said matter-of-a-factly.

Park nodded solemnly, "Or when Phil's doing something clever. She becomes a robot."

"Hey!" Phil protested. Her voice was slightly muffled by the wall that separated the projection room from where their guests were sitting.

"You guys do clever stuff too! Well, Park's a bit too clumsy, but overall, you guys do the exact same thing."

"You can't deny it, Park!" Paul laughed at Park's indignant cry.

John felt a knot at the bottom of his stomach as he remembered such conversations with his old flatmate.

**JOHN: I want to help. There's only five hours left.**

**_(His phone sounds a text alert. He gets the phone from his trouser pocket and looks at the message. It reads:_**

**Any developments?  
Mycroft Holmes**

"Developments?" Sally asked, confused.

John quickly explained, "We were supposed to be solving a murder at the same time as Tha Great Game."

"You were working on two cases?" Lestrade asked incredulously.

"That's not the way I would put it. More solving one while slacking on the other," John said sheepishly.

**JOHN: It's your brother. He's texting _me_ now.**

**_(He frowns.)_**

**JOHN: How does he know my number?**

**SHERLOCK _(thoughtfully)_: Must be a root canal.**

Anderson squinted at the screen as if searching for answers in the image, "How'd he know that?"

Mycroft smirked from the back of the room. No one was able to answer the question.

**_(Putting his phone away, John comes into the kitchen.)_**

**JOHN: Look, he did say 'national importance.'**

**_(Sherlock snorts, not looking up from his research.)_**

**SHERLOCK: How quaint.**

"Yes, because helping your country is so unimportant," Sally sneered.

"Well, the UK is the America of Europe," Park commented.

Anderson looked offended, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Take it as you like, but here's a clue," Paul smirked. She shared a glance with Park before the two chorused, "Tumblr!"

**JOHN: What is?**

**SHERLOCK: _You_ are. Queen and country.**

**JOHN _(sternly)_: You can't just ignore it.**

**SHERLOCK: I'm not ignoring it. Putting my best man onto it right now.**

"Aww, you're his best man, John!" Park squealed.

Noticing John's uncomfortable expression, Phil called out from the projection room, "Remember that when you get married!"

Mary squeezed her boyfriend's hand as John blushed, his thoughts turning to the engagement rings he had been looking at earlier. Molly smiled a bit at the pair, wistfully fantasizing about her own wedding one day.

**JOHN: Right. Good.**

**_(He folds his arms and nods in satisfaction, then looks at Sherlock in puzzlement.)_**

**JOHN: Who's that?**

There was a loud smacking sound as three seperate hands came in contact with their respective faces.

**_Some time later John, wearing a jacket and tie, is sitting in a chair opposite a desk in a large, rather intimidating office. He looks anxiously at his watch as if he has been waiting there for some time. The door opens and Mycroft walks in, reading a report._**

"Ah, and the Iceman enters," Irene smirked at the screen.

**MYCROFT: John. How nice. I was hoping you wouldn't be long.**

**_(John politely stands up as Mycroft walks across to the desk, still looking at the report.)_**

**MYCROFT: How can I help you?**

**_(He walks straight past John and puts the report down on the desk, imperiously waving a hand in John's direction to signify that he can sit down again.)_**

**JOHN: Thank you. _(He sits.)_ Um, well, I was wanting to ... um, your brother sent me to collect more facts about the stolen plans, the missile plans.**

**_(Mycroft looks over his shoulder and smiles at him.)_**

**MYCROFT: Did he?**

**JOHN: Yes.**

**_(He smiles back a little nervously as Mycroft turns towards him and leans back against the desk.)_**

**JOHN: He's investigating now.**

**_(Mycroft put his hand to the right side of his mouth as if he is in pain.)_**

**JOHN: He's, er, investigating away.**

"You're a terrible liar, John," Mary fondly smiled at her boyfriend.

"It wasn't a total lie,"John defended himself weakly.

**_(Lowering his hand again, Mycroft smiles as if he doesn't believe a word of it.)_**

**JOHN: Um, I just wondered what else you can tell me about the dead man.**

**MYCROFT: Uh, twenty-seven; a clerk at Vauxhall Cross – er, MI6. He was involved in the Bruce-Partington Programme in a minor capacity. Security checks A-OK; no known terrorist affiliations or sympathies ...**

**_(Cutaway flashback to Andrew West sitting on a sofa with a young blonde woman. She snuggles into his shoulder, unaware that he is looking very worried.)_**

"Where did you get all of these flashbacks from, girls?" Mrs. Hudson asked politely.

Phil called out from the projection room, "I have my sources."

Park leaned over to Paul," Yeah, BBC."

Paul snickered.

Mycroft, having overheard, made a mental note to look into this BBC when this display of the past had finished.

**MYCROFT: Last seen by his fiancée at ten thirty yesterday evening.**

**_(In the flashback, Westie is now standing at the window looking out into the night.)_**

**WESTIE: Lucy, love, I've gotta go out. I've gotta see someone.**

**_(He hurries out of the room. Lucy calls after him.)_**

**LUCY: Westie!**

**_(Brief flashback of Westie's dead body lying beside the railway track.)_**

Molly and Irene were, surprisingly, the only ones who didnt grimace at the image of the dead body.

**JOHN: Right. He was found at Battersea, yes? So he got on the train.**

**MYCROFT: No.**

**JOHN: What?**

**MYCROFT: He had an Oyster card ...**

**_(Grimacing, he raises his hand to his mouth again. John frowns as he begins to realise that Sherlock may have been right about Mycroft having had a root canal filling to one of his teeth.)_**

"So you did get a root canal," Mary noted as the on-screen Mycroft massaged his jaw. The others once again wondered how Sherlock knew that Mycroft had gotten a root canal in particular.

**MYCROFT: ... but it hadn't been used.**

**JOHN: Must have bought a ticket.**

**MYCROFT _(lowering his hand)_: There was no ticket on the body.**

**JOHN: Then ...**

**MYCROFT: Then how did he end up with a bashed-in brain on the tracks at Battersea? That is the question – the one I was rather hoping Sherlock would provide an answer to. How's he getting on?**

**JOHN: He-he's fine, yes. Oh, and-and _it_ is going ... _very_ well. It's, um, you know – he's completely focussed on it.**

**_(He grins at Mycroft unconvincingly.)_**

"Mm-hm, sure," Irene smiled in amusement.

**THREE HOURS TO GO. Darkness has fallen and the woman still sits in the car and sobs.**

The room once again fell silent as the episode was once again paused.

* * *

**So, that's all for me. I know it's a short chapter, but there it is.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	7. Chapter 7

**And I'm back.**

**I own nothing.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

The show resumed.

_**221B. Sherlock has moved to the side table in the kitchen and is looking into his microscope. Mrs Hudson comes in through the kitchen door with a tray containing a couple of mugs. As she puts them on the kitchen table, Sherlock looks up.**_

**SHERLOCK: Poison.**

**MRS HUDSON: What are you going on about?**

_**(Sherlock slams his hands down on the side table.)**_

All of the viewers jumped.

**SHERLOCK: Clostridium botulinum!**

"Um, what?" Lestrade asked blankly.

"Oh good, I'm not the only one," Paul nodded at the DI.

"It's a motile bacterium that can produce the neurotoxin botulinum, which can produce severe flaccid paralytic disease in humans and animals. It is the most potent toxin known to mankind," Phil recited.

The others turned and eyed the window that separated Phil from them. Park and Paul sighed and rolled their eyes.

"Why am I not surprised?" Park huffed.

"Uh, does she do this often?" Sally questioned.

"Only when I have an encyclopedia nearby!" Phil exclaimed brightly. As the viewers turned around to continue watching, Phil silently thanked Wikipedia.

_**(Mrs Hudson cringes and flees the kitchen. Sherlock looks round at John as he comes in from the living room.)**_

**SHERLOCK: It's one of the deadliest poisons on the planet!**

No one commented.

_**(John looks at him blankly.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Carl Powers!**

**JOHN: Oh, wait, are you saying he was murdered?**

_**(Sherlock stands up and walks over to where he has hung up the laces from the trainers.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Remember the shoelaces?**

**JOHN: Mmm?**

**SHERLOCK: The boy suffered from eczema. It'd be the easiest thing in the world to introduce the poison into his medication. Two hours later he comes up to London, the poison takes effect, paralyses the muscles and he drowns.**

Paul subtly pulled out a small journal and jotted down some notes.

Mycroft caught sight of the journal, "Do we want to know why you're writing that down?"

Park noticed Paul's actions, "Oh, she's just taking notes. We're planning on taking over the world."

The viewers exchanged alarmed glances before turning towards the TV once again.

**JOHN: What - How - how come the autopsy didn't pick that up?**

**SHERLOCK: It's virtually undetectable. Nobody would have been looking for it.**

"How convenient. The mist potent toxin known to mankind is almost impossible to pick up on," Anderson complained.

Molly looked at him funny, "I'm the one who has to do the autopsies."

_**(He has walked around the table to where his computer notebook is lying. The page is open at the Forum of his own website, The Science of Deduction, and he now begins to type into the message box:**_

**FOUND. Pair of trainers belonging to Carl Powers (1978-1989).**

Molly hung her head, "He was only eleven."

**SHERLOCK _(straightening up to point to the laces)_: But there were still tiny traces of it left inside the trainers from where he put the cream on his feet.**

_**(He bends down and continues to type:**_

**Botulinum toxin still present. Apply 221b Baker St.**

_**He sends the message and straightens up.)**_

**SHERLOCK: That's why they had to go.**

**JOHN: So how do we let the bomber know ...**

**SHERLOCK: Get his attention ...**

**JOHN: Mm-hm.**

**SHERLOCK _(looking at his watch)_: ... stop the clock.**

**JOHN: The killer kept the shoes all these years.**

**SHERLOCK: Yes. _(He looks at John.)_ Meaning ...**

**JOHN: He's our bomber.**

"That's a comforting thought," Sally muttered.

_**(The pink phone rings on the side table. Sherlock hurries over to it and switches it on. In the car park, the woman sobs in anguish as she reads out the latest message from the pager.)**_

**WOMAN: Well done, you. Come and get me.**

**SHERLOCK _(loudly and clearly)_: Where _are_ you? Tell us where you are.**

_**Some time later the woman stares anxiously out of the car window as members of a bomb disposal team, dressed in protective padded clothing, make their way towards the car.**_

Despite knowing that she would be fine, everyone sighed in relief.

**MORNING. NEW SCOTLAND YARD. The boys are in Lestrade's office, Sherlock standing at the window with his hands raised in front of his mouth and his fingers tapping together. John is sitting opposite Lestrade at his desk.**

**LESTRADE: She lives in Cornwall. Two men broke in wearing masks, forced her to drive to the car park and decked her out in enough explosives to take down a house.**

Mrs. Hudson pressed her fingers to her lips, "Oh that poor young lady!"

_**(He looks up at Sherlock as he walks over to the desk.)**_

**LESTRADE: Told her to phone _you_. She had to read out from this pager.**

"I don't appreciate your tone there, Detective Inspector," Mrs. Hudson gave Lestrade a cross look.

He held up his hands, "I'm merely pointing out that the bomber chose him specifically.

_**(He puts the pager onto the desk in front of John, who picks it up to look at it.)**_

**SHERLOCK: And if she deviated by one word, the sniper would set her off.**

**JOHN: Or if you hadn't solved the case.**

**SHERLOCK _(walking back to the window and speaking softly, as if to himself)_: Oh. Elegant.**

_**(John raises his head and sighs in exasperation.)**_

**JOHN: "Elegant"?**

**LESTRADE: But what was the point? Why would anyone _do_ this?**

**SHERLOCK: Oh – I can't be the only person in the world that gets bored.**

"Well that's a little alarming," Irene noted, her hand reaching up to massage her throat.

_**(He flashes back in his mind to shooting holes in the wall a couple of days ago. Just then the pink phone beeps a message alert. John turns round to him as he activates the phone.)**_

**VOICE ALERT: You have one new message.**

_**(As Sherlock walks towards Lestrade's desk, the phone sounds the Greenwich pips again, but this time there are three short pips and one long one.)**_

**JOHN: Four pips.**

**SHERLOCK: First test passed, it would seem. Here's the second.**

"Are all of these going to be so exciting?" Mrs. Hudson pressed a hand to her heart. Molly ran a soothing hand up and down her back.

"Knowing my brother?" Mycroft remarked.

"Yes," everyone chorused.

_**(He shows a new photograph to the others. It's a close-up of a car with its driver's door open and the number plate clearly visible. John and Lestrade get up to take a closer look, and outside in the main office a phone rings.)**_

**SHERLOCK: It's abandoned, wouldn't you say?**

**LESTRADE: I'll see if it's been reported.**

_**(As he picks up his phone, Sergeant Donovan comes to the office holding another phone.)**_

**DONOVAN: Freak, it's for you.**

"Why do you hate Sherlock so much anyway?" Paul asked.

Everyone else tensed, already knowing the answer.

"Um, ah, you see-"

"She's sleeping with Anderson," Park bluntly said.

"Okay, but how...Wait, isn't he married? Oh, Sherlock figured it out didn't he?" Paul nodded at the realization.

"Ding ding ding! Ten points to Paul!" Park and Phil cried out simultaneously.

_**(Sherlock walks over to the door and takes the phone from her. John sits down again and Sherlock walks out into the general office and raises the phone to his ear.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Hello?**

_**(The frightened voice of a young man comes over the phone.)**_

**YOUNG MAN: It's okay that you've gone to the police.**

**SHERLOCK: Who is this? Is this you again?**

**YOUNG MAN: But don't rely on them.**

_**(In Lestrade's office, John looks round and sits up taller when he sees the look on Sherlock's face.)**_

**YOUNG MAN: Clever you, guessing about Carl Powers.**

_**(We get a glimpse of the young man standing somewhere in a busy street, reading from a pager.)**_

**YOUNG MAN: I never liked him.**

_**(Sherlock looks round sharply at this. We see that the man is wearing a zipped-up jacket with wires sticking out from the bottom. The man fights his tears as he continues to read.)**_

**YOUNG MAN: Carl laughed at me, so I stopped him laughing.**

"It looks like our bomber was a victim of bullying," Mary noted.

"Just like Sherlock," John added sadly. Mary squeezed his hand as Anderson and Sally looked a little uncomfortable.

_**(John comes out of the office and walks closer to Sherlock, looking at him in concern.)**_

**SHERLOCK _(into phone)_: And you've stolen another voice, I presume.**

**YOUNG MAN: This is about you and me.**

_**(A bus noisily drives past him.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Who _are_ you?**

_**(More traffic goes past.)**_

**SHERLOCK: What's that noise?**

_**(The man looks down at the pager, still struggling not to weep.)**_

**YOUNG MAN: The sounds of life, Sherlock.**

_**(Finally we get a clear view of where the man is. He is standing on a large traffic island at Piccadilly Circus. Pedestrians are walking past him, taking no notice of a distressed tearful man, as is the wont of Londoners)**_

Everyone tensed up once again at the reminder of what was at stake.

Molly squeezed Mrs. Hudson's hand as the landlady whimpered.

**YOUNG MAN _(reading from the pager)_: But don't worry ...**

_**(He looks down in tearful horror when he sees a red laser point on his jacket.)**_

John reached up and massaged his shoulder, his mind turning to the pool.

**YOUNG MAN: ... I can soon fix that.**

_**(He cries briefly, then continues to read the pager message.)**_

**YOUNG MAN: You solved my last puzzle in nine hours. This time you have eight.**

"Of course you have eight," Anderson muttered.

_**(In the office, Lestrade is talking into the phone.)**_

**LESTRADE: Okay ... Great.**

_**(Putting the phone down, he heads towards the door.)**_

**LESTRADE: We've found it.**

_**(Sherlock's phone has gone dead. He turns and follows Lestrade.)**_

_**Close to the river, the police have arrived at a large open space where the car was found. Forensics officers in protective clothing are working on the car as Lestrade leads Sherlock towards it. John and Sally Donovan are walking along behind them.**_

**LESTRADE _(consulting some notes)_: The car was hired yesterday morning by an Ian Monkford. Banker of some kind; City boy. Paid in cash.**

_**(Sherlock looks closely as they pass a woman talking with a female police officer.)**_

**LESTRADE: Told his wife he was going away on a business trip, but he never arrived.**

_**(As Sherlock and Lestrade reach the passenger door of the car, Sally turns to John.)**_

**DONOVAN: You're still hanging round him.**

**JOHN: Yeah, well ...**

**DONOVAN: Opposites attract, I suppose.**

"See? Even Sally thinks you're a couple!" Park exclaimed.

John looked exasperated.

"Calm down," Paul wrapped a condescending arm around her friend. Looking up at the others, she quietly explained, "She's a major Johnlock shipper."

From the projector room, Phil snickered, "So's Mrs Hudson."

Mary stifled a laugh, "Johnlock?"

"Basically, she puts Sherlock and John together in a relationship," Paul explained.

John groaned and slumped back against the couch.

"If it makes you feel better," Phil called from the projection room. "I ship you and Mary!"

Mary smiled and leaned her head against John's shoulder.

**JOHN: No, we're not ...**

**DONOVAN: You should get yourself a hobby – stamps, maybe. Model trains. Safer.**

Phil and Park busted into laughter. Everyone, including Paul turned and gave them incredelous looks.

"Imagine Sherlock playing with trains," Park wheezed.

The others joined in on the laughter. Even Irene and Mycroft chuckled.

_**(She goes to stand beside Lestrade while Sherlock leans into the car to look at a large amount of blood smeared over the island between the two front seats. He opens the glove box.)**_

**LESTRADE: Before you ask, yes, it's Monkford's blood. The DNA checks out.**

_**(Sherlock finds a business card in the glove box and takes it out. Closing the lid he straightens up.)**_

**SHERLOCK: No body.**

**DONOVAN: Not yet.**

**SHERLOCK _(to Lestrade)_: Get a sample sent to the lab.**

_**(Lestrade nods and Sherlock walks away. Lestrade turns to Donovan and looks at her pointedly. She stares back at him indignantly but he holds the look and she grunts in exasperation and stomps away. Sherlock walks over to the woman who was talking with the police officer.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Mrs Monkford?**

_**(She turns to him tearfully.)**_

**MRS MONKFORD: Yes.**

_**(She looks at him and John, and sighs.)**_

**MRS MONKFORD: Sorry, but I've already spoken with two policemen.**

**JOHN: No, we're not from the police; we're ...**

_**(Sherlock holds out his hand to her, his voice suddenly tearful and tremulous.)**_

"Wait, is he-" Paul gaped at the screen.

**SHERLOCK: Sherlock Holmes. Very old friend of your husband's. We, um ...**

_**(As she shakes his hand, he looks down as if fighting back his tears.)**_

**SHERLOCK: ... we grew up together.**

Paul blinked op at the screen, "Wow, he's a good actor."

"I didn't see that one coming," Mary smiled.

**MRS MONKFORD: I'm sorry, who? I don't think he ever mentioned you.**

**SHERLOCK _(still tearful)_: Oh, he _must_ have done. This is ... this is horrible, isn't it?**

_**(John looks away, trying somewhat unsuccessfully to keep his face neutral.)**_

**SHERLOCK: I mean, I just can't believe it. I only saw him the other day. Same old Ian – not a care in the world.**

_**(He smiles tearfully at her.)**_

**MRS MONKFORD: Sorry, but my husband has been depressed for months. Who _are_ you?**

_**(By now Sherlock has tears running down his cheeks.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Really strange that he hired a car. Why would he do that? It's a bit suspicious, isn't it?**

**MRS MONKFORD: No, it isn't. He forgot to renew the tax on the car, that's all.**

**SHERLOCK: Oh, well, that was Ian! That was Ian all over!**

**MRS MONKFORD: No it wasn't.**

_**(Instantly Sherlock's fake persona drops and he looks at her intensely.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Wasn't it? Interesting.**

"How can he switch back and forth so easily?" Sally sounded slightly impressed.

_**(He turns and walks away. She glares after him as he heads for the police tape with John following. The female police office goes over to her.)**_

**MRS MONKFORD: Who was I talking to?**

**JOHN _(to Sherlock as they duck under the tape)_: Why did you lie to her?**

**SHERLOCK _(taking his gloves off to wipe the tears from under his eyes)_: People don't like telling you things, but they love to contradict you. Past tense, did you notice?**

**JOHN: Sorry, what?**

**SHERLOCK: I referred to her husband in the past tense. She joined in. Bit premature – they've only just found the car.**

**JOHN: You think she murdered her husband?**

**SHERLOCK: Definitely not. That's not a mistake a murderer would make.**

**JOHN: I see. No, I don't. What am I seeing?**

_**(As they walk past Donovan, she turns and calls out to John.)**_

**DONOVAN: Fishing! Try fishing!**

Once again, everyone chuckled at the mental image.

_**(John turns around and gives her an exasperated nod before following Sherlock again.)**_

**JOHN: Where now?**

**SHERLOCK: Janus Cars.**

_**(He hands the business card to John.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Just found this in the glove compartment.**

_**SIX HOURS TO GO.**  
_

All laughter died at the reminder that a man had that long to live.

On that somber note, Phil strolled in, "That's it for today y'all!"

* * *

**Another chapter done. A really long chapter.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Another chapter for you! **

**I own nothing.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Phil sat down by Park and Paul, having grown tired of going back and forth between the projection room and the main theatre. She made herself at home and pressed the play button on the remote.

The episode resumed.

**_JANUS CARS. Sherlock and John are in the office of the car hire company. John sits at the other side of the desk to the owner, taking notes while Sherlock looks out into the forecourt._**

**EWERT: Can't see how I can help you gentlemen.**

**JOHN: Mr Monkford hired the car from you yesterday.**

**EWERT: Yeah. Lovely motor. Mazda RX-8. Wouldn't mind one of them myself!**

**_(Sherlock walks over to the other side of the desk so that he's standing beside Ewert, then points into the forecourt.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Is that one?**

**_(Ewert turns his head to look and Sherlock immediately looks closely at the side of the man's neck.)_**

"Um, what's he looking at?" Anderson questioned.

"His tan," Park replied. Anderson had no idea what she was talking about.

**EWERT: No, they're all Jags. Yeah, I can see you're not a car man, eh?**

**_(Sherlock straightens up as Ewert looks round and smiles at John.)_**

**SHERLOCK: But, er, surely _you_ can afford one – a Mazda, I mean?**

**EWERT: Yeah, it's a fair point. But you know how it is: it's like working in a sweetshop. Once you start picking at the liquorice allsorts, when does it all stop, eh?**

"Mmm, candy," the three girls in the back chorused. They earned quite a few odd looks from their guests (plus a smirk from Mary.)

**_(He starts scratching near the top of his left arm with his right hand. Sherlock looks at him for a moment, then turns away and heads around the room towards the other side of the desk.)_**

**JOHN: But you didn't know Mr Monkford?**

**EWERT: No, he was just a client. Came in here and hired one of my cars. No idea what happened to him. Poor sod.**

**_(Sherlock has reached the other side of the desk and stops.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Nice holiday, Mr Ewert?**

**EWERT: Eh?**

**SHERLOCK: You've been away, haven't you?**

**EWERT: Oh, the-the ...**

**_(He gestures towards his tanned face.)_**

"Oh," Anderson muttered to himself.

**EWERT: No, it's, er, sunbeds, I'm afraid, yeah. Too busy to get away. My wife would love it, though – bit of sun.**

**SHERLOCK: Have you got any change for the cigarette machine?**

"I thought he said he didn't smoke?" Mary turned to John.

"Just wait for it," he assured her.

**EWERT: What?**

**SHERLOCK: Well, I noticed one on the way in and I haven't got any change.**

**_(He offers Ewert a bank note.)_**

**SHERLOCK: I'm _gasping_.**

**EWERT: Um, well ...**

**_(He reaches into his trouser pocket and takes out his wallet.)_**

**EWERT: Hmm.**

**_(He opens the wallet and looks inside.)_**

**EWERT: No, sorry.**

**SHERLOCK: Oh well. Thank you very much for your time, Mr Ewert.**

**_(He turns and heads for the door.)_**

**SHERLOCK: You've been _very_ helpful. Come on, John.**

**_(They leave the office and head back across the forecourt.)_**

**JOHN: I-I've got change if you still want to, uh ...**

**SHERLOCK _(patting his upper left arm)_: Nicotine patches, remember? I'm doing well.**

**JOHN: So what was _that_ all about?**

**SHERLOCK: I needed to look inside his wallet.**

**JOHN: Why?**

**SHERLOCK: Mr Ewert's a liar.**

"You can never get a straightforward answer from him," Lestrade remarked fondly. Mrs. Hudson nodded, a reminiscent smile on her face.

**_ST BART'S LAB. Sherlock has a large drop of blood in a shallow glass dish. Putting the dish onto the desk, he reaches into a small bag of equipment, opens a bottle and siphons out some liquid with a small dropper. Bending down to the dish, he squeezes out a drop of liquid onto the blood, which starts to fizz. As Sherlock straightens up, the pink phone rings. The Caller I.D. reads _"BLOCKED"_. He picks up the phone and answers it._**

**SHERLOCK: Hello?**

**YOUNG MAN _(tearfully reading from the pager)_: The clue's in the name. Janus Cars.**

**SHERLOCK: Why would you be giving me a clue?**

**YOUNG MAN: Why does anyone do anything? Because I'm bored. We were _made_ for each other, Sherlock.**

"Well," Anderson announced, "I've come to the conclusion that the Fr-, uh, Sherlock is not a phycopath."

The others gazed at him warily. There was a long pause. Then...

"Alright, I'll bite. How'd you come to _that_ conclusion, Anderson?" Irene asked. Her tone resembled that of a sarcastic teenager.

"Sherlock shoots at walls when he's bored. Whoever's behind this kidnaps people, blows things up and threatens civilians when he's bored," Anderson said.

Sally sank back into the couch, "Yes, we realize that."

No one commented, and they turned back to the TV.

**SHERLOCK _(softly)_: Then talk to me in your own voice.**

There was silence as many of the guests registered Sherlock's attempt to negotiate with that madman. He really did care about the hostages.

"Told you so," Phil's voice softly drifted from the back of the room.

**YOUNG MAN _(tearfully)_: Patience.**

**_(The line goes dead. Sherlock lowers the phone and looks thoughtfully into the distance for a while. Finally he looks down at the fizzing liquid in the dish, then picks up the dish and looks at it more closely. He begins to smile.)_**

**THREE HOURS TO GO.**

**POLICE CAR POUND. Sherlock, John and Lestrade are standing around Monkford's car.**

**SHERLOCK: How much blood was on that seat, would you say?**

**LESTRADE: How much? About a pint.**

**SHERLOCK: Not 'about.' _Exactly_ a pint. That was their first mistake. The blood's definitely Ian Monkford's but it's been frozen.**

**LESTRADE: Frozen?**

"So, it's from a blood bank," Mary commented.

Park nodded, impressed, "Very good. Sherlock would appreciate your smarticles."

Mary grinned triumphantly at her host/captor. As the episode resumed, Anderson and Sally exchanged a glance. Smarticles?

**SHERLOCK: There are clear signs. I think Ian Monkford gave a pint of his blood some time ago and that's what they spread on the seats.**

**JOHN: _Who_ did?**

**SHERLOCK: Janus Cars. The clue's in the name.**

**JOHN: The god with two faces.**

**SHERLOCK: Exactly.**

**JOHN: Mmm.**

**SHERLOCK _(to Lestrade)_: They provide a very special service. If you've got any kind of a problem – money troubles, bad marriage, whatever – Janus Cars will help you disappear. Ian Monkford was up to his eyes in some kind of trouble – financial, at a guess; he's a banker. Couldn't see a way out. But if he were to vanish, if the car he hired was found abandoned with his blood all over the driver's seat ...**

**JOHN: So where is he?**

**SHERLOCK _(closing the car door)_: Colombia.**

"I must say I was not expecting that," Lestrade chuckled to himself.

**LESTRADE: _Colombia_?!**

**SHERLOCK: Mr Ewert of Janus Cars had a twenty thousand Colombian peso note in his wallet ...**

**_(Flashback to Sherlock seeing the note in the wallet.)_**

**SHERLOCK: ... Quite a bit of change, too. He told us he hadn't been abroad recently, but when I asked him about the cars, I could see his tan line clearly.**

**_(Flashback to Sherlock pointing out the window and Ewert turning his head to look while Sherlock sees that his tan finishes at his neck.)_**

**SHERLOCK: No-one wears a shirt on a sunbed. That, plus his arm.**

**LESTRADE: His arm?**

**SHERLOCK: Kept scratching it. Obviously irritating him, and bleeding.**

**_(Flashback to a close-up of Ewert scratching his upper arm, and a drop of blood on his shirt sleeve.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Why? Because he'd recently had a booster jab. Hep-B, probably. Difficult to tell at that distance. Conclusion: he'd just come back from settling Ian Monkford into his new life in Colombia. Mrs Monkford cashes in the life insurance and she splits it with Janus Cars.**

"Ugh, I hate shots," Paul muttered.

"Amen to that," Phil remarked.

**JOHN: M-_Mrs_ Monkford.**

**SHERLOCK: Oh yes. She's in on it too.**

"Of course she is. Why wouldn't she be?" Sally mumbled.

**_(Lestrade lowers his head with a look of amazement on his face.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Now go and arrest them, Inspector. That's what you do best.**

**_(He turns to John.)_**

**SHERLOCK: _We_ need to let our friendly bomber know that the case is solved.**

**_(He turns and leads John away. Lestrade watches them, still reeling at all the information that he has just been given. Sherlock clenches his fists triumphantly at his sides as he goes.)_**

**SHERLOCK: I am on _fire!_**

**221B. Sitting at the living room table in their coats – presumably because the heating still can't be turned on nor the fire lit after the 'gas leak' (and because the windows are still broken and boarded up) – Sherlock types a new message onto**

**The Science of Deduction_:_**

**Congratulations to Ian Monkford on his relocation to Colombia.**

**_He sends the message. A few seconds later another 'blocked' phone call comes in on the pink phone lying on the table beside the computer. Sherlock switches the phone on.)_**

**YOUNG MAN _(tearfully, over speaker)_: He says you can come and fetch me. Help. Help me, please.**

"That poor man," Molly looked down at her hands, which sat entwined in her lap. She then shuddered. That could've been her.

She took a breath. She was not going to have a breakdown.

_**(Shortly afterwards, police officers are running towards the young man from all directions. In 221B, Sherlock looks up at John and smiles.)**_

* * *

**And done.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Another update?! So quickly?! **

**I'm on a role. Don't get your hopes up.**

**Warning: An emotional Molly is in this chapter. Phil the Squirrel (that's me) comforts her. The reason why is because I could be Molly's much younger sister or even her daughter, we're so much alike.**

**No joke, if Sherlolly had a kid, there is a high probability that I would be that child.**

**So yeah, she's like family.**

**I own nothing.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**_MORNING. The boys are sitting at a table in a café (not Speedy's). John is tucking into a cooked breakfast and has a mug of tea in front of him while Sherlock is drumming his fingers impatiently on the table waiting for the pink phone – which is lying on the table – to ring._**

**SHERLOCK: Feeling better?**

**JOHN: Mmm. You realise we've hardly stopped for breath since this thing started?**

**_(He eats another forkful of food, then looks thoughtful.)_**

"John?" Mrs. Hudson pursed her lips.

"Yes Mrs. H?"

"By the time this case was solved, when was the last time Sherlock ate?"

John thought for a moment. Then his eyes widened a little and he mumbled something.

"What was that, John dear?" Mrs. Hudson narrowed her eyes at the doctor. Something told her that she wasn't going to like the answer.

"Ahem, about a week?"

At the back of the room, Park and Paul exchanged a glance and counted down on their fingers.

3...2...1...

"WHAT?!"

Everyone covered their ears as the hydrogen bomb that was Mrs. Hudson detonated. Phil lost her grip on the remote.

"He's always like that..."

"I don't bloody care! Have you seen how thin he is? You, as a doctor-"

After fumbling and grasping at air, Phil caught the remote and resumed the movie with a loud exclaimation of, "Moving on!"

**JOHN: Has it occurred to you ...?**

**SHERLOCK: Probably.**

**JOHN: No – has it occurred to you that the bomber's playing a game with you? The envelope; breaking into the other flat; the dead kid's shoes – it's all meant for you.**

**SHERLOCK _(smiling slightly)_: Yes, I know.**

**JOHN: Is it him, then? Moriarty?**

**SHERLOCK: Perhaps.**

**_(The pink phone beeps a message alert. Sherlock switches it on and it sounds two short Greenwich pips followed by the longer tone, and a photograph of a smiling middle-aged woman appears on the screen.)_**

**SHERLOCK: That could be anybody.**

The captive audience (except Mycroft) gave the on screen Sherlock a deadpan stare. Connie Prince was always on magazine covers, and her show was featured as a topic on many news channels. It was pretty difficult to _not_ know who she was.

**JOHN: Well, it _could_ be, yeah. Lucky for you, I've been more than a little unemployed.**

**SHERLOCK: How d'you mean?**

**JOHN: Lucky for you, Mrs Hudson and I watch far too much telly.**

"You think you watch too much TV?" Park looked incredelous. Her life as a Fangirl was based on TV and Netflix and anime and YouTube...

**_(He stands up and walks over to the counter. Smiling at the woman behind the counter, he picks up a remote control and switches on the small television hung on the wall. He switches channels a couple of times until he finds what he wants. The woman from the photograph is on the screen, partway through her make-over show. She is gesturing to someone just offscreen.)_**

**CONNIE: Thank you, Tyra! Doesn't she look lovely, everybody, _now_?**

**_(The pink phone rings.)_**

**CONNIE: Anyway, speaking of silk purses and sows' ears ...**

**_(Sherlock picks up the phone and answers it.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Hello?**

**_(An old woman speaks tremulously in a Yorkshire accent.)_**

**OLD WOMAN: This one ... is a bit ... defective. Sorry.**

The room was dead silent. Even Irene was out of snarky or suggestive comments. Was that-?

**_(We see a close-up of the woman, who is wearing an earpiece.)_**

**OLD WOMAN: She's blind. This is ... a funny one.**

**_(John walks back over to the table. At the old woman's location, the camera pulls out to show that she too is strapped to a bomb. Wearing a warm dressing gown and sitting up in bed she is holding a phone to the ear which doesn't have the earpiece in and she is staring blankly ahead of herself as she narrates the words being spoken through the earpiece.)_**

"He strapped a bomb to a defenseless old woman?" Molly asked with a quivering voice. The others turned to look at her and she remembered.

Oh yeah, they probably don't recall that I was dating that mad bomber.

She squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her arms tightly around her middle.

"Calm down, Molly. I'm sure she's alright in the end," Mary smiled weakly at the pathologist. Molly's eyes remained shut.

"Um, actually," Lestrade stammered. Mary's face went pale and John pulled her into his arms.

Molly felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up. Phil sat on the arm of the couch, her eyes full of concern.

With that, Molly burst into tears.

Without another word, Phil scooted over so that she was pressed between Molly and the arm of the couch and wrapped her arms around the quivering pathologist.

"That could've been me," she sobbed. The others watched the scene in shock (or in Mycroft's case, awkwardness) as the usually optimistic and bright pathologist broke down.

"If Sherlock hadn't told me about Jim, I wouldn't have broken up with him, and I could've been the one strapped to the bomb!"

Molly's sobs eventually faded into whimpers and her tears subsided altogether.

"Shh, it's okay to cry," Phil said as she pulled away from Molly.

She nodded as Phil started the episode again, suddenly aware of the eyes that lingered on her. Molly sniffled a little, hoping that the dim lighting hid her flushed face. It was embarrassing to have a break down, especially in front of some people she didn't know all that well.

Mrs. Hudson put an arm around Molly's shoulders, feeling a motherly instinct for this nice girl. Molly felt infinitely better.

**OLD WOMAN: I'll give you ... twelve hours.**

**_(Sherlock looks at John as he sits down again.)_**

**SHERLOCK _(into phone)_: Why are you doing this?**

**OLD WOMAN: I like ... to watch you ... dance.**

**_( As she finishes speaking, she gasps and sobs in terror. Even though she cannot see it, there is still a laser point from a sniper's rifle running over her body. Sherlock lowers the phone and shakes his head at John, then drops the phone onto the table as he turns to look at the TV.)_**

**CONNIE _(on the TV)_: ... and I see you're back to your bad habits.**

**_(As the footage continues, a voiceover replaces her voice and a news headline at the bottom of the screen reads:_ Make-over Queen Connie Prince dead at 48_.)_**

**NEWS READER: ... continuing into the sudden death of the popular TV personality, Connie Prince. Miss Prince, famous for her make-over programmes, was found dead two days ago by her brother in the house they shared in Hampstead ...**

**_BART'S MORGUE. Connie Prince's body has been laid out on a table in the morgue, with a sheet covering her and leaving only her arms and upper chest bare. Lestrade leads the boys into the room, reading from a file as he goes._**

**LESTRADE: Connie Prince, fifty-four. She had one of those make-over shows on the telly. Did you see it?**

**SHERLOCK: No.**

**LESTRADE: Very popular. She was going places.**

**SHERLOCK: Not any more. So: dead two days. According to one of her staff, Raoul de Santos, she cut her hand on a rusty nail in the garden. Nasty wound.**

**_(He and John look at the deep cut in the webbing between her right thumb and index finger.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Tetanus bacteria enters the bloodstream – good night Vienna.**

"I hate Tetanus," Paul shuddered.

John turned and glanced at her curiously, "You've had it?"

"No, but I've had the shots for it," Paul cringed. Phil and Park nodded in agreement.

"They make your arm all numb," Park massaged her arm right below the shoulder, as if she'd just gotten the shot.

**JOHN: I suppose.**

**SHERLOCK: Something's wrong with this picture.**

**LESTRADE: Eh?**

**SHERLOCK: Can't be as simple as it seems, otherwise the bomber wouldn't be directing us towards it. Something's wrong.**

**_(He narrows his eyes as he looks down at the body, then bends closer to look along Connie's right arm as he takes his magnifier from his pocket. There are several scratches on her upper arm which look like claw marks. He moves up to her face and notices some tiny pinpricks on her forehead just above her nose. He looks at them through the magnifier.)_**

"Wait, is that from Botox?" Paul turned to her friends.

The two other girls gave her impressed looks. "Wow, how'd you know?"

Paul shrugged, "The Internet is a weird place."

**SHERLOCK: John?**

**JOHN: Mmm.**

**SHERLOCK: The cut on her hand: it's deep; would have bled a lot, right?**

**JOHN: Yeah.**

**SHERLOCK: But the wound's clean – _very_ clean, and fresh.**

**_(He looks up, his eyes flickering while he thinks it through, then straightens up and clicks the magnifier closed.)_**

**SHERLOCK: How long would the bacteria have been incubating inside her?**

**JOHN: Eight, ten days.**

**_(Sherlock quirks a one-sided grin and turns to John, waiting for him to put it all together. It doesn't take him long.)_**

**JOHN: The cut was made later.**

**LESTRADE: After she was dead?**

**SHERLOCK: Must have been. The only question is, how did the tetanus enter the dead woman's system?**

**_(John looks along the body thoughtfully.)_**

**SHERLOCK: You want to help, right?**

**JOHN: Of course.**

**SHERLOCK: Connie Prince's background – family history, everything. Give me data.**

**JOHN: Right.**

**_(He turns and leaves the room. Sherlock looks down at Connie's body one more time, then turns and heads towards the door.)_**

**LESTRADE: There's something else that we haven't thought of.**

**SHERLOCK _(casually)_: Is there?**

**LESTRADE: Yes. Why is he _doing_ this, the bomber?**

**_(Sherlock stops, keeping his back to the inspector and looking a little anxious.)_**

The viewers paused for a moment at the clear anxiety on Sherlock's face. You just didn't see Sherlock display a negative emotion like that.

**LESTRADE: If this woman's death was suspicious, why point it out?**

**SHERLOCK _(nonchalantly, over his shoulder)_: Good Samaritan.**

Park snatched the remote from Phil and paused the show, "What does that expression refer to, anyway?"

Phil sighed and crossed her arms, "Are we really doing this right now?"

Park nodded curtly, "Yes we are. I'm curious."

Phil exchanged a glance with Paul, then shrugged, "If you insist."

After spending five minutes explaining the story, Phil snatched back the remote and unpaused the movie. It was only then when she noticed their guests giving them exasperated and annoyed looks.

**_(He tries to move away but Lestrade persists.)_**

**LESTRADE: ... who press-gangs suicide bombers?**

**SHERLOCK: _Bad_ Samaritan.**

"Oh, har har har," Paul dead panned.

**LESTRADE: I'm – I'm serious, Sherlock. Listen: I'm cutting you slack here; I'm ****trusting you – but out there somewhere, some poor bastard's covered in Semtex and is just waiting for you to solve the puzzle. So just tell me: what are we dealing with?**

**_(Sherlock looks away thoughtfully, then smiles with delight.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Something new.**

**_EIGHT HOURS TO GO. The old woman sits quietly in her bed while the sniper – who must really love his job, considering that the woman can't see what he's doing – continues to keep his rifle's laser trained on her._**

"Um, she can't see the laser, so why is the sniper still aiming at her?" Anderson questioned, hoping to lighten the dark mood.

No one had the heart to answer the clueless man.

**SEVERAL HOURS LATER. 221B. The wall behind the sofa is covered with paperwork: maps, photographs of Connie Prince – both when she was alive and pictures taken in the morgue – photos of Carl Powers, press cuttings and various sheets of paper with notes scribbled on them. Pieces of string are pinned between some of the exhibits, linking them together. Sherlock is pacing back and forth in front of the sofa while Lestrade stands nearby.**

**SHERLOCK _(under his breath)_: Connection, connection, connection. There _must_ be a connection.**

**_(He stops and gestures towards various spots on the display on the wall as he speaks.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Carl Powers, killed twenty years ago. The bomber _knew_ him; _admitted_ that he knew him. The bomber's iPhone was in stationery from the Czech Republic. First hostage from Cornwall; the second from London; the third from Yorkshire, judging by her accent. What's he doing – working his way round the world? Showing off?**

**_(The pink phone rings. He takes it from his pocket and sees that the Caller I.D. again reads _"NUMBER BLOCKED"_. He answers, and the old woman begins to narrate what's being said into her earpiece.)_**

**OLD WOMAN: You're enjoying this, aren't you? Joining the ... dots.**

**_(She sobs.)_**

**OLD WOMAN: Three hours: boom ... boom.**

Molly felt her mouth go dry and tensed up once again.

**_(She cries in terror, then the phone goes dead. Sherlock looks at Lestrade for a moment, then switches the phone off, puts it back in his pocket and raises his hands to his mouth in the prayer position, concentrating on the wall in front of him.)_**

* * *

**Until next time...**

**Thanks for reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Just kidding! Here's _another_ chapter. But I'm serious this time. This is all you're getting out of me for a while.**

**I own nothing!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Phil leaned over to Park and Paul and whispered to them. She finished speaking and they nodded. Phil walked to the front of the room as her companions dashed into the hall.

"We've decided to take a little snack break. You guys are welcome to join us. Park and Paul are grabbing us some food."

Mycroft leapt from his seat, a curse flying from his lips, "I have to get back to work. I have lots to do and-"

"Yes, yes, we get it, Mr. High and Mighty. You have work to do. There's nothing to worry about. We stopped time for y'all," Phil remarked casually.

Everyone froze, then gaped at Phil, "What?!"

"Calm down, everything will go back to normal when we're down with you," Paul assured their shocked audience. She and Park had somehow slipped into the room without detection.

Both girls pushed little trollies, one with a large tea set and the other loaded with snacks.

Park picked up a cup of tea and gestured to the food, "Dig in!"

After everyone had settled down again, refreshments in hand and questions bouncing around in their heads, Phil unpaused the show.

**_KENNY PRINCE'S HOUSE. In a beautifully and elegantly decorated house, a hairless cat meows as it wanders about on a sofa. Kenny Prince, a man in his late fifties who is wearing a very fancy purple shirt which'll never rival Sherlock's, comes into the room. Behind him the much younger and far more dishy 'houseboy' Raoul stops at the doorway and gestures to John to go in._**

**KENNY: We're devastated. Of _course_ we are.**

**_(As John walks into the living room, Kenny reaches the other side of the room and turns back, propping his arm on the mantelpiece. Looking a little uncomfortable, John sits down on the sofa beside the cat.)_**

**RAOUL: Can I get you anything, sir?**

**JOHN: Er, no. No, thanks.**

**_(Raoul looks across the room to Kenny, who smiles at him. Raoul returns the smile, then turns and leaves the room.)_**

"Well, he seems like a nice young man," Mrs. Hudson commented.

In the back, Park and Phil choked on their tea. The others glanced back at them before turning back. John and Lestrade let their gaze linger a little longer, Lestrade with a smile and John with a wink.

**KENNY: Raoul is my rock. I don't think I could have managed.**

**_(He looks down sadly.)_**

**KENNY: We didn't always see eye to eye, but my sister was very dear to me.**

**_(The cat has climbed onto John's lap and meows loudly in protest when he picks it up and puts it down beside him.)_**

"Not a cat person, eh?" Paul scowled playfully at John.

He shrugged, "I guess I just like dogs better."

**JOHN: And – and to the public, Mr Prince.**

**KENNY: Oh, she was adored. I've seen her take girls who looked like the back end of Routemasters and turn them into princesses.**

**_(John looks down in frustration as the cat climbs into his lap again.)_**

**KENNY: Still, it's a relief in a way to know that she's beyond this veil of tears.**

**_(John is nervously holding the cat as it purrs contentedly on his lap.)_**

**JOHN _(awkwardly)_: Absolutely.**

"Uncomfortable much?" Anderson snickered at John's misfortune.

**_221B. Mrs Hudson has joined Sherlock and Lestrade and is standing between them as they face the paper-covered wall. Sherlock is talking into his own phone._**

**SHERLOCK: Great. ... Thank you. Thanks again. **

**_(He turns and walks towards the fireplace, still talking into the phone. Mrs Hudson looks sadly at a photo of Connie on the wall.)_**

**MRS HUDSON: It was a real shame. I liked her. She taught you how to do your colours.**

**_(Lestrade – who had turned and was watching Sherlock [well, who wouldn't?] on the other side of the room – now turns back to Mrs H.)_**

**LESTRADE: Colours?**

**MRS HUDSON: You know ... _(she gestures down at her clothes)_ ... what goes best with what. I should never wear cerise, apparently. Drains me.**

**_(Sherlock has just finished his conversation and walks back to join the others.)_**

**LESTRADE: Who was that?**

**SHERLOCK _(staring at the wall)_: Home Office.**

"Considering that his brother is the British government, I really shouldn't be surprised," Lestrade shook his head at the screen.

In the back, Paul was clutching at her sides, "It was so casual too."

**LESTRADE _(surprised)_: Home Office?**

**SHERLOCK: Well, Home Secretary, actually. Owes me a favour.**

**MRS HUDSON _(looking at a photo on the wall of Connie holding an award which presumably she won for her show)_: She was a pretty girl but she messed about with herself too much. They _all_ do these days.**

**_(She looks round at Lestrade.)_**

**MRS HUDSON: People can hardly move their faces. It's silly, isn't it?!**

**_(She giggles as Lestrade smiles politely. She turns to Sherlock.)_**

John cast a funny look at his former landlady, "Mrs. Hudson, did you just giggle?"

Mrs. Hudson refused to even spare John a glance, knowing that if she did, she wouldn't be able to hold back her laughter.

**MRS HUDSON: Did you ever see her show?**

**SHERLOCK: Not until now.**

**_(He turns and picks up his computer notebook and opens it. A video starts to play, showing footage of an episode of Connie's make-over show. She is talking to her brother in the TV studio.)_**

**CONNIE: You look _pasty_, love!**

**KENNY: Ah. _(He looks at the audience.)_ Rained every day but one!**

**MRS HUDSON: That's the brother. No love lost there, if you can believe the papers.**

**SHERLOCK: So I gather. I've just been having a very fruitful chat with people who loved this show. Fan sites – indispensible for gossip.**

In the back of the room, Park nodded, "Trust me we know."

**CONNIE _(gesturing to the clothes which her brother is wearing)_: There's really only one thing we can do with that ensemble, don't you think, girls?**

**_(She stands up and chaps her hands rhythmically as she begins to chant.)_**

**CONNIE: Off! Off! Off! Off!**

**_(The audience takes up the chant and the clapping. By the third, "Off!" Connie is rhythmically beating her hands quite hard onto Kenny's back as he drops his jacket to the floor and starts to unbutton his shirt. He grimaces in pain but then turns a false smile towards the audience.)_**

"That poor man," Molly muttered. She had often been ridiculed in school for her unfashionable, and often childish, appearance.

**KENNY PRINCE'S HOUSE. Kenny is still standing by the fireplace, looking thoughtfully at a framed photograph of Connie holding her TV award. John is sitting on the sofa looking down at his notebook as he talks.**

**JOHN: It's more common than people think. The tetanus is in the soil, people cut themselves on rose bushes, garden forks, that sort of thing. If left un...**

**_(He looks up in surprise as Kenny – who has walked across the room unnoticed – now plonks heavily down onto the sofa beside him and stares at him intensely.)_**

"I never want another man to look at me like that again," John shuddered.

"It's official. John's not gay," Anderson looked uncomfortably at the interaction Kenny had initiated.

The others, including Mary, snickered at John's misfortune onscreen.

**JOHN: ...treated ...**

**KENNY: I don't know what I'm going to _do_ now.**

**JOHN _(a little nervously)_: Right.**

**KENNY: I mean, she's left me this place, which is lovely ...**

**_(John looks around the living room with his eyes narrowed, apparently not agreeing with how 'lovely' the place might be.)_**

**KENNY: ... but it's not the same without her.**

**JOHN _(fidgeting as he tries to move further away from Kenny, but unable to do so)_: Th-that's why my paper wanted to get the, um, the full story straight from the horse's mouth. You sure it's not too soon.**

**KENNY: No.**

**JOHN: Right.**

**KENNY _(still staring intensely at him)_: You fire away.**

**_(The cat meows and trots across the carpet. Watching it, John reaches up to rub the side of his nose. As he pulls his hand away again he suddenly realises something and quickly raises his hand to his nose once more, pretending to rub it while he quietly sniffs at his fingers and looks towards the cat again. He smiles round nervously at Kenny.)_**

"What were you doing there, John?" Mrs. Hudson asked.

"I smelled antiseptic on the cat's paws," John explained.

Before Mrs. Hudson could ask John to explain himself, Phil leapt up, "That's all for now, folks!"

Park and Paul stifled laughter as everyone, except Mycroft, gave her a weird look.

* * *

**And that's all got now.**

**Also, here's a note for all of my peoples who are reading Reichenbach Misunderstandings.**

**Yes, I will update soon. There will be more Molly, more Claudette and Max, more mystery, and more Aspie!Sherlock in the upcoming chapters.**

**I'm sorry, but I can't delay the fall forever.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm back!**

**Please note that I got this transcript from Ariane Devere AKA Callie Sullivan.**

**Also, thank you to Paul the Turtle for uploading the cover image for me! For some reason, I wasn't able to upload it.**

**Sorry about the absence. As I stated in Reichenbach Misunderstandings, I've been getting ready for school and having frequent sensory overloads.**

**I own nothing.**

**Now, time for a long chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Phil unpaused the TV, then tossed some popcorn into her mouth.

**_221B. Mrs Hudson has left the room but Sherlock and Lestrade are st_****_ill standing in front of the wall display. Sherlock's phone rings and he fishes it out of his jacket pocket, looks quickly at the Caller I.D. and then holds the phone to his ear._**

**SHERLOCK: John.**

**JOHN _(over phone)_: Hi. Look, get over here quickly. I think I'm onto something. You'll need to pick up some stuff first. You got a pen?**

**SHERLOCK: I'll remember.**

**_Some time later, Kenny is primping in front of the mirror near the fireplace. Nearby, the entrance door shuts and, on the sofa, John puts down his teacup and starts to get up._**

**JOHN: That'll be him.**

**KENNY: What?**

**_(Raoul shows Sherlock into the room. Sherlock has a large bag over his shoulder and is carrying a long narrow case which is presumably designed to hold a photographic tripod. He walks over to Kenny.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Ah, Mr Prince, isn't it?**

**KENNY: Yes.**

**SHERLOCK: Very good to meet you.**

**KENNY: Yes; thank you.**

**_(They shake hands, Sherlock looking closely at Kenny's hand as he does so.)_**

"So observant," Paul muttered.

**SHERLOCK: So sorry to hear about ...**

**KENNY: Yes, yes, very kind.**

**JOHN: Shall we, er ...**

**_(Sherlock walks over to the sofa, puts the case down and starts rummaging in his bag. Kenny turns back to the mirror and fiddles with his hair again.)_**

"What a ham," Phil remarked.

Park frowned at her, "Who says that these days?"

"Velma Dinkley," Phil replied without missing a beat.

John and Mary glanced back at the pair. Those girls just got weirder and weirder.

**JOHN _(quietly)_: You were right. The bacteria got into her another way.**

**SHERLOCK _(smirking)_: Oh yes?**

"I hate that expression. It makes you feel like and idiot," Sally grumbled. Lestrade and Anderson nodded in agreement.

**JOHN: Yes.**

**KENNY _(turning towards them)_: Right. We all set?**

**JOHN: Um, yes.**

**_(He looks at Sherlock, who has taken a camera and flashgun out of his bag, and jerks his head towards Kenny.)_**

**JOHN: Can you ...?**

**_(As Kenny leans one arm on the mantelpiece and poses, Sherlock walks over to him and starts taking photographs of him.)_**

**KENNY: Not too close. I'm raw from crying.**

"Yes, and Anderson's Einstein," Park sarcastically remarked.

"Hey!" Anderson protested. John, Lestrade, Molly and Irene smirked into their fists. Mycroft kept a stoic expression, but internally agreed with Park's insult.

**_(The cat meows at Sherlock's feet. He looks down.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Oh, who's this?**

**KENNY: Sekhmet. Named after the Egyptian goddess.**

"Should've named her Bast. Sekhmet was a-" Park was cut off by Phil and Paul clamping their hands over her mouth.

"We agree with you, Park," Paul began condescendingly.

"But let's keep this as kid friendly as possible," Phil smiled obsequiously.

Park shoved her friends away, Scowling at them for good measure, "I was going to call her a maniac."

Paul and Phil exchanged a glance, "Sure..."

Their audience looked on in confusion. All except for Molly that is, who was silently fangirling over the Kane Chronicles reference.

**SHERLOCK: How nice(!) Was she Connie's?**

**KENNY: Yes.**

**_(John reaches down towards the cat but Kenny beats him to it, picking the cat up.)_**

**KENNY: Little present from yours truly.**

**_(Frustrated, John straightens up, then looks at his flatmate.)_**

**JOHN: Sherlock? Uh, light reading?**

**SHERLOCK: Oh, um ...**

**_(He lifts a second flashgun which he is holding in his other hand and holds it towards Kenny, firing it straight into his face.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Two point eight.**

**_(Kenny squinches his eyes shut against the light.)_**

**KENNY: Bloody hell. What do you think you're playing at?!**

**_(John immediately reaches out and rubs his fingers over one of the cat's front paws. Sherlock keeps firing the flashgun to keep Kenny's eyes closed.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Sorry.**

**_(John lifts his fingers away and sniffs them while Sherlock continues to fire the flashgun.)_**

**KENNY: You're like Laurel and bloody Hardy, you two. What's going on?**

"Alright, but who's who?" Mary smiled slyly.

"Sherlock's definitely Hardy in this case, so John's Laurel," Irene stated.

There was a moment of silence, and then...

"Are you calling me fat?!"

There was an echo of laughter as the TV was unpaused.

**JOHN: Actually, I think we've _got_ what we came for. Excuse us.**

**KENNY: What?**

**JOHN: Sherlock.**

**SHERLOCK: What?**

**JOHN _(grabbing the case from the sofa and heading for the door)_: We've got deadlines.**

**_(Sherlock follows after him.)_**

**KENNY: But you've not taken anything!**

**_(Ignoring him, the boys hurry out of the living room and let themselves out of the house. John chuckles delightedly as they walk down the drive and head towards the main road.)_**

**JOHN: Yes! Ooh, yes!**

**SHERLOCK _(smiling)_: You think it was the cat. It wasn't the cat.**

**JOHN: What? No, yes. Yeah, it _is_. It _must_ be. It's how they got the tetanus into her system. Its paws stink of disinfectant.**

**SHERLOCK _(still smiling)_: Lovely idea.**

**JOHN: No, he coated it onto the paws of her cat. It's a new pet – bound to be a bit jumpy around her. A scratch is almost inevitable. She wouldn't have ...**

**SHERLOCK _(interrupting)_: I thought of it the minute I saw the scratches on her arm, but it's too random and too clever for the brother.**

**_(John chuckles again.)_**

**JOHN: He murdered his sister for her money.**

**SHERLOCK: Did he?**

**JOHN _(looking at him)_: Didn't he?**

**SHERLOCK: No. It was revenge.**

**JOHN: Revenge? Who wanted revenge?**

**SHERLOCK: Raoul, the houseboy. Kenny Prince was the butt of his sister's jokes, week in, week out, a virtual bullying campaign. Finally he had enough; fell out with her badly. It's all on the website. She threatened to disinherit Kenny. Raoul had grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle, so ...**

**JOHN _(stopping and turning to him)_: No, wait, wait. Wait a second.**

**_(Sherlock stops as well.)_**

**JOHN: What about the disinfectant, then, on the cat's claws?**

**SHERLOCK: Raoul keeps a very clean house. You came through the kitchen door, saw the state of that floor, scrubbed to within an inch of its life. _You_ smell of disinfectant now. No, the cat doesn't come into it.**

**_(John pulls his jacket up to sniff at it as Sherlock looks towards the main road.)_**  
**SHERLOCK: Raoul's internet records do, though. Hope we can get a cab from here.**

**_(He walks off. John sighs in exasperation and a touch of disappointment that he hadn't solved the case for once. He glares towards his friend's back and then follows him.)_**

"Poor John. Shot down by Sherlock," Park gave the doctor a pitying look.

**ONE HOUR TO GO. Still sitting in her bed, the old woman cries in despair.**

**EVENING/NIGHT TIME. NEW SCOTLAND YARD. Sherlock walks into the main office brandishing a folder at Lestrade.**

**SHERLOCK: Raoul de Santos is your killer. Kenny Prince's houseboy. Second autopsy shows it wasn't tetanus that poisoned Connie Prince – it was botulinum toxin.**

Anderson scrunched up his eyebrows, "What?"

"Botox," Phil remarked.

**_(He puts the folder on the desk. As Lestrade reaches for it, Sherlock leans closer to him.)_**

**SHERLOCK: We've been here before. Carl Powers? Tut-tut. Our bomber's repeated himself.**

**_(Lestrade walks towards his office, Sherlock following. John stares at them in surprise.)_**

**LESTRADE: So how'd he do it?**

**SHERLOCK: Botox injection.**

"See?" Phil smiled, looking very pleased with herself.

Park and Paul rolled their eyes at her.

**_(Flashback to Sherlock examining the tiny pinpricks in Connie's forehead.)_**

**LESTRADE _(turning back to him)_: Botox?**

**SHERLOCK: Botox is a diluted form of botulinum. Among other things, Raoul de Santos was employed to give Connie her regular facial injections. My contact at the Home Office gave me the complete records of Raoul's internet purchases. _(He points to the folder.)_ He's been bulk ordering Botox for months.**

**_(Nearby, John has continued to stare at Sherlock, and his expression is becoming more angry.)_**

**SHERLOCK _(oblivious to this)_: Bided his time, then upped the strength to a fatal dose.**

**LESTRADE: You sure about this?**

**SHERLOCK: I'm sure.**

**LESTRADE: All right – my office.**

**_(He turns and walks towards his office. Sherlock starts to follow but John stops him.)_**

**JOHN: Hey, Sherlock. How long?**

**SHERLOCK: What?**

**JOHN: How long have you known?**

"How long what?" Anderson frowned.

Phil nodded, impressed, "Well done. You figured that out really quick."

Lestrade looked between John and Phil as the doctor smiled in gratitude. "Wait, what?"

"It took a moment, but I knew him quite well at that time," John explained casually.

Sally groaned and threw her hands up in frustration, "What are they talking about?!"

Phil and John shared a serious look, although their eyes glittered with mischief.

"Shall we explain?" Phil asked.

"Mmm, nah," John shook his head.

As the Yarders shared infuriated glares, the others, who knew what John was implying, chuckled at their misfortune.

**SHERLOCK: Well, this one was quite simple, actually, and like I said, the bomber repeated himself. _That_ was a mistake.**

**_(He tries to walk towards Lestrade's office but again John stops him.)_**

**JOHN: No, but Sherl... The hostage... the _old_ woman. She's been there all this time.**

**SHERLOCK _(leaning closer and looking at him intensely)_: I _knew_ I could save her. I also knew that the bomber had given us _twelve_ hours. I solved the case quickly; that gave me time to get on with other things. Don't you _see_? We're one up on him!**

There was a silence as the room internally debated whether to feel impressed by the strategy or appalled by the lack of concern.

**_(He heads into Lestrade's office. John purses his lips in frustration, then follows.)_**

**Shortly afterwards, Sherlock is sitting at Lestrade's desk where a laptop has been opened to ****The Science of Deduction_ website. John and Lestrade are standing either side of him. Sherlock types into the message box:_**

**Raoul de Santos, the house-boy, botox.**

**_(He sends the message and the pink phone on the desk beside the computer rings almost instantly. He picks it up and answers.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Hello?**

**OLD WOMAN _(in an anguished voice)_: _Help_ me.**

Molly let out a whimper as she gazed upon the old woman, the knowledge of the poor lady's fate gnawing away at her stomach.

**SHERLOCK _(clearly)_: Tell us where you are. Address.**

**OLD WOMAN: He was so ... His voice ...**

The whole room tensed.

**SHERLOCK _(urgently)_: No, no, no, no. Tell me nothing about him. _Nothing._**

Amidst the tension, Sally and Anderson looked up at each other in surprise. He sounded as if he...cared?

**OLD WOMAN: He sounded so ... soft.**

**_(The laser point from the sniper's rifle moves onto the bomb. A single shot fires and the phone instantly goes dead.)_**

Everyone flinched.

Mrs. Hudson let out a cry, "Oh, dear," and wrapped her arm around Molly. The pathologist welcomed the warm gesture.

**SHERLOCK _(into phone)_: Hello?**

Mycroft gazed sadly at his little brother. Even though the others didn't know it, every death that could've been prevented killed Sherlock a little inside. It was easier to just pretend you didn't care in his line of business.

**LESTRADE _(seeing his expression)_: Sherlock?**

**JOHN: What's happened?**

**_(Slowly, staring ahead of himself, Sherlock lowers the phone from his ear. He bites his lip as Lestrade – realising that something bad must have happened – straightens up and sighs. John braces a hand on the back of Sherlock's chair.)_**

Seeing Sherlock's guilt and sadness, Anderson dug in his pocket and pulled out his wallet.

"Miss," Anderson called out to Phil. She looked up at him questioningly.

"How much are five American dollars in pounds?"

She smiled at him, " 3.24 pounds, Dr. Anderson."

* * *

**So Anderson is nicer and I got more money. Yay!**

**New chapter coming soon!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey, guys! I'm back with another chapter. A very late update, I know, so I have brought a gift to apologize.**

**A very long chapter.**

**Also, thanks for the reviews! **

**Max Crimson: check out chapter 3 to see why Anderson paid me.**

**WRose, thank you for your suggestions. You rock!**

**I own nothing.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Phil hit the play button once more.

**MORNING. 221B. Sherlock and John are sitting in their armchairs watching the news on the TV. Sherlock has the pink phone on the left arm of his chair. The windows are still broken and boarded up and the traffic is loud outside. On the TV, the picture shows a high-rise block of flats and the headline at the bottom of the screen reads,**

**"12 dead in gas explosion."_ The picture moves to a close-up, showing a corner of the building many floors up which has been torn open and exposed to the air._**

All those present winced and looked down at their feet. That had been an awful day.

**NEWS READER: The explosion, which ripped through several floors, killing twelve people ...**

**JOHN _(briefly glancing over his shoulder to Sherlock)_: Old block of flats.**

**NEWS READER: ... is said to have been caused by a faulty gas main. A spokesman from the utilities company ...**

**JOHN: _He_ certainly gets about.**

**SHERLOCK: Well, obviously I lost that round – although technically I did solve the case.**

Sally and Anderson's eyebrows shot into their hairlines at the easy dismissal of human lives. Sherlock seemed to be switching back and forth between caring and cold.

**_(He picks up the remote control and mutes the volume. Lowering his hand again he looks thoughtfully into the distance.)_**

**SHERLOCK: He killed the old lady because she started to describe him.**

"Guess he didn't want any spoilers," Paul remarked. She earned quite a few glares from the audience.

**_(He raises a finger on his other hand.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Just once, he put himself in the firing line.**

**JOHN: What d'you mean?**

**SHERLOCK: Well, usually, he must stay above it all. He organises these things but no-one ever has direct contact.**

**JOHN: What ... like the Connie Prince murder – he-he arranged that? So people come to him wanting their crimes fixed up, like booking a holiday?**

**SHERLOCK _(softly, his face full of admiration)_: Novel.**

**_(John looks at him in disbelief, then turns and looks at the TV screen again, which has moved on to a new story.)_**

Noting John's disbelief, Park sighed, "We don't understand it either."

Mycroft let his eyes shift toward the teens. Despite all of their knowledge if these events, they still couldn't comprehend any admiration for this psychopath.

**JOHN: Huh.**

**_(He jerks a finger towards the screen and Sherlock looks up to see Raoul de Santos being bundled out of Kenny's house by police officers. The press are there and are shoving each other as they struggle to get close to Raoul and take photographs while interviewers shout questions. The headline on the screen reads:_ "Connie Prince: man arrested." _Raoul is shoved into the back of a police car. John looks round at Sherlock, who is looking down at the pink phone.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Taking his time this time.**

**_(John looks away, clearing his throat uncomfortably. On the TV, the camera is focussing on Kenny who is standing at the window of his house, holding Sekhmet in his arms and watching the chaos outside.)_**

**JOHN: Anything on the Carl Powers case?**

**SHERLOCK: Nothing. All the living classmates check out spotless. No connection.**

"Of course," Lestrade sighed.

**JOHN: Maybe the killer was older than Carl?**

**SHERLOCK: The thought had occurred.**

**JOHN: So why's he doing this, then – playing this game with you? D'you think he wants to be caught?**

**_(Sherlock presses his fingertips together in front of his mouth and smiles slightly.)_**

**SHERLOCK: I think he wants to be distracted.**

**_(John laughs humourlessly, gets out of his chair and heads towards the kitchen.)_**

**JOHN: I hope you'll be very happy together.**

Park barked a laugh, drawing quite a few stares. She snickered to herself as she explained, "More gay jokes!"

Phil and Paul looked at each other, sighed simultaneously, and face palmed.

**SHERLOCK: Sorry, what?**

**_(John turns back, furious, and leans his hands on the back of his chair.)_**

**JOHN: There are lives at stake, Sherlock – actual _human_ lives... Just – just so I know, do you care about that at all?**

**SHERLOCK _(irritably)_: Will caring about them help save them?**

**JOHN: Nope.**

**SHERLOCK: Then I'll continue not to make that mistake.**

**JOHN: And you find that easy, do you?**

**SHERLOCK: Yes, very. Is that news to you?**

**JOHN: No. _(He smiles bitterly.)_ No.**

"Aw, why must you hate on the smarticles, John?" Phil pouted.

John raised an eyebrow as Mary stifled a laugh.

**_(They lock eyes for a moment.)_**

**SHERLOCK: I've disappointed you.**

Their audience seemed surprised that Sherlock had picked up on John's annoyance.

**JOHN _(still smiling angrily as he points at him sarcastically)_: That's good – that's a good deduction, yeah.**

**SHERLOCK: _Don't_ make people into heroes, John. Heroes don't exist, and if they did, I wouldn't be one of them.**

Molly sighed to herself. Sherlock was a hero, whether he admitted it to himself or not.

Mrs. Hudson and Mary shared a look, a single Fan Gal worthy thought running through their minds.

_I ship it._

**_(They stare at each other for a second but then the pink phone sounds a message alert.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Excellent!**

**_(He picks up the phone and activates it. The phone sounds one short pip and the long tone, and a photograph appears showing a river bank.)_**

**SHERLOCK: View of the Thames. South Bank – somewhere between Southwark Bridge and Waterloo.**

**_(He reaches into his jacket for his own phone.)_**

**SHERLOCK: You check the papers; I'll look online ...**

**_(He looks up and sees that John is standing with his hands braced on the back of his chair and his head lowered.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Oh, you're angry with me, so you won't help.**

Mary shook her head at her boyfriend's rare display of stubbornness while Mrs. Hudson looked conflicted. On one hand, Sherlock deserved it. On the other, John was putting people at risk.

**_(John raises his head and shrugs.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Not much cop, this caring lark.**

**_(He loudly clicks the 'k' on the last word. Sherlock dismisses John from his mind and begins a search on his phone:_**

**Search:**  
**Thames**  
**\+ High Tide**  
**\+ Riverside**

**_John stares at him for a moment, then straightens up as he perhaps begins to realise that his friend is never going to change. Sherlock continues his online search, totally focussed on his work and oblivious to the emotional trauma which his flatmate is going through. After a while John sniffs, then walks across the room towards the sofa. Sherlock switches to a search for _**

**Local News**  
**Greenwich**  
**Waterloo**  
**Battersea**

**_He selects _Waterloo_ as John tiredly sits down on the sofa and starts going through the pile of newspapers on the coffee table. Sherlock's phone shows timed reports from the Waterloo area, giving tide times, police reports and other information.)_**

**JOHN _(reading from a newspaper)_: Archway suicide.**

**SHERLOCK _(snapping irritably)_: Ten a penny.**

Mrs. Hudson and the Yarders looked a little taken back as Molly nodded sadly, "It's true."

John gave the Yarders a bemused look, "You didn't know that?"

Lestrade dead panned, "Not our division."

**_(John throws him a look as Sherlock goes back to the _Local News_ option and selects _Battersea_. The page shows_ "No new reports."_ He tries_"Thames Police Reports" _and starts scrolling through the duty log.)_**

**JOHN: Two kids stabbed in Stoke Newington.**

Molly nodded sadly. She had preformed the autopsies.

**_(He puts that paper aside and looks at another one.)_**

**JOHN: Ah. Man found on the train line – Andrew West.**

**_(Sherlock looks exasperated when he finds no helpful information in the reports.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Nothing!**

**_(He hits a speed dial and the phone begins to ring out. As soon as it is answered he starts talking.)_**

**SHERLOCK: It's me. Have you found anything on the South Bank between Waterloo Bridge and Southwark Bridge?**

**_On the south bank of the River Thames, the tide has receded to reveal the body of a large man wearing black trousers, a white shirt, black socks and no shoes._**

**Later, as the police and forensics officers work at the scene, our boys arrive. Sherlock is pulling on a pair of latex gloves. Lestrade is waiting beside the body.**

**LESTRADE: D'you reckon this is connected, then? The bomber?**

**SHERLOCK: _Must_ be. Odd, though ... _(he holds up the pink phone)_ ... he hasn't been in touch.**

**LESTRADE: But we must assume that some poor bugger's primed to explode, yeah?**

**SHERLOCK: Yes.**

"You know you're living a sad life when you have to assume something like that," Paul commented.

No one commented. It was true after all.

**_(He steps back and takes a long look at the man's body which is now lying on its back on a plastic sheet.)_**

**LESTRADE: Any ideas?**

**SHERLOCK: Seven ... so far.**

**LESTRADE: Seven?!**

"You're surprised?" Irene asked playfully.

Lestrade glared at the Woman, a little unnerved by her presence.

**_(Sherlock walks closer to the body and squats down to examine the man's face closely with his magnifier. He then looks at the ripped pocket on the shirt before working his way downwards until he reaches the man's feet. He pulls off one of the socks and examines the sole of the foot with his magnifier. Standing up and closing the magnifier, he looks across to John and jerks his head down towards the body in a mute order to examine it. John looks enquiringly at Lestrade for permission; the inspector holds his hand out in a 'be my guest' gesture. John squats down beside the body and reaches out to take hold of the man's wrist while Sherlock walks a few paces away and gets out his phone.)_**

**JOHN: He's dead about twenty-four hours – maybe a bit longer. _(He looks up at Lestrade.)_ Did he drown?**

**_(Sherlock has called up_**

**Interpol**  
**Most Wanted**  
**Criminal Organisations**  
**Regional Activities**

**LESTRADE: Apparently not. Not enough of the Thames in his lungs. Asphyxiated.**

**JOHN: Yes, I'd agree.**

**_(Sherlock looks up thoughtfully, then selects the latter option and the screen changes to:_**

**Czech Republic**  
**Gangs**  
**Information**  
**Most Wanted**  
**Contact**

**JOHN: There's quite a bit of bruising around the nose and mouth. More bruises here and here.**

"Murder by suffocation, then?" Molly inquired.

The others turned to stare at her. She shifted, "What? I am a pathologist."

**_(Sherlock selects the _"Most Wanted"_ option, then looks up as he mentally flashes back to looking at the small round red marks beside the man's mouth and near his hairline.)_**

**SHERLOCK _(thoughtfully)_: Fingertips.**

**_(As John stands up, Sherlock shifts to a new search:_**

**Missing Persons**

**_He scrolls through the options:_**

**Last 36 hrs**  
**Age**  
**Location**  
**Local Search**

**JOHN: In his late thirties, I'd say. Not in the best condition.**

**SHERLOCK: He's been in the river a long while. The water's destroyed most of the data.**

**_(He quirks a grin.)_**

**SHERLOCK: But I'll tell you one thing: that lost Vermeer painting's a fake.**

"And I'm lost," Anderson remarked. Several others nodded their agreement.

"Two words, Anderson. Linear thinking," Phil explained. She paused, then continued, "I still had no idea where he was going with this the first time I watched this."

Mycroft noted her wording, "You've watched this multiple times?"

Park and Paul shared a startled and worried look and Phil cleared her throat, "Moving on!"

**LESTRADE: What?**

**SHERLOCK: We need to identify the corpse. Find out about his friends and associates ...**

**LESTRADE: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait. What painting? What are you – what are you on about?**

**SHERLOCK: It's all over the place. Haven't you seen the posters? Dutch Old Master, supposed to have been destroyed centuries ago; now it's turned up. Worth thirty million pounds.**

**LESTRADE: Okay. So what has _that_ got to do with the stiff?**

**SHERLOCK _(grinning briefly)_: _Everything_. Have you ever heard of the Golem?**

"Yeah, he's in our orchestra class," Paul grinned.

Phil smacked her lightly on the back of the head, "That's Gollum, not Golem."

Park snickered as Park rubbed the back of her neck, "Same difference."

**LESTRADE: Golem?**

**JOHN: It's a horror story, isn't it? What are you saying?**

**SHERLOCK: Jewish folk story. A gigantic man made of clay. It's also the name of an assassin – real name Oskar Dzundza – one of the deadliest assassins in the world.**

**_(He points down to the body.)_**

**SHERLOCK: _That_ is his trademark style.**

**LESTRADE: So this is a hit?**

**SHERLOCK: Definitely. The Golem squeezes the life out of his victims with his bare hands.**

**LESTRADE: But what has this gotta do with that painting? I don't see ...**

**SHERLOCK _(exasperated)_: You do _see_ – you just don't _observe_.**

**JOHN: All right, all right, girls, calm down. Sherlock? D'you wanna take us through it?**

Paul's jaw dropped, "That's where you got it from? I thought you made that up!"

Park and Phil cracked up as Paul proceeded to mutter under her breathe about stupid references. John seemed rather proud of the humorous impact of his words.

**_(Taking a moment before he responds, Sherlock eventually steps back and points to the body.)_**

**SHERLOCK: What do we know about this corpse? The killer's not left us with much – just the shirt and the trousers. They're pretty formal – maybe he was going out for the night, but the trousers are heavy-duty, polyester, nasty, same as the shirt – cheap. They're both too big for him, so some kind of standard-issue uniform. Dressed for work, then. What _kind_ of work? There's a hook on his belt for a walkie-talkie.**

**LESTRADE: Tube driver?**

**_(Sherlock throws him a look which blatantly says 'idiot.')_**

**JOHN: Security guard?**

"Ding ding ding! You win!" Park exclaimed.

John gave her a look that was either annoyed or amused. Either way, it was gone as soon as it appeared.

**SHERLOCK: More likely. That'll be borne out by his backside.**

Mrs. Hudson looked scandalized, "Excuse me?!"

Park, Paul and Phil cracked up.

**LESTRADE: Backside?!**

**SHERLOCK: Flabby. You'd think that he'd led a sedentary life, yet the soles of his feet and the nascent varicose veins in his legs show otherwise. So, a lot of walking _and_ a lot of sitting around. Security guard's looking good. And the watch helps, too. The alarm shows he did regular night shifts.**

**_(Flashback to Sherlock pushing buttons on the man's wristwatch and it showing an alarm time of 2:30.)_**

**LESTRADE: Why regular? Maybe he just set his alarm like that the night before he died.**

**SHERLOCK: No-no-no, the buttons are stiff, hardly touched. He set his alarm like that a long time ago. His routine never varied. But there's something else. The killer must have been interrupted, otherwise he would have stripped the corpse completely. There was some kind of badge or insignia on the shirt front that he tore off, suggesting the dead man worked somewhere recognisable, some kind of institution.**

Paul's jaw dropped as she watched and listened to the deductions. Mycroft chuckled to himself at her reaction.

**_(He takes something from his pocket.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Found this inside his trouser pockets.**

**_(He is holding a small scrunched-up ball of paper.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Sodden by the river but still recognisably ...**

"Dang, John. Look at you being all smart today," Phil smirked.

Mary and John shared a look before rolling their eyes.

**JOHN _(peering at the ball of paper)_: Tickets?**

**SHERLOCK: Ticket _stubs_. He worked in a museum or gallery. Did a quick check – the Hickman Gallery has reported one of its attendants as missing.**

**_(He points down to the body.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Alex Woodbridge. Tonight they unveil the re-discovered masterpiece. Now why would anyone want to pay the Golem to suffocate a perfectly ordinary gallery attendant? Inference: the dead man knew something about it – something that would stop the owner getting paid thirty million pounds. The picture's a fake.**

**JOHN _(admiringly)_: Fantastic.**

**SHERLOCK _(shrugging, apparently still peeved about their earlier argument)_: Meretricious.**

**LESTRADE: And a Happy New Year!**

Park tapped on her friends' shoulders, "That's what our orchestra class is like."

Paul's eyes widened and she laughed, "Yeah, Phil and Kiltman know everything and we're just in the back like 'what?'. Wait, does that mean we're the Lestrade of orchestra?"

Lestrade turned around, an alarmed expression on his face, "Wait, what?"

**_(John throws him a 'seriously?!' look. Lestrade grins sheepishly, then John looks down at the body again.)_**

**JOHN: Poor sod.**

**LESTRADE: I'd better get my feelers out for this Golem character.**

**SHERLOCK: Pointless. You'll never find him. But I know a man who can.**

**LESTRADE: Who?**

**SHERLOCK _(grinning)_: Me.**

Everyone except Mycroft sighed, "Of course."

**_(He turns and walks away. John sighs, his entire body radiating 'Oh, here we go again,' but he dutifully follows his friend.)_**

Mary chuckled at John's behavior and leaned her head against her boyfriend's shoulder. There was a sudden click and a flash of light behind them. When the audience turned to look, they saw Park clutching a camera and squealing, "OTP!"

* * *

**Mrs. Hudson and Mary ship it. They seem the type, right? Right.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry for the super long absence. **

**Please don't kill me! I can't update if you kill me! We clear?**

**M'kay, super-duper long chapter this time, so make sure you have time to kill before you start reading.**

**Also, people have been asking me to do the first two episodes. I have been asked this a lot. I started with The Great Game for the 'watching the episodes' thing because it was the most convenient place for me. **

**I'm also leaving out certain scenes that I deem unnecessary or "inappropriate" based on my standards and beliefs. When I finish this main fanfic, I will write bonus chapters including the group gathered reacting to some of the stuff I left out(but only if it's requested!).**

**I own nothing.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Paul poked Phil and Park in the arms. The pair turned to look back at her.

"Guess what, guess what!" Paul grinned. The pair shared a weary look as their friend leaned foreward conspiritaly, "Cats!."

She cackled as Park and Phil groaned.

"So you're in one of those moods today," Phil looked over at Paul.

Paul let loose a nother cackle, "Meow!"

Park looked over at their guests, who in turn looked at Paul like she was crazy, "Don't ask."

"Let's keep watching!" Phil pressed the play button on the remote before anyone could comment on her friend's temporary fit of insanity.

The episode resumed.

**TAXI. As the boys sit in the back of the cab, Sherlock is looking at the pink phone in frustration.**

**SHERLOCK: Why hasn't he phoned? He's broken his pattern. Why?**

**_(A thought strikes him and he leans forward to the taxi driver.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Waterloo Bridge.**

**JOHN: Where now? The Gallery?**

**SHERLOCK: In a bit.**

**JOHN: The Hickman's contemporary art, isn't it? Why have they got hold of an Old Master?**

**SHERLOCK: Dunno. Dangerous to jump to conclusions. Need data.**

"Can't complete sentences. Lack grammar," Paul muttered, adopting a very Sherlockian accent.

**_(He has taken his notebook from his pocket and now writes something on a page before tearing it out and folding a bank note inside it. He puts the paper into his pocket, then a few seconds later calls out to the driver.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Stop!**

**_(The cab pulls over to the side of the road.)_**

"Uh, do we want to know?" Sally asked. John kept a poker face and Lestrade raised an eyebrow. Was Sherlock-?

**SHERLOCK: You wait here. I won't be a moment.**

**_(He gets out, goes to the railings at the edge of the pavement and easily vaults over them.)_**

**JOHN _(also getting out of the cab)_: Sherlock ...**

Sally let out a groan, "Ugh, is he going to do something stupid and inconsiderate now?"

Mycroft felt his eye twitch as he pointed out, "What would be the purpose of stoping on the side of the road simply to do such a thing? Even if he was stopping to investigate, it isn't as if Sherlock does it intentionally."

Lestrade clenched his fists and crossed his arms over his chest. He knew what was coming.

**_(As Sherlock walks off, John shakes his head in exasperation, then scrambles over the railings and follows him. Sherlock trots up some steps to where a young homeless woman is sitting on a bench under Waterloo Bridge. She has a large bag beside her with a handwritten cardboard sign poking out of the top. The first two words on the sign say, _"HUNGRY AND"_. Presumably the next word, obscured by some of her possessions, is 'HOMELESS.')_**

Lestrade sat back, a smirk on his face. He knew it.

Anderson noticed, "What?"

Lestrade turned to grin at the forensic investigator, "I had a feeling he was going to do that."

Sally frowned, "Do what?"

"You'll see," Lestrade smirked. Anderson and Sally exchanged a frustrated glance.

**HOMELESS GIRL: Change? Any change?**

Quite a few people's eyebrows rose on their foreheads. This seemed normal enough, but what was Sherlock doing?

**SHERLOCK: What for?**

Sally gaped, "You really need to ask that?"

Lestrade gave the Sargent a warning look, "Donovan..."

"No, he should know better," Sally ground out. "They have no place to go. They have very good reasons for needing spare change."

Anderson placed a placating hand on Sally's arm, eyeing the Telly warily.

Mary frowned. Were those code words?

**HOMELESS GIRL: Cup of tea, of course.**

"Uh, okay?" Sally said uncertainly. The others, excluding John, Mycroft and Mrs. Hudson, looked confused.

"Makes sense," Mrs. Hudson nodded sagely.

The others gave her a look that displayed their questioning of the land lady's sanity.

"If I were unfortunate enough to live on the streets," Mrs. Hudson patiently shared. "I would want tea above all else."

The eldery woman's companions exchanged confused and bewildered looks as John face-palmed.

**SHERLOCK _(handing her the piece of paper from his pocket)_: Here you go – fifty.**

Mrs. Hudson choked, "Fifty?!"

Lestrade chuckled, "Guess he still keeps in touch with his mates from the streets."

"Must be some quality tea," Sally muttered. Molly stifled a giggle.

Anderson furrowed his eyebrows, "It's hard to imagine him ever living on the streets. He's got very expensive tastes."

"Let's move on, shall we?" Mycroft said sternly. Molly and John looked down at their laps. It really hadn't been a good part of Sherlock's life.

**HOMELESS GIRL _(smiling)_: Thanks.**

**_(He immediately turns and walks away again. John looks at him in bewilderment before turning and following, pointing back towards the girl.)_**

**JOHN: What are you doing?**

**SHERLOCK: Investing.**

"Homeless network!" Park coughed into her hand. Phil thumped her on the back with a fist.

Paul rolled her eyes at her friends.

**_(John looks back to where the girl is unfolding the note and reading it. Sherlock goes to the railings and easily leaps over them again. He opens the door of the cab.)_**

"Parkour!" Park declared. She then jumped up from her seat and ran around the room. It took a moment for Paul and Phil to take off in pursuit of their hyperactive buddy.

Mycroft rolled his eyes as the two girls forced Park to sit, "Can you not control yourselves?"

The trio gave the British government a blank look and spoke in a simultaneous monotone, "Our account is called the Fan Gals. Insanity is part of the deal."

**SHERLOCK: Now we go to the Gallery.**

**_(He stops and looks back at John.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Have you got any cash?**

**_(Presumably John – just offscreen – nods, because Sherlock gets into the cab and John follows.)_**

**HICKMAN GALLERY. The taxi pulls up and Sherlock steps out. John is about to get out as well but Sherlock stops him.**

**SHERLOCK: No. I need you to find out all you can about the gallery attendant. Lestrade will give you the address.**

**JOHN: Okay.**

**_(He closes the cab door and gives a new instruction to the driver. Sherlock walks away towards the gallery.)_**

**ALEX WOODBRIDGE'S HOME. A woman leads John into Alex's tiny attic bedroom. It's messy with clothes scattered everywhere, and near the window which looks up into the sky is a large object covered with a sheet.**

**JULIE: We'd been sharing about a year. Just sharing.**

"No matter how much you insist you're just sharing, people always assume you're-" Park was cut off by strategically placed comment curtesy of Phil.

"Although the assumption might have some bearing in this case."

**JOHN: Mmm.**

**_(Julie stops and gestures around the room. John walks in and looks around, not touching anything. He looks at the sheet-covered object and points to it.)_**

**JOHN: May I?**

**JULIE: Yeah.**

**_(John tries to lift just the top of the sheet but it slips from his fingers and falls to the floor.)_**

**JOHN: Sorry.**

**_(He looks at the telescope on a tripod which has been revealed.)_**

"Hmm," Mary hummed as she pondered the clues so far.

Meanwhile, two much less mature girls decided to imitate Scooby-Doo as they exclaimed, "A clue!"

The author refuses to admit that she was among them.

**JOHN: Stargazer, was he?**

**JULIE: God, yeah. Mad about it. It's all he ever did in his spare time.**

**_(She looks away sadly.)_**

**JULIE: He was a nice guy, Alex. I liked him.**

"Poor woman," Molly murmured.

**_(She looks around the room.)_**

**JULIE: He was, er, never much of a one for hoovering.**

**_(She laughs nervously. John smiles at her, then pulls a face as she looks away.)_**

**JOHN: What about art? Did he know anything about that?**

**JULIE _(shaking her head)_: It was just a job, you know?**

**JOHN: Hmm.**

**_(He bends down and peers at the items on the bedside table.)_**

**JOHN: Has anyone else been round asking about Alex?**

**JULIE: No. We had a break-in, though.**

"You didn't think to mention that sooner?" Lestrade dead-panned as Sally and Anderson groaned. Details like that were often neglected in investigations, and made their jobs so much harder.

**JOHN _(straightening up)_: Hmm? When?**

**JULIE: Last night. There was nothing taken. Oh – there _was_ a message left for Alex on the landline.**

**JOHN: Who was it from?**

**JULIE: Well, I can play it for you if you like. I'll get the phone.**

**JOHN: Please.**

**_(She goes out of the room briefly and comes back with the phone and plays the message.)_**

**WOMAN's VOICE: Oh, should I speak now? Alex? Love, it's Professor Cairns. Listen, you were right. You were bloody right! Give us a call when ...**

**_(The message ends.)_**

**JOHN: Professor Cairns?**

**JULIE: No, no idea, sorry.**

"And even more paperwork," Lestrade shook his head. For once, Mycroft could relate.

**JOHN: Mmm. Can I try and ring back?**

**JULIE: Well, no good. I mean, I've had other calls since – sympathy ones, you know.**

**_(John nods and Julie leaves the room again just as John's phone trills a text alert. He gets the phone out and looks at the message which reads:_**

**RE: BRUCE-PARTINGTON PLANS**  
**Have you spoken to West's**  
**fiancée yet?**  
**Mycroft Holmes**

**_John grimaces and puts the phone away again.)_**

John gave a sheepish smile as Mycroft raised an eyebrow for the obvious distaste in the onscreen John's expression.

**HICKMAN GALLERY. An elegantly dressed woman walks into the large white-painted room which is displaying the Vermeer painting. There is no other artwork or furniture of any kind in the room, but two rows of free-standing posts are roped together to form a path to the picture. The woman stops at the sight of a security man in a black jacket and black cap standing in front of the painting with his back to her.**

John sighed, "Drama queen."

A few of the others subconsciously nodded in agreement.

**MISS WENCESLAS _(in an Eastern European accent)_: Don't you have something to do?**

**SHERLOCK _(for it is he)_: Just admiring the view.**

**MISS WENCESLAS: Yes. Lovely. Now get back to work. We open tonight.**

**_(Sherlock looks over his shoulder and then turns and walks towards her.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Doesn't it bother you?**

**MISS WENCESLAS: What?**

**SHERLOCK: That the painting's a fake.**

**MISS WENCESLAS _(angrily)_: What?**

**SHERLOCK: It's a fake. It _has_ to be. It's the only possible explanation.**

**_(Getting closer to her, he looks at her I.D. badge.)_**

**SHERLOCK: You're in charge, aren't you, Miss Wenceslas?**

Mary and Molly shared a look, their foreheads furrowing in confusion. Wenceslas?

Phil and Park looked over at Paul delighting in the confusion on her face, "Wait, isn't that a song? We had to sing that in elementary school."

Phil nodded, "That was my reaction."

**MISS WENCESLAS: Who _are_ you?**

**SHERLOCK _(getting into her face and staring into her eyes)_: Alex Woodbridge knew that the painting was a fake, so somebody sent the Golem to take care of him. Was it _you_?**

**MISS WENCESLAS: Golem? What the hell are you talking about?**

Phil clicked her tongue against her teeth, "Language."

Park gave her a weary look, "Thank you, Captain America."

**SHERLOCK: Or are you working for someone else? Did you fake it _for_ them?**

**MISS WENCESLAS: It's not a fake.**

**SHERLOCK: It _is_ a fake. Don't know why, but there's something wrong with it. There _has_ to be.**

**MISS WENCESLAS: What the hell are you on about? You know, I could have you sacked on the spot.**

Phil grunted, but didn't comment on the word used.

**SHERLOCK: Not a problem.**

**MISS WENCESLAS: No?**

**SHERLOCK: No. I don't work here, you see. Just popped in to give you a bit of friendly advice.**

**MISS WENCESLAS: How did you get in?**

**SHERLOCK _(scornfully)_: Please.**

Sally and Anderson rolled their eyes. Lestrade and Molly gave sighs of exasperation and fondness.

**MISS WENCESLAS: I want to know.**

**SHERLOCK: The art of disguise is knowing how to hide in plain sight.**

**_(He turns and begins to walk away, taking off his cap.)_**

**MISS WENCESLAS: Who _are_ you?**

**SHERLOCK: Sherlock Holmes.**

**_(He drops the cap onto the top of one of the railing posts and continues onwards.)_**

**MISS WENCESLAS: Am I supposed to be impressed?**

**SHERLOCK: You _should_ be.**

Now everyone who knew Sherlock (with the exception of Molly) rolled their eyes. Mary just looked more eager to meet her boyfriend's best friend.

**_(Taking off the jacket, he looks round at her as he deliberately drops it on the floor. Reaching the doors, he flamboyantly shoves one open, almost dancing out of the room.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Have a nice day!**

**_(Miss Wenceslas walks closer to the painting and looks at it as the door slowly and squeakily swings closed.)_**

**WESTIE'S FLAT. John is sitting on the sofa beside Andrew West's fiancée. He has been there long enough for her to have made them mugs of something which are on the coffee table in front of them. Lucy is upset throughout the ensuing conversation.**

Mary snuggled closer to John as she watched Lucy's distress and John squeezed her tighter. The more kind-hearted members of the group looked at the girl sympathetically.

**LUCY: He wouldn't. He just wouldn't.**

**JOHN _(gently)_: Well, stranger things have happened.**

**LUCY: Westie wasn't a traitor. It's a horrible thing to say!**

**JOHN: I'm sorry, but you must understand that's ...**

**LUCY: That's what they think, isn't it, his bosses?**

**JOHN _(nodding)_: He was a young man, about to get married. He had debts ...**

**LUCY: _Everyone's_ got debts; and Westie wouldn't wanna clear them by selling out his country.**

**JOHN: Can you, um, can you tell me exactly what happened that night?**

**LUCY: We were having a night in, just watching a DVD.**

Paul poked Phil in the ribs, "Or _film _as you old people say."

Phil pouted.

**_(She smiles at the memory.)_**

**LUCY: He normally falls asleep, you know, but he sat through this one. He was quiet.**

**_(She becomes tearful.)_**

**LUCY: Out of the blue, he said he just had to go and see someone.**

**JOHN: And you've no idea who?**

**_(Shaking her head, Lucy begins to cry.)_**

**Later, she opens the front door and shows John out. A cycle courier walks along the pavement towards the house, wheeling his pushbike.**

**JOE: Oh, hi, Luce. You okay, love?**

**LUCY: Yeah.**

**JOE: Who's this?**

**JOHN: John Watson. Hi.**

**LUCY _(to John)_: This is my brother, Joe. _(She turns to her brother.)_ John's trying to find out what happened to Westie, Joe.**

**JOE _(looking John up and down)_: You with the police?**

**JOHN: Uh, sort of, yeah.**

**JOE: Well, tell 'em to get off their arses, will you? It's bloody ridiculous.**

Lestrade, Anderson and Sally looked offended by the comment.

Meanwhile, Park smirked, "Ah, the irony."

"Must not be their division," Phil remarked. Lestrade gave her a dry glare.

Paul just looked confused.

**JOHN: I'll do my best.**

**_(Nodding, Joe turns and puts a comforting hand on his sister's shoulder for a moment before wheeling his bike inside the house. John clears his throat and steps closer to Lucy.)_**

**JOHN: Well, er, thanks very much for your help; and again, I'm very, very sorry.**

**_(He turns to leave but Lucy calls after him.)_**

**LUCY: He didn't steal those things, Mr Watson.**

"Isn't it Dr. Watson?" Molly pointed out. John gave her a pleasantly surprised look.

**_(John turns back to her.)_**

**LUCY: I knew Westie. He was a good man. _(She starts to cry.)_ He was _my_ good man.**

**_(She turns and goes back indoors. John walks away looking like one awesome BAMF and melting ovaries everywhere. Hang on, why did I strike that out? Edit: John walks away, looking like one awesome BAMF and melting ovaries everywhere. There, fixed it for you me.)_**

**NIGHT TIME. John is in the back of a taxi heading along Baker Street. Further along the road, the homeless girl is standing by the railings on the other side of Speedy's, shaking a paper cup at people as they pass by.**

"Poor girl," Molly muttered. Sally looked over at the pathologist. That was the second time she had commented on the wellbeing of people she hadn't met who had gone through situations similar to her's. She had lost the man she had been desperately in love with.

Even if he was a jerk.

If Molly had known the Sargent's thoughts, she would've been overcome by guilt. She was one of the few to know about Sherlock being alive before the strange TV marathon they were forced into.

**HOMELESS GIRL: Spare change? Any spare change?**

**_(Sherlock comes out of 221 and stops, looking down the road towards her. The taxi pulls up and John gets out. Sherlock walks over to him.)_**

**JOHN: Alex Woodbridge didn't know anything special about art.**

**SHERLOCK: And?**

**JOHN: And ...**

**_(Sherlock looks towards the girl again and starts to head towards her while still talking to John.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Is that it? No habits, hobbies, personality?**

**JOHN: No, give us a chance! He was an amateur astronomer.**

**_(Sherlock stops dead, turns and points towards the taxi.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Hold that cab.**

**_(John trots back to the taxi while Sherlock goes over to the girl.)_**

**HOMELESS GIRL: Spare change, sir?**

**SHERLOCK: Don't mind if I do.**

Paul made a face with squinting eyes and a strange smile, "If I'm not mistaken, that's not usually how you respond."

"Uh, we told you already, Paul," Park exclaimed. She and Phil exclaimed simultaneously in voices low enough to prevent their guests from overhearing, "Homeless network!"

Mary allowed herself a small smile, knowing it could be interpreted as fondness for their juvenile hosts. She had been correct after all.

**JOHN _(to the cab driver)_: Can you wait here?**

**_(The girl hands Sherlock a piece of paper. Unfolding it, he sees that she has written _"VAUXHALL ARCHES"_ on it. Smiling briefly, he turns and walks back to John.)_**

Many of the viewers were desperately confused.

**SHERLOCK: Fortunately, I _haven't_ been idle.**

"Oh, and I suppose I was," John rolled his eyes.

Mary patted him in the arm, "John, dear, you do know that this is a DVD you're talking to, right?"

The others watched in amusement as John sank further down into his cushioned seat, a pout on his face.

**_(He opens the cab door and gets in.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Come on.**

**_(John climbs in and the taxi heads off.)_**

**VAUXHALL. The boys have got out of the cab and are walking along, Sherlock buttoning his coat as he gazes up at the sky.**

**SHERLOCK: Beautiful, isn't it?**

**_(John looks up [and sees an impossibly dense star field that you would never see in central London in a million years].)_**

Those watching also took the opportunity to admire the stunning view.

**JOHN: I thought you didn't care about things like that.**

**SHERLOCK: Doesn't mean I can't appreciate it.**

"That was oddly humane of him," Anderson commented.

**_(They walk into the Arches.)_**

**JOHN: Listen: Alex Woodbridge had a message on the answerphone at his flat – a Professor Cairns?**

**SHERLOCK: This way.**

**JOHN: Nice(!) Nice part of town. Er, any time you wanna explain.**

**SHERLOCK: Homeless network – really is indispensable.**

"See? Homeless network," Park elbowed Paul in the ribs, causing the latter to scowl.

"What's that?" Anderson inquired.

"Keep quiet and you might learn," Irene said as she glanced over at the man. Phil noticed the glint in her eye and quickly changed the subject, "Yes, Anderson. Now, moving on."

**JOHN _(getting a small flashlight from his pocket and switching it on)_: Homeless network?**

**SHERLOCK: My eyes and ears all over the city.**

**JOHN: Oh, that's clever. So you scratch their backs and ...**

**SHERLOCK: Yes, then I disinfect myself.**

Paul choked on air and fell backwards laughing. Everyone else gave her weird looks.

**_(He has also brought a flashlight and shines it around as they continue into the darkness of the Arches. Their beams pick out homeless people all around the place, most of them settling down for the night. Suddenly, in the distance, the shadow of a man shows on a wall as he begins to stand up. The man is incredibly tall.)_**

**JOHN: Sherlock!**

**SHERLOCK: Come on!**

**_(They duck to the side of a wall while the man continues straightening up for ages until he is over seven feet tall.)_**

"And I thought Kiltman was tall," Paul noted as she stared at the shadow.

**JOHN _(in a whisper)_: What's he doing sleeping rough?**

**SHERLOCK _(peering around the corner)_: Well, he has a very distinctive look. He has to hide somewhere where tongues won't wag – much.**

"Like our school?" Phil suggested. Paul snickered and Park, who had been sipping tea, spit it out into a strategically placed trash can. As she sat up straight, Phil casually offered her a handkerchief, causing their guests to crack up.

**_(John looks down as he realises that he has come out without something essential.)_**

**JOHN: Oh shi...**

"Young man!"

"John!"

Two voices, one stern and one mocking, cried. Mrs. Hudson appeared almost scandalized while Phil whacked Park on the back of the head, "Oh hush, you use worse profanity than that!"

Mrs. Hudson looked horrified and John looked relieved to have the attention away from him.

**SHERLOCK _(taking John's pistol from his coat pocket)_: What?**

**JOHN: I wish I'd ...**

**SHERLOCK _(handing him the gun)_: Don't mention it.**

"My heart isn't made for watching my boys get in trouble," Mrs. Hudson grumbled as she pressed a delicate hand to her chest. John gave her a fond, slightly guilty look.

**_(The man breaks into a run and hurries away down another tunnel. The boys chase across towards where he was and reach the tunnel just in time to see him climbing into a waiting car which immediately speeds off. Sherlock punches the air in frustration.)_**

**SHERLOCK: No, no, no, _no_! It'll take us _weeks_ to find him again.**

**JOHN: Or not. I have an idea where he might be going.**

**SHERLOCK: What?**

**JOHN: I told you: someone left Alex Woodbridge a message. There can't be _that_ many Professor Cairns in the book. Come on.**

"Thank you!" Lestrade cried as Sherlock was shown up for once. John looked a tad bit proud of himself.

**_PLANETARIUM. Professor Cairns is alone in the planetarium's theatre. As Gustav Holst's "Mars" plays over the sound system, she is standing at the mixing desk and watching footage of a film which is played to visitors. Other than the light coming from the projector, the room is in darkness._**

**NARRATOR _(on the footage)_: Jupiter, the fifth planet in our solar system and the largest. Jupiter is a gas giant. Planet Earth would fit into it eleven times.**

**CAIRNS _(bored)_: Yes, we know that.**

"_We _didn't," Sally scowled.

"Yes, yes, but _we_, or shall we say _you_, are an idiot," Park replied without missing a beat. The others in the room looked stunned before bursting into laughter.

"Well some of us just don't like space," Phil pointed out.

Park shrugged, "True."

"That was also _my _line."

"Hey!"

"Oh hush!"

**_(She stops the recording and fast-forwards it for a moment because starting the playback again.)_**

**NARRATOR: Titan is the largest moon.**

"Intriguing," Irene muttered dryly. She returned to inspecting her nails. This part of the show was rather dull to her.

**CAIRNS _(fast-forwarding again)_: Come on, Neptune, where're you hiding?**

**_(Behind her, a hand pushes open the door to the theatre. A moment later, just as Cairns starts the playback again, the door bangs shut. She looks round.)_**

**NARRATOR: Many are actually long dead ...**

**_(Cairns peers up to the projection room.)_**

**CAIRNS: Tom? Is that you?**

**NARRATOR: ... exploded into supernovas.**

**_(She turns back to the desk. Behind her a long arm reaches out towards her.)_**

**NARRATOR: ... discovered by Urbain Le Verrier in eighteen forty-six.**

**_(A tall figure steps up behind Cairns and clamps one hand over her mouth and nose, pulling her backwards.)_**

The viewers gave cries of varying intensity, startled by the sudden appearance of the Golem. All except Mycroft, who barely twitched. He was practically Batman at this point.

**CAIRNS _(muffled)_: Oh my God!**

**_(She claws at the hand, crying out in muffled panic, and her other hand flails out and drags several of the sliders down the mixing desk. The footage begins to jump randomly as Cairns' attacker continues to suffocate her.)_**

**NARRATOR: ... composed mainly of hydrogen. Their light takes so long to reach us ...**

**_(Sherlock and John race into the theatre through another door. As John stops and aims his pistol towards the attacker, Sherlock yells at the top of his voice.)_**

**SHERLOCK: _Golem!_**

**NARRATOR ... many are actually long-dead, exploded into supernovas.**

**_(The Golem looks up, grunts in surprise, then snaps Cairns' neck and drops her to the floor. Her fingers drag along the mixing desk and the footage goes into fast-forward again, plunging the theatre into darkness. The Golem ducks down out of sight.)_**

Some of the viewers grimaced at the sight of Cairns getting her neck snapped, and the rest leaned forwards in anticipation of the oncoming action.

**SHERLOCK: John!**

**JOHN: I can't see him. I'll go round. I'll go!**

**_(As the footage continues spooling and then stopping and playing before spooling again, light comes and goes in the room. Sherlock stares around as John hurries off.)_**

**SHERLOCK _(loudly)_: Who are you working for this time, Dzundza?**

**_(Behind him, the Golem steps out of the fluctuating darkness and clam_****_ps one hand around Sherlock's mouth and nose while gripping his neck with the other. Sherlock grabs at the hand on his face, struggling to pull it free as he is slowly suffocated. John races over and stops in front of them, his pistol held in both hands.)_**

Molly and Mary jumped, and the pathologist gave a small whimper at the sight of Sherlock being suffocated. She didn't need her profession as a mortician or her crush on Sherlock to feel afraid for the detective. Asphyxiation was a nasty way to go.

**JOHN: Golem!**

**_(He cocks the gun and points it at the Golem's face, his hands and voice steady.)_**

**JOHN: Let him go, or I _will_ kill you.**

**_(Sherlock, whimpering in his efforts, continues trying to pull the man's hand from his face. The Golem swings him around to the left and lashes out with his long right leg during a moment of darkness, kicking the pistol from John's hands. Dropping Sherlock to the ground, he surges forward and wrestles with John. As Sherlock gets to his feet, the Golem shoves John into him, sending both of the boys tumbling to the floor. Sherlock scrambles up again and takes up a boxing stance in front of him, holding his fists up. He swings a punch at the man but Dzundza grabs his hand and swings his other arm down heavily onto Sherlock's shoulder, dropping him to the floor yet again. The Golem follows him down and clamps both hands onto his face, leaning his weight onto them. Behind him, John throws himself onto his back. The Golem roars, releasing Sherlock as he claws at the hobbit on his back. He stands up with John still clinging to his back and spins around several times before finally managing to shake him off onto the floor. As John groggily tries to get up, the Golem turns, picks up Sherlock and skims him across the floor towards John. As Sherlock slides across the floor he grabs at the pistol and manages to pick it up. The Golem runs for the doors. Sherlock rolls over onto his back and fires twice towards him but the Golem makes it to the doors and disappears through them.)_**

Throughout the fight sequence, the audience waited with bated breath, only relaxing when Golem disappeared.

Paul leaned over to her friends, making a quiet observation, "So, not our Gollum?"

"No," Park replied. "Not our Gollum."

**NARRATOR: ... long dead, exploded into supernovas.**

**_(As the image of a supernova dramatically explodes on the screen behind him, Sherlock angrily slams his hand down on the floor in front of him.)_**

Phil paused the episode. The room was silent as she suggested, "Let's take a break, shall we?"

* * *

**Holy cow! Over 4,000 words!**

**I was going to move the bit in the fight scene narration about Martin Freeman being a hobbit, but you know what? Lord of the Rings for the win! That's too good to get rid of! Please leave feedback and as always...**

**Thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks for all of the positive feedback, guys! A little birds told me that y'all wanted more, so it's time for a new chapter.**

**For anyone curious, the sequel to Reichenbach Misunderstandings should be up by mid-spring. I'm also working more on that and less on Prodigal Vigilante or Afghanistan or Iraq?, so don't expect much from those two for a while.**

**(Unless I suddenly get a burst of inspiration and update, but that is very unlikely.)**

**I get my transcript from the amazing Ariane DeVere AKA Callie Sullivan. Go check out her transcripts of the episodes if you feel like it. Her commentary is amazing. Any bold comments are her own opinions, but if you see them in one of these chapters, it means that I agree with them.**

**So sorry about the long author's note.**

**I own nothing.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Let's continue, shall we?" Phil asked as she pressed play once more.

_**MORNING. HICKMAN GALLERY. Sherlock is standing in front of the Vermeer painting, looking up information on his phone. He calls up subjects such as "Vermeer brush strokes," "Pigment analysis," "Canvas degradation," "UV Light damage," "Delft Skyline, 1600," and "Vermeer influences." John, Lestrade and Miss Wenceslas are standing behind him.**_

**SHERLOCK: It's a fake. It _has_ to be.**

**MISS WENCESLAS: That painting has been subjected to every test known to science.**

**SHERLOCK: It's a very _good_ fake, then.**

_**(He spins around and glares at her.)**_

**SHERLOCK: You _know_ about this, don't you? This is _you_, isn't it?**

_**(Miss Wenceslas turns to Lestrade, looking exasperated.)**_

**MISS WENCESLAS: Inspector, my time is being wasted. Would you mind showing yourself and your friends out?**

_**(The pink phone rings. Sherlock snatches it from his pocket and switches on the speaker.)**_

**SHERLOCK: The painting is a fake.**

_**(There's a faint sound of breathing over the speaker but otherwise there is no response.)**_

**SHERLOCK: It's a fake. That's why Woodbridge and Cairns were killed.**

_**(Still there's nothing more than breathing.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Oh, come on. Proving it's just the detail. The painting is a fake. I've solved it. I've figured it out. It's a fake! That's the answer. That's why they were killed.**

_**(When the phone remains silent, Sherlock takes a deep breath to calm himself.)**_

Sally and Anderson shared questioning looks. Was Sherlock panicking?

**SHERLOCK: Okay, I'll prove it. Give me time. Will you give me time?**

Yep, that was a panicked tone. It at least showed great concern.

_**(After a moment, the tremulous voice of a very young boy comes over the phone's speaker.)**_

**BOY's VOICE: Ten ...**

Everyone in the room stared at the screen in horror. Moriarty had used a kid?

Even Irene and Mycroft broke their blank facades to display disgusted expressions.

_**(Instantly Sherlock spins and looks closely at the painting.)**_

**LESTRADE _(shocked)_: It's a kid. Oh, God, it's a _kid_!**

"Okay, now that's messed up," Paul muttered. Phil and Park nodded, eyes glued to the screen.

Molly choked out a sob. Mrs. Hudson squeezed her hand.

**JOHN: What did he say?**

**SHERLOCK: "Ten."**

**BOY's VOICE: Nine ...**

**SHERLOCK _(narrowing his eyes as he scans every inch of the painting)_: It's a countdown. He's giving me time.**

**LESTRADE: Jesus!**

**SHERLOCK: The painting is a fake, but how can I prove it? How? _How?_**

"Come on, Sherlock," Paul said in a flustered tone. "Think!"

**BOY's VOICE: Eight ...**

**SHERLOCK _(turning and glaring at Miss Wenceslas)_: This kid will die. _Tell_ me why the painting is a fake. _Tell me!_**

"If she hesitates, I will find her and smack her!" Molly said darkly. Her frightened thoughts of her ex-boyfriend had apparently been replaced by a very anxious fury.

Everyone nearby gave her slightly curious and very scared looks.

_**(Miss Wenceslas flinches and opens her mouth, but Sherlock immediately holds up his hand to stop her.)**_

**BOY's VOICE: Seven ...**

**SHERLOCK: No, shut up. Don't say anything. It only works if I figure it out.**

"Of course he does," Paul said giddily. Park waved a hand at her and Phil shushed her violently. Once their friend was silenced, both girl simultaneously reached for the snacks Phil had smuggled off the snack cart.

_**(He turns back to the painting again. Unable to stand the tension, John turns and walks away a few paces. Lestrade turns to watch him, probably wanting to join in the pacing as well.)**_

**SHERLOCK _(to himself, continuing to scan the painting)_: Must be possible. Must be staring me in the face.**

**BOY's VOICE: Six ...**

**JOHN _(urgently under his breath as he turns back)_: Come _on_.**

**SHERLOCK: Woodbridge knew, but _how_?**

"Good question. Now find the bloody answer," John said, bouncing his foot anxiously. Mary reached over and patted his arm in a soothing manner.

**BOY's VOICE: Five ...**

**LESTRADE: It's speeding up!**

**JOHN _(urgently)_: Sherlock.**

_**(Sherlock's gaze falls on three tiny white dots of paint in the night sky. His mouth falls open as the penny finally drops.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Oh!**

**BOY's VOICE: Four ...**

**SHERLOCK: In the planetarium! You heard it too. Oh, that is brilliant! That is gorgeous!**

"Have your egotistical celebration later and say the bloody answer!" Park exclaimed, her voice becoming more thickly accented with each word.

Phil leaned over and whispered something to her friend. When she pulled back, Park gave her a death glare, "I outta smack you!"

_**(Turning and shoving the pink phone into John's hands, he walks away from the painting, grinning as he pulls out his own phone from his pocket.)**_

**BOY's VOICE: Three ...**

**JOHN: _What's_ brilliant? _What_ is?**

_**(Sherlock rapidly types "Astronomers" and "Supernovas" into his phone, then turns back and walks towards the others, laughing in delight.)**_

**SHERLOCK: This is beautiful. I love this!**

Anderson and Sally exchanged horrified glances and Lestrade exhaled sharply.

Bad timing,Sherlock. Really bad timing.

**BOY's VOICE: Two ...**

**LESTRADE _(furiously)_: _Sherlock!_**

_**(Sherlock grabs the pink phone from John and yells into it.)**_

**SHERLOCK: The Van Buren Supernova!**

"Ugh, what?" Sally asked the question on everyone, except Mycroft's, minds.

_**(There's a short pause, then the boy's plaintive voice comes from the speaker.)**_

**BOY's VOICE: Please. Is somebody there?**

Exeryone sighed in relief, despite most of them knowing full well that the child had survived.

_**(Sherlock sighs out a relieved breath.)**_

Everyone noted Sherlock's relief with feelings of pride and surprise (depending on the person.)

**BOY's VOICE: Somebody help me!**

**SHERLOCK _(turning and handing the phone to Lestrade)_: There you go. Go find out where he is and pick him up.**

"Poor kid was so scared," Lestrade informed his companions as he looked at his onscreen self. "But he was relatively unharmed."

_**(He gives John a long look, then turns and points to one of the dots in the sky of the painting.)**_

**SHERLOCK: The Van Buren Supernova, so-called. _(He holds up his phone over his shoulder so that Miss Wenceslas can see the screen.)_Exploding star, only appeared in the sky in eighteen fifty-eight.**

_**(He turns and throws her a triumphant look, then walks away. John drags in a relieved breath, then walks closer to look at the painting.)**_

**JOHN: So how could it have been painted in the sixteen forties?**

_**(He grins over his shoulder at Miss Wenceslas, then looks back to the picture again. His phone trills a text alert.)**_

"You look so proud of Sherlock," Mary teased her boyfriend. John gave her an unimpressed smile.

**JOHN: Oh.**

**_(He digs out his phone, still breathing heavily, and looks at the message which reads:_ **

**My patience is  
wearing thin.  
Mycroft Holmes**

"Speak of the devil," John remarked. Everyone found his aggravation quite amusing.

All except Mycroft. He was 100% done.

_**He growls slightly, then looks up at the painting one last time.)**_

**JOHN: Oh Sherl...**

_**(He switches off the phone and walks away. Miss Wenceslas stares at the painting in shock.)**_

**NEW SCOTLAND YARD. Sherlock and Miss Wenceslas are sitting side by side in front of Lestrade's desk while the inspector sits in a chair to the side of the desk. Sherlock has his hands in the prayer position under his chin.**

**SHERLOCK: You know, it's interesting. Bohemian stationery, an assassin named after a Prague legend, and _you_, Miss Wenceslas. This whole case has a distinctly Czech feeling about it. Is that where this leads?**

Park nudged Phil in the ribs. Phil hip-bumped her out of a sitting position. Paul grinned like the Cheshire Cat.

_**(She looks down and doesn't answer.)**_

**SHERLOCK: What are we looking at, Inspector?**

**LESTRADE _(thoughtfully)_: Well, um, criminal conspiracy, fraud, accessory after the fact at the very least. The murder of the old woman, all the people in the flats ...**

"Ooh, I see what you did there," Molly grinned. "Clever."

"Uh, thanks," Lestrade replied, still unused to Molly's morbid humor.

**MISS WENCESLAS _(panicked, to Lestrade)_: I didn't know _anything_ about that! _All_ those things! _Please_ believe me.**

_**(As she continues to stare at Lestrade, Sherlock gives him a tiny nod to confirm that she's telling the truth.)**_

**MISS WENCESLAS: I just wanted my share – the thirty million.**

"Da-" Paul was cut off by a hand covering her mouth.

"Okay, let's not make this PG-14 for language," Phil gently scolded her friend.

"They used stronger language in the episode," Paul complained.

"That I bleep out before this is uploaded." Phil crossed her arms, "You I can't bleep out."

"Why not?" Paul complained.

"Because it's less work for me that way," Phil said matter-of-factly.

Their guests watched the exchange in confusion. All except for Mycroft. He just smirked. As usual.

Annoyingly cheeky, isn't he?

The episode resumed.

_**(She looks across to Sherlock, then sighs and lowers her head again.)**_

**MISS WENCESLAS: I found a little old man in Argentina. Genius. I mean, really: brushwork immaculate, could fool anyone.**

**SHERLOCK _(sarcastically)_: Hmm!**

**MISS WENCESLAS _(looking at him briefly)_: Well, _nearly_ anyone. _(She turns back to Lestrade.)_ But I didn't know how to go about convincing the world the picture was genuine. It was just an idea – a spark which he blew into a flame.**

**SHERLOCK _(sharply)_: Who?**

**MISS WENCESLAS _(shaking her head)_: I don't know.**

_**(Lestrade gives a disbelieving laugh.)**_

**MISS WENCESLAS: It's true! I mean, it took a long time, but eventually I was put in touch with people ... _his_ people.**

_**(Sherlock slowly begins to sit up in his chair, his expression becoming more concentrated.)**_

**MISS WENCESLAS: Well, there was never any real contact; just messages ... whispers.**

"That's not at all ominous," Paul muttered.

_**(Sherlock leans closer to her, his face intense.)**_

**SHERLOCK: And did those whispers have a _name_?**

_**(She gazes ahead of herself for a moment, then looks across to Lestrade before nodding. She turns her head to Sherlock.)**_

**MISS WENCESLAS: Moriarty.**

The room was silent until Paul spoke up, "And there it is."

_Smack. _

"Ow!"

_**(Slowly Sherlock sinks back in his chair. As Miss Wenceslas looks anxiously at Lestrade again, Sherlock gazes into the distance, his eyes full of thought. Eventually he raises his hands into the prayer position in front of his mouth, then grins.)**_

**BATTERSEA. Wearing a high-vis jacket over his coat, John is walking along the railway lines with the Tube guard who found Andrew West's body.**

**JOHN: So this is where West was found?**

**TUBE GUARD: Yeah.**

**JOHN: Uh-huh.**

**TUBE GUARD: You gonna be long?**

**JOHN: I might be.**

**TUBE GUARD: You with the police, then?**

**JOHN: Sort of.**

**TUBE GUARD: I hate 'em.**

**JOHN: The police?**

**TUBE GUARD: No. Jumpers.**

_**[Be careful, there, son. You don't insult jumpers in John Watson's presence.]**_

**TUBE GUARD: People who chuck themselves in front of trains. Selfish bastards.**

No one knew how to respond to that.

**JOHN: Well, that's _one_ way of looking at it.**

Irene snorted in the most lady-like/attractive way humanly possible.

_**(He squats down to look more closely at the railway track.)**_

**TUBE GUARD: I mean it. It's all right for them. It's over in a split second – strawberry jam all over the lines. What about the drivers, hmm? They've gotta live with it, haven't they?**

"Never thought about it that way," Lestrade muttered.

Phil nudged Park, "Do you see the parallels?"

_**(John runs his fingers along the track, then lifts his hand to look at it.)**_

**JOHN: Yeah, speaking of strawberry jam, there's no blood on the line. _(He stands up again.)_ Has it been cleaned off?**

**TUBE GUARD: No, there wasn't that much.**

**JOHN: You said his head was smashed in.**

**TUBE GUARD: Well, it was, but there wasn't much blood.**

"That makes no sense," Molly commented. She wore a doubtful expression. "The only way that would be possible, assuming that the tracks are the crime scene, is if someone found a way to catch the blood."

The Yarders gave her impressed looks. They had almost forgotten that she was a pathologist.

**JOHN: Okay.**

_**(He turns and looks along the line thoughtfully.)**_

**TUBE GUARD: Well, I'll leave you to it then.**

_**(John walks a few yards further down the line and then squats down again.)**_

**TUBE GUARD: Just give us a shout when you're off.**

**JOHN: Right.**

_**(The guard walks away. John stands up again and talks to himself.)**_

**JOHN: Right: so, uh, Andrew West got on the train somewhere – or _did_ he? There's no ticket on the body. Then how did he end up here?**

Mycroft looked impressed at John's train of thought. He obviously hadn't expected much of his little brother's goldfish.

_**(Beside him, the points change and one of the tracks slides sideways into a new layout. John squats down again and looks at the tracks thoughtfully.)**_

**SHERLOCK _(from behind him)_: Points.**

**JOHN: Yes!**

_**(He springs to his feet and turns around to see his flatmate standing nearby.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Knew you'd get there eventually. West wasn't killed here; that's why there was so little blood.**

**JOHN: How long have you been following me?**

**SHERLOCK: Since the start. You don't think I'd give up on a case like this just to spite my brother, do you?**

"Yes," everyone in the room, except John, said simultaneously.

He looked around in surprise, "I thought it was just me."

_**(He turns and starts walking away.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Come on. Got a bit of burglary to do.**

"That's not at all concerning," Paul remarked sarcastically.

_**Shortly afterwards the boys are walking down a street.**_

**SHERLOCK: The missile defence plans haven't left the country, otherwise Mycroft's people would have heard about it. Despite what people think, we do still have a Secret Service.**

"You do?" Park asked in mock surprise. Mycroft was unamused.

**JOHN: Yeah, I know. I've met them.**

**SHERLOCK: Which means whoever stole the memory stick can't sell it or doesn't know what to do with it. My money's on the latter. We're here.**

**JOHN: Where?**

_**(Sherlock turns into the drive of a maisonette and trots up the steps at the side of the building which lead to the front door of flat 21A on the first floor. As he rummages in his pocket, John whispers to him urgently.)**_

**JOHN: Sherlock! What if there's someone in?**

**SHERLOCK: There isn't.**

_**(He picks the lock and goes inside.)**_

**JOHN _(softly)_: Jesus!**

_**(He hurries inside and shuts the door. Sherlock trots up the short flight of stairs ahead of him and walks into the living room.)**_

**JOHN: Where are we?**

**SHERLOCK: Oh, sorry, didn't I say? Joe Harrison's flat.**

**JOHN: Joe ...?**

"Isn't that the brother?" Sally asked.

"Yup," Lestrade answered.

_**(Sherlock goes straight over to the window and pulls back the net curtain. He grins in satisfaction at the sight which greets him outside.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Brother of West's fiancée.**

"See?"

_**(Outside the window is a one-storey extension, the roof of which can be easily climbed onto from the window. The extension spreads all the way to the bottom of the garden which ends in a wall, and directly on the other side of the wall is the railway line.)**_

**SHERLOCK: _He_ stole the memory stick; killed his prospective brother-in-law.**

"Good heavens," Mrs. Hudson pressed a hand to her temple. "Is no one kind to family anymore?"

"If we knew, we'd tell you," Lestrade said, patting the landlady's hand soothingly.

_**(Dropping to his knees, he gets out his magnifier and uses it to slowly examine the edge of the window sill. John walks across to him and peers over his shoulder as Sherlock finds some tiny blood-red spots on the paint.)**_

**JOHN: Then why'd he do it?**

"Good question," Paul said.

_**(He straightens up and turns at the sound of someone unlocking the front door. Sherlock also stands.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Let's ask him.**

**_(Reaching round to the back of his jeans, John walks quietly to the door of the living room as the front door slams. He steps out onto the landing just as Joe, wearing his courier gear, is leaning his bicycle against the wall. When he sees John he picks up the bike as if he intends to use it as a weapon or simply to throw it at him. John instantly raises his right hand and points his pistol at him.) _ **

**JOHN _(sternly)_: Don't.**

"You know, sometimes I forget you're a veteran," Lestrade nodded at the screen.

_**(For a moment Joe keeps coming but John shakes his head.)**_

**JOHN: _Don't._**

"Hm," Mary snuggled into John's arm.

Her boyfriend looked at her curiously, a cross between a smile and a smirk on his face, "What?"

"Nothing," Mary replied. "It's just kind of sexy."

The episode continued before John could react.

_**(Joe stops and lowers the bike, sighing in a mixture of frustration and fear.)**_

**Shortly afterwards he is sitting on the sofa while the boys stand nearby. He is very distressed.**

**JOE: It wasn't meant to ...**

_**(Sherlock looks away, exasperated.)**_

**JOE: God. _(He rubs his hand over his face.)_ What's Lucy gonna say? Jesus.  
_(He sinks back on the sofa.)_**

**JOHN: Why did you kill him?**

**JOE: It was an accident.**

"Um, what?" Sally asked.

_**(Sherlock snorts.)**_

**JOE: I _swear_ it was.**

**SHERLOCK _(sternly)_: But stealing the plans for the missile defence programme wasn't an accident, was it?**

**JOE: I started dealing drugs. I mean, the bike thing's a great cover, right? I dunno – I dunno how it started; I just got out of my depth. I owed people thousands – _serious_ people. Then at Westie's engagement do, he starts talking about his job.**

"This is why you don't do drugs, kids," Park stated.

"Yes, stay in school. Don't do drugs," Phil said seriously.

"Yeah, hold that thought while I go rid myself of all of my catnip," Paul said, standing and preparing to leave.

Park face-palmed, "Thanks for showing us both sides of tumblr."

_**(Throughout the next part of the scene there are flashbacks to Joe and Westie in a pub which re-enact what Joe is describing.)**_

**JOE: I mean, usually he's so careful; but that night after a few pints he really opened up. He told me about these missile plans – beyond top secret. He showed me the memory stick; he waved it in front of me. You hear about these things getting lost, ending up on rubbish tips and what-not. And there it was, and I thought ... well, I thought it could be worth a fortune.**

Mycroft groaned at the underling's carelessness.

_**(In flashback, Joe helps a very drunk Westie into his jacket and slips the memory stick out of his shirt pocket as he's doing so.)**_

**JOE: It was pretty easy to get the thing off him, he was so plastered. Next time I saw him, I could tell by the look on his face that he knew.**

_**(In flashback, Joe is letting himself into his flat at night time when Westie hurries up the steps and grabs him.)**_

**WESTIE _(in flashback)_: I know you took it.**

**JOE _(in flashback)_: What are you doin' 'ere?**

**WESTIE _(in flashback)_: What have you done with it?**

**JOE _(in flashback)_: What are you talking about?**

**WESTIE _(in flashback)_: What have you done with the plans?**

_**(In the present, Joe looks up guiltily at John.)**_

**JOHN: What happened?**

_**(In flashback, Westie and Joe scuffle on the small landing outside the front door. Joe angrily shoves Westie and he loses his footing and rolls down the steps, landing heavily on the ground.)**_

"Ouch," Paul muttered.

**JOE: I _was_ gonna call an ambulance, but it was too late.**

"It often is," Molly murmured sadly.

_**(In flashback, Joe has hauled Westie's limp body into the living room, his face full of anguish.)**_

**JOE: I just didn't have a clue what to do, so I dragged him in 'ere, and I just sat in the dark, thinking.**

**SHERLOCK: When a neat little idea popped into your head.**

_**(As Joe hauls Westie across to the window, a train pulls up on the tracks outside, its brakes squealing noisily. Shortly afterwards, Joe has dragged Westie out of the window and is tugging him across the extension roof. Pulling him over the top of the wall, he steps across onto the roof of the train and drags the body over, settling it into a position along the slightly curved roof so that it won't easily fall off. He steps back onto the wall and the train sounds its horn and then continues on down the track.)**_

**SHERLOCK _(pushing the net curtain aside and looking out of the window)_: Carrying Andrew West way away from here. His body would have gone on for ages if the train hadn't met a stretch of track that curved.**

_**(In flashback, the train rockets through the area that John was recently investigating. The combination of the curve and the jolting of the train as it passes over the points throws Westie's body off the roof and onto the trackside.)**_

**JOHN: And points.**

**SHERLOCK: Exactly.**

_**(And the Tube guard walks along the track and finds Westie's body the next morning.)**_

_**[And can your transcriber interject at this point to say that the next moment – when John walks across the screen and wipes that trackside scene away, returning us to the flat – combined with the glorious music all through the latter part of the scene, makes it in her opinion the absolutely best moment of the entire series so far.]**_

**JOHN: D'you still have it, then? The memory stick?**

_**(Joe nods.)**_

**SHERLOCK: Fetch it for me – if you wouldn't mind.**

_**(Sighing unhappily, Joe stands up and walks into another room. Sherlock walks closer to John.)**_

**SHERLOCK _(quietly)_: Distraction over, the game continues.**

"Oh, yeah. That wasn't the main case," Lestrade sighed in resignation.

**JOHN: Well, maybe _that's_ over, too. We've heard nothing from the bomber.**

**SHERLOCK: Five pips, remember, John? It's a countdown. We've only had four.**

"Ah, great," Anderson groaned. "More run-ins with the mad bomber."

"Naturally," Phil smiled. She hauled herself to her feet with a groan, pausing the video on her way up, "That's enough for today."

* * *

**Not gonna lie. This took forever.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

**I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long! I'm making my friends' dresses for an upcoming dance, trying to catch up in some classes, and getting ready for a ton of special occasions.**

**Did everyone else see The Abominable Bride? If you want, I can do a bonus chapter where the characters watch that. Though it will take some time.**

**To answer Twinborn's question, I will be including most of season 2 and bits of season 1, though season 3 reactions will be kind of limited. It's not smart to show people the future. I'm also really glad you enjoy this so much.**

**From now on I will be mentioning Phil, Park and Paul less. They will still be there, just in smaller amounts.**

**For those of you who are interested, the sequel to Reichenbach Misunderstandings, Reichenbach Redemption, is up. I haven't been updating as often as I should, so don't expect too much from that right now.**

**As usual, I own nothing.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Alright, come on you two," Phil said with a smile. She stood, pulling Park and Paul onto their feet.

"What's going on?" Paul asked as she shook off Phil's hand.

"People are finally starting to get sick of us, so we're going to finish watching this from the projection room," Phil announced.

"Took them long enough," Park smirked.

"But, but...I need to see what happens next," Paul whined.

"Don't worry. You will."

Park and Phil linked arms with their reluctant companion, "From the projection room."

Phil tossed the remote to John, then she and Park dragged Paul out the door.

The audience exchanged glances, then shrugged as John hit the play button.

**_NIGHT TIME. 221B. Both Sherlock and John are in their coats because the windows still haven't been replaced. Sherlock is sitting in his armchair with his feet up on the seat and his arms folded tightly around him, trying to conserve heat. The pink phone is on the arm of the chair. John is sitting at the dining table, typing on his laptop. The TV is on and a Jerry Springer/Jeremy Kyle-type show is playing. As the audience boos noisily, Sherlock yells indignantly at the telly._**

**SHERLOCK: No, no, no! Of course he's not the boy's father! _(He gestures at the screen.)_Look at the turn-ups on his jeans!**

"That's really what he does when he doesn't have a case?" Anderson asked incredulously.

Sally grumbled, "I'm not even that surprised."

Anderson frowned to himself, "How are you supposed to tell parentage by clothing, anyway?!"

"Incredible," Irene muttered at the observation.

**_(Sighing, he folds his arms again. John, who has looked round to see what Sherlock is protesting about, gets back to his typing.)_**

**JOHN: Knew it was dangerous.**

The audience, save for John and Mycroft, looked tense and confused, still in edge because of the recent dangerous exploits of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.

**SHERLOCK: Hmm?**

**JOHN: Getting you into crap telly.**

Everyone released a sigh of release hey hadn't realized they'd been holding. A few nervous laughs were mixed in with the simultaneous exhale.

**SHERLOCK: Hmm. Not a patch on Connie Prince.**

**JOHN: Have you given Mycroft the memory stick yet?**

**SHERLOCK: Yep. He was over the moon. Threatened me with a knighthood – again.**

"'Threatened with the knighthood'?! And what does he mean 'again'?" Lestrade sputtered.

Anderson and Sally exchanged horrified looks at the thought of being forced to address the freak as Sir Sherlock Holmes.

Mycroft was caught between the urge to frown at Sherlock and smirk at everyone else. His little brother was, he had to admit, a good liar.

**JOHN: You know, I'm still waiting.**

**SHERLOCK: Hmm?**

**JOHN: For you to admit that a little knowledge of the solar system and you'd have cleared up the fake painting a lot quicker.**

Lestrade chuckled to himself.

**SHERLOCK: Didn't do you any good, did it?**

**JOHN: No, but I'm not the world's only consulting detective.**

**SHERLOCK_ (smiling)_: True.**

Sally and Anderson took in the image of Sherlock smiling with an awkward uncertainty.

**_(John has closed the lid of his laptop and now stands up.)_**

**JOHN: I won't be in for tea. I'm going to Sarah's. There's still some of that risotto left in the fridge.**

In the projection room, Paul frowned and muttered to herself, "Weird British people have specific time for tea?"

Mary frowned a little at the mention of Sarah and rested her head on John's shoulder. She smiled as John pressed a kiss against her blonde hair.

**SHERLOCK_ (his eyes still fixed on the TV)_: Mm!**

**_(John stops at the door.)_**

**JOHN: Uh, milk. We need milk.**

**SHERLOCK: I'll get some.**

"Really?!" Almost everyone asked in disbelief.

**JOHN_ (turning back with a look of disbelief on his face)_: Really?!**

**SHERLOCK: Really.**

**JOHN: And some beans, then?**

**SHERLOCK_ (still not looking away from the TV)_: Mmm.**

"Wow," Molly muttered as everyone else stared at Sherlock's image in disbelief.

**_(John hesitates, still surprised, but then nods and walks away. Sherlock continues to gaze at the TV until he hears the downstairs door open and close, then he picks up his computer notebook from where it was tucked down beside him. Putting it on his lap and opening the lid, he stares at the message box on The Science of Deduction website before starting to type._**

"Naturally, he had other plans," Lestrade sighed, shaking his head at the man who had given him most of his grey hair.

**_Found. The Bruce-Partington plans. Please collect._**

Mycroft allowed his eyes to roll in a most dapper fashion, "Oh Sherlock, you idiot."

Everyone else looked at him like he was insane.

**_He lifts his eyes in thought for a moment, then quirks a small smile before returning to his typing._**

**_The Pool. Midnight._**

**_He sends the message, then closes the lid, gazing thoughtfully into the distance.)_**

**_SWIMMING POOL. Sherlock opens a door leading into the area surrounding an indoor swimming pool. The lights are on but there is nobody visible in the area. Somewhere between Baker Street and here, he has taken off his Coat and is just wearing his suit, so presumably the heating is on as well. He walks slowly towards the shallow end of the pool, probably very aware that the upper gallery where people sit and watch the swimmers is still in darkness. He stops at the edge of the pool and turns, trying to see up into the viewing gallery. Finally he turns towards the pool again, raising one hand and holding up the memory stick._**

John gulped, well aware of what was coming. Mary looked over at her boyfriend in concern.

"Sherlock," Lestrade groaned.

Mrs. Hudson ran her aged fingers over the fabric that hid her collar bones, face creased with worry, " Oh dear, that reckless boy."

Everyone else looked back at Mycroft in hopes of gaging his reaction. He kept a detached mask of stoickness, as he had already known about the proceedings at the poolside.

**SHERLOCK_ (loudly)_: Brought you a little getting-to-know-you present. Oh, that's what it's all been for, hasn't it? All your little puzzles; making me dance – all to distract me from this.**

**_(He gestures with the memory stick, then begins to turn in a slow circle as he waits for a response. When his back is turned to the pool, a door opens halfway down the room. Sherlock looks over his shoulder, still holding the memory stick aloft. And John Watson walks through the door and into the pool area, wrapped snugly in a hooded jacket with his hands tucked into the pockets. He turns and looks at Sherlock as the detective stares back at him in absolute shock.)_**

"What the-"

In the projection room, Paul looked over at Park and Phil in confusion, " Wait, John's Moriarty?"

Everyone looked over at John, even Mycroft, though his purpose for the glance was far different from anyone else's. While Mycroft looked slightly more concerned than usual and both Anderson and Sally looked suspicious, everyone else looked blindsided by the appearance of John at the poolside.

John looked at Lestrade and the other two Yarders in confusion, "I thought you knew about this?"

"No, someone else took care of it," Lestrade replied, still shocked by the unforeseen turn of events.

"Oh, come on. You can't seriously think I'm Moriarty. After the trial and everything...you think Sherlock and I would still be friends if I was Moriarty?" John pointed out to the police force. They flushed, avoiding his gaze and turning back to the screen.

"Oh," Paul quietly said to herself, having heard John's explaination. Her friends patted her back to show their support.

**JOHN: Evening.**

**_(Sherlock's raised hand begins to lower slowly but otherwise he doesn't move, still staring over his shoulder in utter disbelief.)_**

**JOHN: This is a turn-up, isn't it, Sherlock?**

**SHERLOCK_ (softly, shocked)_: John. What the hell ...?**

"That's what everyone is thinking," Anderson muttered.

"Shhh!" Molly and Mrs. Hudson shushed him.

**JOHN: Bet you never saw this coming.**

_**(Finally Sherlock manages to move, and starts to walk slowly towards the man he had believed to be his friend until now. The shock and bewilderment on his face makes him look about twelve years old. Then, with a look of despair which matches Sherlock's, John takes his hands from his pockets and pulls open his jacket to reveal a bomb strapped to his chest. From somewhere in the upper gallery, a sniper's laser immediately begins to dance over the bomb.)**_

Everyone in the audience was silent, watching the scene unfold in horror. Mrs. Hudson's hands had lamper over her mouth, Molly had shrunk back into the couch and Mary had burrowed into John's jacket.

John himself had tensed up, eyes trained on the bomb that had once been strapped to his chest. Gunshots echoed in his ears and lights flashed in his peripheral vision, acting as a grim reminder of his time in Afghanistan.

**JOHN: What ... would you like me ... to make him say ... next?**

**_(Sherlock continues to step towards him but now he is looking everywhere but at John as he tries to see who else is in the area.)_**

**JOHN _(obviously narrating words spoken into an earpiece)_: Gottle o' geer ... gottle o' geer ... gottle o' geer.**

**_(His voice almost breaks on the last phrase.)_**

Mary choked on a sob. Despite having been in similar situations before, seeing her John with a sniper trained on him and a bomb strapped to him was torture.

**SHERLOCK: Stop it.**

**JOHN_ (narrating)_: Nice touch, this: the pool where little Carl died. I stopped him. _(He tries not to cringe as he listens to the next words.)_ I can stop John Watson too. _(He looks down at the laser point on his chest.)_ Stop his heart.**

"Don't you dare," Mary hissed.

"Mary dear, this is all in the past. There's nothing you can do to change it," John gently informed his girlfriend.

She frowned, "That doesn't mean I like it."

**SHERLOCK_ (turning on the spot while he tries to look in all directions)_: Who are you?**

**_(A door opens at the far end of the pool and a soft male voice with an Irish accent speaks from that direction.)_**

**VOICE: I gave you my number.**

All eyes drifted to Molly.

**_(We get a brief glimpse of a man wearing a suit and tie, but he is currently mostly obscured by a column.)_**

Paul gasped, pointing at the screen, "Molly's boyfriend! He's Moriarty! Moriarty is gay!"

**VOICE_ (plaintively)_: I thought you might call.**

**(_Sherlock turns towards the new arrival, who now slowly walks out into the open. It's Jim, Molly's boyfriend. But this isn't the fumble-fingered casually-dressed Londoner who did indeed leave his number for Sherlock in the lab at Bart's; this is a sharply-dressed man with immaculate hair and a murderous look on his face. With his hands in his pockets, he casually begins to stroll alongside the deep end of the pool, heading towards Sherlock and John. All hint of plaintiveness has now gone from his voice.)_**

"Wait," Irene said, her gaze drifting from the Telly to the petite pathologist. "Are you telling me that you all have been acting like your pathologist is a mousy pushover when she dumped the most dangerous criminal in all of England."

The audience all looked at one another as Molly blushed a deep red. They had never thought about it that way.

In the projection booth, Phil smiled triumphantly, " See? I told you Molly was a total bada-"

**JIM: Is that a British Army Browning L9A1 in your pocket ...**

**_(Sherlock reaches down to his trouser pocket and removes a pistol from it.)_**

Mrs. Hudson looked so done.

**JIM: ... or are you just pleased to see me?**

"Is he really flirting?" Anderson asked with a deadpan expression.

"You can't really blame him," Irene allowed the corner of her perfect red lips to curl into a Cheshire grin.

**SHERLOCK _(raising the pistol and aiming it towards Jim)_: Both.**

"And he's flirting back," Sally muttered exasperatedly.

Irene frowned, "He never paid that luxury to me."

"I guess it's because you were never much of a challenge to his intellect as you were to his emotions," John remarked.

Irene looked slightly offended and just a little impressed at John's sass.

**_(Jim stops and looks back at him, unafraid.)_**

**JIM: Jim Moriarty. Hi!**

**_(Sherlock tilts his head as he looks more closely at the man. Jim acts as if he needs to remind Sherlock who he is.)_**

**JIM: Jim? Jim from the hospital?**

**_(He begins to walk alongside the deep end again. Sherlock brings up his other hand to support the one aiming the gun. Jim bites his lip as if disappointed.)_**

**JIM: Oh. Did I really make such a fleeting impression? But then, I suppose, that was rather the point.**

**_(He turns to face Sherlock just as the sniper's laser flickers over John's upper chest. Sherlock briefly turns his head towards John, a questioning look on his face.)_**

**JIM _(starting to walk again)_: Don't be silly. Someone else is holding the rifle. I don't like getting my hands dirty.**

**_(He reaches the corner of the pool and stops.)_**

**JIM: I've given you a glimpse, Sherlock, just a teensy glimpse of what I've got going on out there in the big bad world. I'm a specialist, you see ...**

**_(He looks surprised, as if he has only just realised the connection.)_**

**JIM: ... like you!**

"Well that's an unnerving comparison," Sally noted.

**SHERLOCK: "Dear Jim. Please will you fix it for me to get rid of my lover's nasty sister?"**

_**(Starting to walk forward again, Jim grins as he recognises the TV show and catchphrase that Sherlock is quoting.) **_

**SHERLOCK: "Dear Jim. Please will you fix it for me to disappear to South America?"**

**JIM _(stopping again)_: Just so.**

**SHERLOCK: Consulting criminal. _(softly)_ Brilliant.**

"Priorities," Anderson mumbled.

**JIM _(smiling proudly)_: Isn't it? No-one ever gets to me – and no-one ever will.**

**SHERLOCK_ (cocking the pistol)_: I did.**

**JIM: You've come the closest. Now you're in my way.**

Molly looked down at her lap, crossing her arms and shaking her head, "Naturally."

**SHERLOCK: Thank you.**

**JIM: Didn't mean it as a compliment.**

**SHERLOCK: Yes you did.**

**JIM _(shrugging)_: Yeah, okay, I did. But the flirting's over, Sherlock ... _(His voice becomes high-pitched and sing-song.)_ Daddy's had enough now!**

"Please tell me I'm not the only one weirded out by that," John exclaimed desperately.

Everyone else, to his content, was nodding their agreement.

**_(He again starts to stroll closer.)_**

**JIM_ (back to his normal tone)_: I've shown you what I can do. I cut loose all those people, all those little problems, even thirty million quid just to get you to come out and play.**

**_(John is starting to feel the strain and closes his eyes briefly. Sherlock's eyes can't help but flicker across to him a couple of times as he tries to keep his focus on the man approaching them.)_**

Everyone was quiet, but clearly observed Sherlock's regard for his friend.

**JIM: So take this as a friendly warning, my dear. Back off.**

**_(He smiles.)_**

**JIM: Although I have loved this – this little game of ours._ (He puts on his London accent for a moment.) _Playing Jim from I.T._ (He switches back to his Irish accent.)_ Playing gay. Did you like the little touch with the underwear?**

"Wait, so he's not gay?" Paul asked.

"I like to think he is," Park replied.

"You and me both," Phil grinned.

They high-fived.

**SHERLOCK: People have died.**

**JIM: That's what people DO!**

Everyone jumped at the sudden change of volume.

**_(He screams the last word furiously, his personality changing in an instant.)_**

"And this, Dr. Anderson," Mycroft pointed out. "Is an example of what you have so often labeled my brother as. Moriarty is a prime example of a psychopath."

**SHERLOCK_ (softly)_: I will stop you.**

**JIM _(calmer again)_: No you won't.**

**_(Sherlock looks across to John.)_**

**SHERLOCK: You all right?**

**_(John deliberately keeps his gaze away from his friend, presumably having been given instructions earlier about not talking to him. Jim walks forward again and reaches his side.)_**

**JIM: You can talk, Johnny-boy. Go ahead.**

**_(Refusing to specifically obey Jim's orders, John meets Sherlock's eyes and nods once. Sherlock takes one hand off the pistol and holds out the memory stick towards Jim.)_**

"Aren't you a rebellious one," Irene noted, tapping a finger to her lips.

**SHERLOCK: Take it.**

Everyone groaned at Sherlock's disregard for national security.

**JIM: Huh? Oh! That!**

**_(He strolls past John and reaches out for the stick, grinning.)_**

**JIM: The missile plans!**

**_(He takes the stick from Sherlock's fingers and brings it to his mouth, kissing it. Behind him, John is silently murmuring to himself, perhaps trying to keep himself focussed, perhaps winding himself up to take action. Jim lowers the memory stick and looks at it.)_**

**JIM _(sing-song)_: Boring!**

**_(He shakes his head.)_**

**JIM: I could have got them anywhere.**

**_(He nonchalantly tosses the stick into the pool. Seeing his opportunity, John races forward and slams himself up against Jim's back, wrapping one arm around his neck and the other around his chest. Sherlock backs up a step in surprise but keeps the pistol raised and aimed at Jim.)_**

"John!" Mary yelped.

"Are you crazy?" Lestrade cried.

Everyone's eyes were glued to the screen. The tension hung thickly in the air.

**JOHN: Sherlock, run!**

**_(Jim laughs in delight.)_**

**JIM: Good! Very good.**

**_(Sherlock doesn't move, still aiming his gun at Jim's head but now starting to look up a little anxiously, as if wondering what action the hidden sniper might take.)_**

**JOHN _(savagely)_: If your sniper pulls that trigger, Mr Moriarty, then we both go up.**

**JIM _(calmly, to Sherlock)_: Isn't he sweet? I can see why you like having him around. But then people do get so sentimental about their pets.**

"Thanks for that," John muttered, as the others glared at him. He was the only one unaffected by the deadly turn of events.

**_(Grimacing angrily, John pulls him even closer onto the bomb which is now sandwiched between them. Jim scowls round at him.)_**

**JIM: They're so touchingly loyal. But, oops!**

**_(He grins briefly at John, then looks towards Sherlock.)_**

**JIM: You've rather shown your hand there, Doctor Watson.**

**_(He chuckles as a new laser point appears in the middle of Sherlock's forehead. John stares in horror as Jim looks round at him expectantly. Sherlock, either seeing the edge of the laser beam shining from the gallery or realising what's happening from John's expression, shakes his head slightly.)_**

The audience gave horrified gasps...

...including Paul, who continued to stuff her face with popcorn. Stress eating, you know?

**JIM _(sing-song)_: Gotcha!**

**_(He chuckles as John releases his grip on him and steps back, holding his hands up to signal to the sniper that he won't be trying anything else. Jim glances round at him, then turns back towards Sherlock while brushing his hands down his suit to straighten it. He gestures to it indignantly.)_**

**JIM: Westwood! **

**_(He lowers his hands and stands calmly in front of Sherlock who is still aiming the pistol at his head.)_**

**JIM: D'you know what happens if you don't leave me alone, Sherlock, to you?**

**SHERLOCK _(sounding bored)_: Oh, let me guess: I get killed.**

If they hadn't been so worried, everyone would've face-palmed at Sherlock's nonchalant attitude.

**JIM: Kill you?_ (He grimaces.)_ N-no, don't be obvious. I mean, I'm gonna kill you anyway some day. I don't wanna rush it, though. I'm saving it up for something special. No-no-no-no-no. If you don't stop prying, I'll burn you.**

Everyone was speechless and could simply stare at the screen in awe of the egos of both hero and villain.

**_(He runs his eyes briefly down Sherlock's body, then meets his eyes again and his voice becomes vicious.)_**

**JIM: I'll burn the heart out of you.**

**_(His face is a snarl as he says the word 'heart' but at the end of the sentence he looks almost regretful.)_**

**SHERLOCK_ (softly)_: I have been reliably informed that I don't have one.**

Anderson and Sally glanced at each other, throats dry. Everyone in the room who had ever said something of the sort to Sherlock felt the guilt gnawing away at them as they saw how Sherlock was hurt by it.

**JIM: But we both know that's not quite true.**

**_(Sherlock blinks involuntarily. Jim looks down, smiling, then shrugs.)_**

**JIM: Well, I'd better be off.**

**_(He nonchalantly looks around, perhaps checking his exit route, before turning back to Sherlock.)_**

**JIM: Well, so nice to have had a proper chat.**

**_(Sherlock raises the pistol higher and extends it closer to Jim's head.)_**

**SHERLOCK: What if I was to shoot you now – right now?**

"Yes please," Molly said wearily. "It would've saved us so much trouble."

Everyone except Mycroft looked at Molly in surprise and confusion. Sherlock's elder brother was the only one who knew about her role in Sherlock's 'death'.

**JIM_ (completely unperturbed)_: Then you could cherish the look of surprise on my face.**

**_(He opens his eyes and mouth wide, mimicking surprise, then grins at Sherlock.)_**

Mary smirked despite her fear, "Put that on a t-shirt."

**JIM: 'Cause I'd be surprised, Sherlock; really I would.**

**_(He screws up his nose.)_**

**JIM: And just a teensy bit disappointed. And of course you wouldn't be able to cherish it for very long.**

**_(Slowly he begins to turn away.)_**

**JIM: Ciao, Sherlock Holmes.**

**_(Looking back at Sherlock with some distaste, he walks calmly towards the side door which John came through earlier. Sherlock slowly steps forward to keep him in his sights.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Catch ... you ... later.**

**_(The door opens and Jim's voice can be heard, high-pitched and sing-song.)_**

**JIM: No you won't!**

**_(The door closes. Sherlock doesn't move for a few seconds, his gun still aimed towards the door, then his gaze drifts across to John and he instantly bends, putting the pistol on the floor, then drops to his knees in front of John and starts unfastening the vest to which the bomb is attached.)_**

Everyone gave relieved sighs at the illusion of safety. Only John knew what was to come.

**SHERLOCK: All right?**

**_(John tilts his head back, breathing heavily.)_**

**SHERLOCK_ (urgently)_: Are you all right?**

"Answer the question, John," Mary said through clenched teeth.

**JOHN: Yeah-yeah, I'm fine.**

**_(Having unfastened the vest, Sherlock jumps up and hurries round behind John, starting to pull off the jacket and the bomb vest.)_**

**JOHN: I'm fine.**

**_(Sherlock, also breathing too fast, continues tugging at the jacket and vest.)_**

**JOHN: Sherlock.**

**_(Finally Sherlock manages to roughly strip the jacket and vest off John's arms.)_**

**JOHN: Sh-Sherlock!**

**_(Sherlock bends and skims the items as far away along the floor as he can, while John staggers at the vehemence with which his friend just ripped them off him.)_**

The room's occupants relaxed further as the bomb skidded away from the pair.

**JOHN _(softly)_: Jesus.**

**_(He reaches up and pulls the earpiece from his ear, breathing heavily as delayed shock begins to hit him. Sherlock turns and stares at him for a moment, then hurries back to pick up the pistol before racing towards the door through which Moriarty left. John's knees buckle and he staggers towards the nearest support, the edge of one of the changing cubicles.)_**

**JOHN: Oh, Christ.**

**_(He turns and drops down into a squat, bracing his back against the cubicle's edge as he blows out a long breath and tries to calm himself down. Sherlock comes back in, having apparently seen no sign of Moriarty outside. He starts to pace up and down near John, so hyper and distracted that he doesn't even realise that he is scratching his head with the business end of a loaded and cocked pistol.)_**

Lestrade's face expressed annoyance, "Please tell me he isn't doing what I think he's doing."

Mrs. Hudson flinched, "When will that boy realize that he needs to be more careful with guns?"

**JOHN _(breathlessly)_: Are you okay?**

**SHERLOCK _(quick fire, still pacing and scratching his head with the gun)_: Me? Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Fine.**

"No you're not," Molly pointed out. No one saw reason to point out she was talking to the Telly.

**_(He turns to John, wide-eyed and breathless.)_**

**SHERLOCK: That, er ... thing that you, er, that you did – that, um ... _(he clears his throat) _... you offered to do. That was, um ... good.**

"And we're back to the awkward," Mary grinned.

**JOHN _(staring blankly ahead of himself)_: I'm glad no-one saw that.**

**_(Sherlock had temporarily lowered his hand long enough not to be risking accidentally shooting himself in the head, although he had terrible jitters as he held the gun down by his side. Now he lifts the gun again as he raises his hand to rub his chin while looking down at John in confusion.)_**

**SHERLOCK: Hmm?**

**JOHN_ (still not meeting his eyes)_: You, ripping my clothes off in a darkened swimming pool. People might talk.**

"Priorities," Mary scolded her boyfriend, hitting his chest lightly.

John shrugged, "It's a coping mechanism."

Mary looked up at him mournfully and snuggled closer.

**_(Sherlock shrugs.)_**

**SHERLOCK: People do little else.**

"That's true," Molly murmured.

**_(He looks down at John, then grins. John snorts laughter, then leans forward and prepares to stand up. But before he can move, the beam from a sniper's laser begins to dance over his chest. John looks down at it and his face fills with horror.)_**

"Oh dear!" Mrs. Hudson fretted.

Lestrade groaned, "Don't you two ever get a break?"

"Oh no," Mary pressed a hand to her forhead, anxious for her boyfriend to be out of danger. Despite knowing that he was safe and sound right next to her, watching him in danger was nerve wracking.

Detecting her discomfort, John tightened his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders.

**JOHN_ (anguished)_: Oh ...**

**_(A door near the deep end of the pool opens and Jim comes through, clapping his hands together and turning to face our heroes.)_**

Molly flinched.

**JIM_ (cheerfully)_: Sorry, boys! I'm soooooo changeable!**

Lestrade growled at the screen, "Son of a-"

**_(John grimaces in disbelief. Sherlock keeps his back to Jim, looking up into the gallery to try and judge how many snipers there might be up there. It's becoming clear that there are quite a few because there are at least two laser points hovering over John, and at least three more travelling over Sherlock's body. Jim laughs and spread his arms wide.)_**

**JIM: It is a weakness with me but, to be fair to myself, it is my only weakness.**

"Well, he's humble," Lestrade broke the tension before being shushed by everyone else in the room.

**_(He lowers his hands and puts them in his pockets. Sherlock turns his head and looks down at John, who lifts his own head to meet his gaze.)_**

**JIM: You can't be allowed to continue. You just can't. I would try to convince you but ..._ (he laughs and his voice becomes sing-song again)_ ... everything I have to say has already crossed your mind!**

**_(Sherlock, who had looked away from John for a moment, now turns and looks down at him again, his face showing no emotion but his eyes screaming a silent request. John responds instantly with a tiny nod, giving him full permission to do whatever he deems necessary.)_**

"Am I the only one who finds the nonverbal communication freaky?" Sally asked dryly.

Anderson snorted.

**SHERLOCK_ (turning to face Jim)_: Probably my answer has crossed yours.**

**_(He raises the pistol and aims it at him. Jim smiles confidently, with no fear in his expression. Slowly Sherlock lowers the pistol downwards until it's pointing directly at the bomb jacket. All three sets of eyes lock onto the jacket, John breathing heavily, Sherlock calm. Jim tilts his head, looking a little anxious for the first time. As Sherlock holds his hand steady, continuing to aim towards the jacket, Jim lifts his head and locks eyes with his nemesis. Sherlock gazes back at him and Jim begins to smile. Sherlock's eyes narrow slightly.) _**

"And...cliffhanger!" Phil yelled, coming out of seemingly nowhere to pause the scene.

"No!" Almost everyone cried.

John frowned in confusion, "When did you get here?"

"The door right there," Phil pointed over her shoulder. John shrugged, accepting the answer as everyone else silently begged their host to continue the scene and relieve their anticipation.

Instead, Phil knelt next to the DVD player and replaced the disc with a new one. Standing up, she shrugged, "The scene continues in season two. Trust me, I didn't like the wait either."

"No one did!" Park's muffled voice drifted from the projection room.

* * *

**Since y'all waited for so long, I decided to give you a nice long chapter.**

**I promise that I'll update sooner.**

**Thanks for reading!**


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